Am I out of line for getting mad/bummed out??

meangieman

Last night when we were out having supper as a family for our anniversary I brought up with DH that I had read an article that made me want another baby even more then I already had and what he said really caught me off guard...without hardly missing a beat he goes "I'm fine with the two we have and don't want anymore" What the heck?!?! I have been trying to ask him how he felt and every time he just replies back with a "I don't know, I guess we will see."  I have been off BCP since September and we haven't been using any protection so for him to just come right out and say that he doesn't want anymore totally threw me off and then when I brought it up he didn't recall saying that and says if he did he didn't mean it.  Sorry for the vent but I just needed a little insight I guess

jnnfrrose6

I'm not sure I'd be mad, but I'd definitely be confused.  If you talked about it later, though, and he says he doesn't recall saying that and he didn't mean it if he did, then I'd be going with that answer.  You can always ask him again and just tell him you're confused and want to be sure you're on the same page for plans for your family.

Helenahhandbasket

Can you just have a one on one conversation with him?  Ask him his feelings on having another baby?

If he's not on board, get back on BCP.

theholmanherd

Kimbus22 said:

I'd be using condoms until he could make up his mind.  Those are two really different answers.  You need to have a real conversation with him, not just dropping the subject into conversation at family dinner with no warning.

This exactly. If he really doesn't want more kids at the end of this, tell him to get a vasectomy. That's what I would do. I would not want to be on birth control menopause. That shit messes you up...well it did for me, so maybe it's different for you.

CallMeShoes

It sounds like you are having some pretty serious communication issues.  "I guess we'll see" does not equal "I do not want more", which also does not equal, "I know my wife is off BC and we're having unprotected sex, so there's a reasonable probably that I may impregnate her in the near future" (which he is saying by virtue of his actions.)

You need to get on the same page immediately, if not sooner.

Saratiff

I would check in with DH and see what is going on with him and his life. How is his job stability? My husband works with start ups and depending on how healthy his job is he is very into the future and talking about kids and so on. If things are shaky at work he gets anxious about the kid topic. Make sure everything is okay and use secondary birth control in the mean team. GL

myatala

In this situation, I would schedule a time with my husband when we could sit down alone and hash things out. Your H needs to clarify his current position and explain why/when he changed his mind. Use contraception in the meantime.

Wine&Cupcakes

How did you get to the point where you were no longer preventing pregnancy? What were his thoughts on that?

I am backing up what many PPs have said - start preventing - adding a child right now, if you were to get pregnant, and after your husband has stated clearly that he doesn't want a child (even after ambigous prior answers) could really harm your marriage.