Working two jobs- feel like husband doesn't support me.

natalie5851

I'm apologizing in advance for the length....
I work part-time from home about 20-25 hours a week and then work 2 days on the weekends as a server in a restaurant. I feel so unbelievably stressed and exhausted. Every day I have to go into my second job I just want to walk right out the door. I'm miserable. I wish my husband would just give me an out but he says we need the money. I get frustrated because I barely make $100 a week at this second job and yet he goes and buys Starbucks every morning before work and will go and spend money on lunch or buy a new pair of shoes. I feel like he doesn't care about my happiness and I'm really starting to resent it. Sometimes I get upset that he doesn't make more money (which I know is terrible) he gets bonuses but it's not until the end of the year. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. Every weekend I'm in tears. It takes so much energy taking care of my son all day WHILE also working from home and I feel like my husband doesn't think my contributions mean anything. I just wish I could get more support.

VOR

I read a few "I feels" about your DH.  Have you actually TALKED to him about all of this?  Has he TOLD you he doesn't care?  Has he TOLD you he thinks your contributions mean nothing?  Does he really know how much you hate your 2nd job?

 

If you haven't, this is where you need to start. 

Mustardseed2007

You should either sit down and budget with him as others have suggested or you should do something like Financial Peace University to help you sit down together and budget. You both need to understand the other's spending and earnings so you can make a plan and figure out if this 2nd job of yours is really important or if your work from home is really working.

mlee116

I'm sorry you're going through this too.  It sucks to feel unsupported by the person who should support you the most!

I agree with what PP's said.  I also think that some counseling would be a good idea.  Or at least sit down, uninterrupted, and share what you are both feeling.  If he doesn't know what you're feeling, he can't make any changes.  I think you both need to agree on a budget or do a program like the Financial Peace University @Mustardseed2007.  Finances are a huge part of a relationship and you need to be on the same page.

I agree w/ @LibraryChica that your H probably has no idea how hard it is to watch a child and work, esp. if he's never done it.  I know I wouldn't be able to do it.  Have you looked into some kind of childcare for the days you work from home?  Or maybe even another job so that you aren't working two part time jobs?  Good luck and hang in there.

CarrieB.

Reading this I think "oh, I hope my DH doesn't secretly think this of me" because he works from home, cares for our kids during the day and then works an evening/weekend job and I do buy Starbucks too much.

But I think the difference is that my DH really likes his work from home. He's a freelance writer, so his hours are way more flexible and he probably puts in fewer work from home hours than you do. And he makes more money from his evening-leave the house job.

Not liking your jobs is kind of a big deal in my opinion.

My DH and I have frequent "state of our finances" chats. I pay all our bills, so I let him know about how much everything is costing and what we can budget for. Talk to your husband.

jf198400

I think the others have given great advice already. Have you looked at how much money you would make if you took a FT out of the home job, with childcare? It might even out with how much you are currently making. Aside from that, I think the idea of tracking all your hours for a week would help give your DH an idea of what you actually do. He probably has no idea how hard it really is.