Thoughts on this babysitter situation?

groovygrl

We have a sitter we have used a couple times who is just finished ninth grade. She lives in our neighborhood and we know her parents though not super well, see them at neighborhood get togetherns and whatnot. She has sat for us a handful of times, is pretty available which is nice and the kids seem to like her a Lot. Our next door neighbor ( a middle schooler) told us she saw her in our front yard last time she sat for us, talking on the phone and then some friends of hers showed up and she was in the front yard talking to them and at some point Ds ran out to the yard in his pajamas so it was after she got them ready to go to bed but they were still awake... I can stop using her and tell her why, I can tell her why and tell her we are willing to use her again on the condition that's he does not have friends come over again or leave the kids in the house like that... We are torn bc we like her and the kids seem to,a nd part of me wonders if most teenagers do stuff like this (and much worse I am sure). If guess I am leaning toward telling her we will use her againont he condition that it doesn't happen again bc we haven't had any other issues with her and feel like she should have the chance to redeem herself but curious about other opinions.

Jills83

I would still use her under the condition that she doesn't do that again.  Tell her that someone told you they saw her out in the yard with friends - but I would not tell her who told you that. 

cecilyandgautam

Are your kids old enough to give a reliable account of whether the sitter ever has friends over?

I'd also take the middle schooler's story with a grain of salt. Yes, ask your sitter was happened, but just like a 9th grader could very plausibly have done this, probably thinking it's no big deal, a 13 year old neighbor might also have lied about it, embellished, or misunderstood something.

groovygrl

Oh I definitely wasn't going to tell her who told me by any means though if they saw each other then I suppose she could jump to a conclusion...I was actually trying to figure out a way to phrase it that would not pinpoint her in anyway. I do wonder if she was only out there a couple minutes and I plan to ask Ds when he gets home. I think they would have told me if friends were in the house and I would have a. Much bigger problem with that than walking out the front door and talking to them for a couple min, esp if the kids were sitting right inside watching a movie or something, they may have been in pjs watching tv for all I know.

snicksnack

how old is your DS could he say if she was out front?  She very well could have had someone walking by to drop some school related off to her and was on the phone explaining where was house was located.  It could have been a matter of minutes.  If your DS is old enough to talk and tell stories correctly I would ask her about it and say he mentioned he went outside in his PJs

groovygrl

He is five and school is out, I am sure it was social but also likely only a couple minutes. He will tell me he basics but the time frame wouldn't be reliable. Good idea to say he said it if he corroborates!

VOR

I'd DEFINITELY ask your son about it.  If he says that yes, it happened, definitely talk to her.  I agree- she may not quite realize what's acceptable and what isn't (although, I too babysat at a young age and would NEVER have thought to do this!).  Help her learn.

Gauge how she responds and then determine if you want to use her again or not.

groovygrl

Both kids confirmed that she went outside but also said it wa a few minutes and that they were watching a tv show in the family room. Soni think I will just say they mentioned it and see what she says and just reiterate that we don't really want other people over when she is watching them.