Grower vs. Show-er... probably TMI

KUGirl09

Hey ladies, this is intended to be a funny discussion to have some fun.  My husband keeps repeating that he is worried that our son will be a "grower" not a "show-er" as he grows up, as he has had to deal with this problem his whole life.  He never realized that there are two types of penises, ones that grow (erection) from attention, and those that just show their size whether or not they have an erection.    It wasn't till I met him that I told him of me and my girlfriends years of "scientific" research on this phenomenon.  He told me that he has been traumatized by his little grower since he was a baby, due to his 2 big brothers teasing him. I guess they were showers, but there was no way for my DH to prove that he was as endowed as his brothers without an erection, so you know how boys can be.

So this can go 2 ways.  First, ladies, how to you explain to a kid (around the time of that first sexuality discussion) that he may be a grower or a shower? I'm all about teaching my kid at a very young age about human sexuality so that there is never any weird mystery about that business.  That's how I was raised, and from the actual scientific research I did in college on human sexuality, I believe that this is a good method for establishing strong emotional intelligence as they grow up.  

Secondly ladies, what are your experiences with this phenomenon?  Have you noticed the grower vs. shower in your sexual experiences?  

chase16

Hah! funny topic. As far as your first question.. Now I'm really thankful I'm not having a boy, because how to deal with this particular topic has never crossed my mind

As far as in my experience? Either one works just as well IMO. I've never been overly concerned with what the penis looks like flaccid, as long as it perks up nicely. Now, I have had a few partners that were neither a grower nor a shower, if you know what I mean.. and that didn't work out so well. lol

Alaska_Bride

I've never heard of this!

Nuclearcupcake

Uhm, I have two sons. If this needs to be discussed I'm totally handing this one off to the husband. I wouldn't even know what to say about that to my boys haha.

jlang12

Ha!  I had never heard of this until recently when my husband mentioned it.  I could not stop laughing when he explained the two types.  I will definitely be handing this discussion over to my husband if we have a boy!

BlckRoses

I have heard of this, but never really paid much attention.  I remember a girlfriend of mine in high school talking about it.  I never really noticed with any of my partners which one they had.  This does make me really happy that I am having a girl and I don't have to deal with this type of conversation.  

BeachM

LOL, I had no idea about this.  I guess I've always been with growers?  I don't know, DH can handle it much like discussions of shrinkage (I figure they'll Google the Seinfeld episode) and everything else that goes on with those things.

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caybeh

DH gets to talk to DS about sex when the time comes. I'll handle our girl. I've only ever had my DH for a partner, so I have really no idea on the difference.

KUGirl09

@Yoginikiki, Basically men that are growers would look like they have a small penis when they are not hard.  Men that are showers would have a larger flacid penis that would be similar in length to the erect penis, so basically it grows in its rigidity and girth more than length.  So, picture that 8 year old boy and his brothers, one which looks like he has a little guy, and 2 big brothers that have larger flacid penises...  Poor little guy.  He might have a complex that he has a little penis for most of his life till he becomes sexually active and can get some feedback.  This was my poor DH's issue.  He waited till he was 21 because he was terrified of the ridicule, but turns out he was just fine all along.  

kaitm22

Apparently I only have experience with a show-er. Hopefully he will turn out like his daddy and this will not have to be discussed. I would not do the discussing for this particular topic anyway, although I plan on being involved in the sex talk.

loulou182

I think they can figure it out for themselves. lol.

andatcdc

I'm married to a black man. Not worries about my boys 'nough said!!! 

I KID, I KID, I KID!!!!! 

I have seen, dealt with both back in my day. I can say until I knew there was such a thing as a grower I would get disappointed on occasion, until full growth. 

I can't imagine talking to my son (or even DH talking to our son) about this topic. We will definitely talk to all of our kids about sex and all those fun things. I guess I hope our children are comfortable enough that if they are embarrassed by anything (being a grower) they could talk to DH or I and we could then try to explain if needed. 

BeachM

I feel like this is one of the reasons Google was invented.  When mine need to know, they can Google it.  And learn oh so many other things at the same time.  LOL!

Raclla

They all look funny.

They're utilitarian.

If it gets the job done, mission accomplished.

Size does matter - doesn't matter if it starts out that size or if it gets that size eventually.  

Scottwswife

Most guys grow, and the ones who show are the ones hired to be, well, "models" shall we say? You'll know early on if your kid is one or the other, and either way, no one but their brother is going to make fun of them for their mast and mates.

teachermommy2014

Not going to lie...nervous about any penis issues if I have a boy! MH will be dealing with all of these discussions (I hope)! 

KittyMisha

I have never personally seen a show-er in real life, although I've seen pictures (and video, and gifs). I only have girls, but this seems like a topic a guy should handle with a boy. If there is no dad in the picture, maybe a trusted uncle or something.

ungraceful13

Not worried about it at this point. If it comes up DH will explain it to him.
I have been with both and have never had a problem with being with a grower.

shaylagirl

Yeah, this isn't a convo DS and I have had.  He's mentioned to DH (who isn't his bio-dad) that he's worried that he doesn't have much to offer in that department, and DH was cool enough to explain to DS that really, it shouldn't matter and he shouldn't worry about it. 

And, yeahhhh....I've always been with growers myself.  Honestly, I think it's kinda cute.  Like a turtle on it's back and it's little head poking out and it's shell's kinda...wiggly?  Floppy?  I dunno.  Makes me giggle a little.

I'm obviously about 4 years old.

herecomesthesun

Aren't most guys growers? Maybe my cross-section is skewed but that's been my experience.

Jentech84

I had to have my H explain this to me! He even had to read the original post to get a better understanding. He didn't know there were terms for it.
He's actually happy that women know about the differences & are concerned for their son's potential future feelings on the matter. He's wishes more media talked about guys being selfconscious about themselves instead of women all the time (Dove commercials, etc) being the only ones with body issues.
You ladies garnered his respect

Jolaine83

My DH is definitely a grower and so is my son. I didn't realize this was a thing. Honestly, I think my son already realizes there is a size change when he plays with it. lol  He refers to it as 'making his penis big'.  

Anyway, there is no way this is a conversation I will be having with my son.  As @Ellbug said, why give him the idea that it's so important when it's really not? Especially since they can't change their size.   If it comes up as a bullying tactic in the locker room, I'll let DH handle it.  I just don't see penis size as quite the same conversation as safe sex and 'keep your hands out of your pants.'  

tamarar5

I'll leave that discussion to DH. He's not shy and no conversation boundaries so, good for him! Besides, I have no real interest in talking about my son's penis. I'll take the vajs, he cram deal with the peckers.

herecomesthesun

cruelsound said:

Aren't most guys growers? Maybe my cross-section is skewed but that's been my experience.

Yeah, erections are usually larger than flaccid penises. But some guys pretty much look like not much is there while soft and then, when they get an erection, suddenly have something pretty substantial.

Yeah, pretty much the guys I've been with are mostly growers so I never thought anything about a flaccid size. Leave it to guys to make that a big deal...