Refuses to get in car seat- help!

monkeypants23

Ok DD is 2 years old- and wants to do everything on her own- that's fine by me , but when we're rushing to get in the car so I can be on time for work- she's wearing on my patience- she wants to climb up the seat and buckle herself- but she will stand there and dilly dally and not get in- I've tried rewards - "if you get in ill give you a book,doll etc..." I do beat the clock to make it a game, I threaten I'll count to 10 then You have to get it! Nothing works and it ends up in me putting her in the seat- her screaming, arching her back, trying to bite me and me having to physically hold her down and strap her in!! This is ridiculous!! Any suggestions??? Anyone else going thru this?

ashiscute

Nicb13 said:

Sounds like a normal toddler power struggle to me. And a normal toddler that has no concept of what "hurry up" means. They have all the time in the world and don't understand why WE rush.

If you have the time to let her go slow, then let her but if you are in a rush, try to explain that to her, then just stick her in the seat as quickly as you can. I'm all for letting DS do things on his own but sometimes there just isn't time for the world's slowest child to do his thing!

I bet you this is a phase that sucks right now, but will pass like most of the others.

This.  Give her one chance to get in on her own.  I'd count to 5 maybe.  And then do it yourself and tell her she had her chance.  

aurora1974

I agree with PP.  I just had to have back surgery so a couple weeks before that we got her a step stool and started having her climb into the car.  Problem is she wouldn't get in her car seat then.  She'd sit in the regular seat and not move.  She was given one warning and then we just pick her up and put her in her car seat ourselves.  Yes she'd be throwing a fit and trying to hit us but we just kept doing it and telling her the whole time why we were doing it, just to make sure she knew.  It only took a few times of this before she stopped testing us on it.  We never gave her time to play around whether we had the time or not.  We just stayed consistent with it and she figured out quickly that it wasn't any fun for her so why do it. 

Not saying that it will definitely help with your situation since every child is different, but maybe it's worth a try.  Good luck.

monkeypants23

Thank you ladies- this advice helps me know I'm doing the right thing- none of my friends have had this trouble with their kids so wasn't sure of how to go about it- I'm gonna give her to the count of 5 to do it herself and then take over if she doesn't- thanks!

fitmom82

I don't see a 2 year old being able to buckle themselves in the time you count to 5, so I think all you'll be doing is delaying the inevitable.  I think the PP made a good point, whether you had the time to waste or not, be consistent.  I try to avoid screaming at all costs, so I might offer to hold one piece while she does the other, and try to help her along with that, I might also offer a snack or drink she can hold while I'm buckling her, but if she doesn't buy into that I think buckling her from the start is the way to go.  

monkeypants23

fitmom82 said:

I don't see a 2 year old being able to buckle themselves in the time you count to 5, so I think all you'll be doing is delaying the inevitable.  I think the PP made a good point, whether you had the time to waste or not, be consistent.  I try to avoid screaming at all costs, so I might offer to hold one piece while she does the other, and try to help her along with that, I might also offer a snack or drink she can hold while I'm buckling her, but if she doesn't buy into that I think buckling her from the start is the way to go.  

The part about counting to 5 is really just giving her the chance to get in the car seat- because normally she will just stand in the car and not even attempt to get in- so if she's making the effort to get in- I would give her more time to actually get in- But yes I need to be consistent

yeah.

leave 5 minutes early and eliminate the time issue.

junebugrbig

yeah. said:

leave 5 minutes early and eliminate the time issue.

This.  And I give her one chance to get in her seat.  If she dilly dallys, I pick her up and put her in myself.  She gets upset and she gets over it.

monkeypants23

yeah. said:

leave 5 minutes early and eliminate the time issue.

LOL easier said then done- I'm usually running around like a chicken without a head in the mornings

Ceridwen21

DS went through a phase like this when I would pick him up at daycare.  I started off by talking to him about cooperating with mommy in the car as we walked towards the car, just to get him thinking on the right track.  We'd also talk about which song he would get to listen to if he cooperated.

If it was still a struggle to get him buckled in the seat, I would say "that's enough!", and then close the door on him (with him on the inside) and walk away from the car for a few minutes.  This usually would get him very upset, and when I returned he was almost always ready to cooperate.

I followed-through on my "threat" though.  If he didn't cooperate from the get-go, he didn't get to chose his song and had to listen to my boring news talk radio all the way home   Then I would remind him of that the next day and repeat the same steps.  Kicked the habit in about a week.