TTCAL Check in

shandorfml2

Welcome to TTCAL CheckIn!

I hope I can find you all well and positive this week! Please don't be shy in asking the PGAL/PAL ladies questions if you have them.

Where are you in your TTCAL journey?

Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming?

QOTW: What helps you cope with anxiety during TTC?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

shandorfml2

Where are you in your TTCAL journey? CD 2... ugh. Cycle 6 since coming off BCP. Started trying for our rainbow 14 months ago.

Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming? Seeing my OB in July.

QOTW: What helps you cope with anxiety during TTC? Ugh. It's hard. You lovely ladies, journaling, writing, talking, walking, distraction

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I'm frustrated. My first reaction when I got AF was anger. Now a bit of sadness. I'm just frustrated. Why is this taking so long? It took me 4 months to get preg with Ana. We've been trying over a year now. I try and remind myself I was not ovulating at that point, and have only had 5 cycles of actually having a shot. So, that's all within "normal" but I've been wanting this for so long now. Damn. Strangley, if I O the same time I did this month (cd 18 I believe) that will be the exact day (June 23rd) I ovulated when I got pregnant with Ana. Whoa. That would give me the same due date that FF gave me. (OB gave me a different date but I believe the FF date since she always measured earlier). So he/she would be born like a week before Ana's second bday. Wew. Talk about bitter sweet. So, I would be happy if I got preg this cycle, but it would also be strange.

bunnybun4

Where are you in your ttcal journey?  cd21 no idea of dpo...

Do you have any relevant appts. upcoming?  nope.

QOTW:  staying busy...entertaining...keeping up with friends...you lovely ladies...wine and cocktails

What's on your mind this week?  yesterday I ran into someone I obviously had not seen in a long time and she said, "now you have a one year old at home now right?"  this has happened a billion times but not recently.  I had gotten really good at it not upsetting me but not yesterday....i went back into my office and tried to hold the tears back for about an hour.  It was so hard.  part of me was just so angry that after those comments I am the one that has to make the other person feel better about asking about it...It's just hard and I want her here with me...and it's not fair.  I am so sick of everyone else getting pregnant too....that is all of my rambling.

mumel16

Where are you in your TTCAL journey? This will be our first month TTC after we lost our son and I'm only on cd4 but already impatient. Going to be a long journey!

Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming? Nope

QOTW: What helps you cope with anxiety during TTC? Long walks. The cemetary where my son is buried is beautiful with a lot of walking paths so we go there a lot, walk and talk. It helps with my anxiety a little.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? That this has been my first week of work since my son passed and it's been one of the more difficult of my life.

Maybe Joleisa

Where are you in your TTCAL journey? I just got the "I'm sorry" call today from my RE that our IVF cycle failed. I knew it for a few days, but they still make you come in for a beta. 

Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming? I'll wait for AF to arrive and then start BCPs for a FET in July sometime, I'd imagine.  

QOTW: What helps you cope with anxiety during TTC? Acupuncture, long walks/bike rides, wine... 

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Disbelief that I am still here trying to have an Earth baby. I used to have a lot of sad feelings due to our infertility issues, but we have IVF to help us with that. Now all of my sad feelings have to do with our losses and I don't feel like I have anything to help fix that. I'm sad. I should be sleepless on maternity leave with 2 baby boys right now. A lot of my friends had or are having their babies and I don't want to see them or meet their babies. That is not me and I hate it. 

bunnybun4

@maybejoleisa - I am so sorry.  Your post broke my heart.  I dont want to see my friends pregnant or meet their babies either.  I just don't understand why it has to be so hard for some people and so easy for others.

shandorfml2

(((Hugs))) ladies. Its just so unfair. I still struggle with pregnant friends. I know people IRL and on the bump who were trying when i started and they already had their rainbows. This makes me really sad and angry.

junebugjam

Where are you in your TTCAL journey? CD 23, first cycle TTC since our loss. My cycles are on the short side, so I should only have to wait a few more days before I know.

Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming? No.

QOTW: What helps you cope with anxiety during TTC? I have an online journal that I vent to. A couple of my friends have access to read it (I revived it from my high school days) so they comment once in awhile and try to keep me sane.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Just wish I knew if I am pregnant or not. I'm not really expecting to be lucky enough to conceive on the first shot, but I know it happens and I find myself looking ahead already to what my due date would be and all that. I know I have to rein myself in so I'm not too horribly disappointed if it doesn't happen. I just hate this whole process.

stefuge

@shandorfml2‌ @Maybe Joleisa‌ - ((hugs)) ladies. I don't have any advice, but I'm so sorry that this is all so hard. @marylaurena‌ - ((hugs)) I absolutely hate the awkward comforting of other people after they say something awkward or rude or when they don't know what to say. Why is that my fault? Why should I apologize because they haven't called and now they feel guilty? Why should I apologize because they just stuck their big foot in their mouth? Ugh. So so sorry you got that dropped on you.

Jellybean71514

Where are you in your TTCAL journey? C3 cd5

Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming? No

QOTW: What helps you cope with anxiety during TTC? Spending time with friends, DF and visiting this board!

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? It's been my first week back at work and all week it's been raining here plus I got AF so all very appropriate I guess for my overall mood- being back at work has been really hard ....I've cried a few times on the bus and once at my desk. Seems I'm thinking more than ever about my little boy but I am trying really hard to keep positive and a smile on my face when I'm in the office- I am also thinking next week we will TTC but really do not want to obsess about it because I feel having a child here with me is all I think about these days .... I know if it is meant to happen it will- I also do not want DF to feel any pressure even though he wants the same. Xo

daffodil428

*****This may be tmi******

 

Where are you in your TTCAL journey? cd 4 cycle 1 post m/c

Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming? Yes I have an appt in 2 weeks for my first consultation with the maternal fetal specialist. I'm excited to go, but I feel like I'm going to hear more of "there's not much we can do"

QOTW: What helps you cope with anxiety during TTC? Deep breaths, bubble baths, talking it out

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Well, I haven't been allowed to have sex with my husband since the end of February/early March as a result of unexplained bleeding when I was pregnant... I am allowed to have protected sex after finishing my first cycle. I am both excited and nervous to be allowed again. I am looking forward to being so close to my husband, but I am fearful that it will be another reminder that the pregnancy is over.

 

AND I'm excited to have found you ladies.. I truly feel like you all "get it", which is something I struggle with IRL.