intro

mumel16

Hi everyone. I've been lurking for a little bit so wanted to introduce myself. My name's Mel, and in September 2013 my husband and I had a beautiful baby boy. Long story later (if you're interested his story is in my blog, I have no trouble sharing it with strangers, but it really is long: lincolnsliver.blogspot.com), he passed away on May 14th two days shy of 8 months old.

Lincoln was the most amazing person I've ever met. He had to have heart surgery, kidney surgery, countless tests, and still had the most amazing smile. He had to be in the hospital the last 2.5 months of his life but the whole time he was nothing but wonderful. The doctors and physical & occupational therapists at the hospital always expected his mental development to be a little slower, but he was a smarty pants. The first time the physical therapist read him a book to see how he did she said she wasn't sure if he'd "get" it or pay attention. She was corrected when he paid attention the whole time and helped her turn the pages! <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

His nurses were absolute suckers for him. He had a pacifier with a lamb attached, which he was perfectly capable of grabbing when it was within arm’s reach. He knew how to turn it around to get it in his mouth. But since he was a “liver kid” the nurses didn’t expect him to be able to. So of course if me or his dad were near him he’d grab it on his own without issue, no whining at all. If only a nurse was within ear shot he’d start whining and look at them with sad eyes, and they’d come running to “save” him. Suckers, all of them J

That ends the bragging portion of my post. I just can’t help it, I’m so proud of everything about him.

Losing Lincoln has been a kind of pain I never knew existed. His dad and I had so many plans for him. I miss him so much. I hate that all of us here know how that feels.

Lincoln passing away didn't eliminate our desire for a family, so my husband and I will start TTC again this month. I want to grow our family so badly, but worry a lot. I worry that we won't love a new baby as much as we loved Lincoln. I worry that we'll compare them. I was never a "gushy" pregnant person, and before Lincoln was born I worried that I wouldn't love him enough, but the minute I heard his cry I loved him more than I ever thought I could. I just have to have faith that the same thing would happen with another baby.

Thank you everyone for being here and being supportive. I hope I can help offer support to you as well. Maybe we can all pull through this.

mumel16

Sorry everyone, I just realized how long this is. When I get started about Lincoln you can't shut me up!

ikrystal

Don't be sorry!  You should brag about your baby all you want - I do it all the time!  We are all proud of our little ones here.  I am so sorry that you lost him.  You will find a ton of support here.  The ladies on this board are wonderful.  Don't forget to check out TTCAL as well.  Some of us are on that board too.  Hugs and love to you.

Dixon813

I'm so sorry for your loss of precious Lincoln.  Thank you for sharing him with us - know you can do it any time.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family...

bunnybun4

I'm so sorry for the loss of sweet Lincoln.  big ((hugs))

Maybe Joleisa

I loved reading about your son; brag away, dear. ((hugs)) I'm so sorry about the loss of your sweet little boy, Lincoln.

shandorfml2

Im so sorry for the liss of your sweet lincoln... (((hugs)))

lrichmond86

So sorry for the loss of your sweet boy. He sounds like a really wonderful child! I think we all like to brag about our babies, so feel free! Much love to your family.

VyD81

Edit, ***siggy warning***

I'm sorry for the loss of Lincoln. Hugs. 

hsabyan

It's your given right as a mother to brag... and this is a perfect place to do it. So sorry for your loss, but welcome, you're in good company. 

MeNV

Talking about your amazing Lincoln is nothing to apologize for. I am so, so sorry for your loss. 

erinel

Welcome, and thanks for sharing.  I love bragging about Q as well, so I get it   I'm very sorry for your loss, and as another mom who lost her son after birth (although my son was 5.5 weeks old) after illness, I'm especially sorry that you are here. 

stefuge

I am so sorry for your loss of little Lincoln, but thank you for sharing him with us! I am so sorry you are joining us here, and your fears about a future pregnancy are completely normal. Just about every week there is a TTCAL check-in and feel free to join in.

lexusolsen

I'm so sorry for the loss of Lincoln. I hope you find this board as helpful as I have.

gracie5107

Lincoln sounds like such an amazing little boy.  I am so sorry for your loss of him.  I hope you can find support for your journey here.  Everyone is so wonderful.