NBR WWYD?

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myatala

AudeSapere89 said:

Okay so a little background info:

My SIL has a DS who is 20 months old. The last few months I have babysat him a handful of times and more the most part is is well behaved for his age. My SIL has been in a dependency case because of her XH abusing my nephew. Today the case was officially closed which means CPS can't require a background check and approval on who babysit my nephew.

Moving on to what's going on.

My SIL got invited to her Uncles birthday in Seattle which is an hour drive from where we live on good traffic. She first asked her mom to babysit (MIL never got CPS approved to babysit) and then she asked me. I'm the only one who took the time to get approved. During the dependency case if she needed childcare it was either day care or me. So today she sent a text asking me to babysit on my only day off. Honestly my first reaction was "shit.... I really don't want to spend my day entertaining a 20 month old kid " My second thought was Care.com.

It's been suggested on this site multiple times so I went to the site and it seems like the best thing for my SIL. They offer background checks and experience with First Aid & CPR. Some even have their CNA license. I shot a text to my SIL explaining all the benefits of this childcare service and she said "if you can't do it just tell me " which put me off from even helping her because I never said I couldn't do it. In all reality I will probably end up doing it because I'm her only option. That's why I suggesting, now that the case is over, to find more options in childcare.

Should I stand my ground and say "No, you need to start finding childcare other than me in case I'm at work or I'm busy"? Or am I being selfish and a total bitch?

She needs to handle her own childcare. Your time is valuable and you shouldn't have to sacrifice your own plans because it's easier for her.

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Disneygeek77

Does she pay you to babysit her son, because if not, then I highly doubt she will be using care.com.  

The only way she will use that service is if you stop making yourself available.  If you don't want to babysit, that is ok and it doesn't make you selfish, not one bit.

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loisloan1118

Some times moms (and dads) have to miss out on things because they can't find sitters. that's life. I use family for DD, but if they're not available then I don't go.
however, if you're going to suggest she get an alternate sitter, like care.com it's best to bring it up at another time, when she's not looking for a sister. Perhaps in a week or two you can offer to help her research a sitter so she has reliable one when needed.