Need Parenting Advice for baby

theseaword

Sounds like you have that authoritarian parenting style that was discussed on page one. Many posters feel that based on their individual research and experience, that authoritarian parenting is not their style of choice. Myself included. You don't want to hear that your child is normal. You only want advice on how to correct her. Most on here feel correction is not appropriate or warranted, so you won't get what you want from us.

[Deleted User]

OBEY ME, MINIONS.

thebanich

I haven't read all the way through but

TEN MONTH OLD BABIES CANNOT BE DISOBEDIENT. 

pepperedmoth

Banich4eva said:

I haven't read all the way through but

TEN MONTH OLD BABIES CANNOT BE DISOBEDIENT. 

QFT

billybumbler

OP, not sure if you're a troll or just stubborn but here goes.

There's nothing wrong with being a more authoritative parent. That's your call to make on what parenting style you will have. I'm pretty strict myself, more than I anticipated.

But here's the thing: I read up on child development because there's no point trying to teach her something or have her listen to me when she's developmentally not capable of. 

That just leads to frustration which is where you're at. Try to base your expectations on things she's actually capable of.

My DD is just 18 months, but at that age (10 months) I saved no for when she tried to do something really dangerous. Other than that I redirected or gave very simple explanations for consequences ("you threw the food so I'm taking it away").

minervacullen

In regards to what @TyrannosaurusLex‌ said, my kids walked, talked, understood basic commands very early as well. Yes as young as yours, they aren't gifted or extra super smart, they're just them. They still have the emotional maturity of their ages. DS is actually a highly sensitive person. He walked at 8.5m, ran at 9.5, talked early... But he's average academically and once again, it's just who he is.
Please don't compare your DD to other children, even if you think she's so much smarter.

bumpuser794640

All I've learned from this post is that I need to reexamine how I'm responding to my kid, because I've been a little more harsh with him than I ever intended. So, thanks!

CinemaGoddess

I'm really enjoying this inaugural thread of 2015. 

You know who never told her son no?  Hitler's mom.  True story. 

Congrats, OP!

CinemaGoddess

My kids were reading Gilgamesh at 9 months. 

They still listen for shit.  

RondackHiker

I walked at 8 months. 

My mom cried. (My sister wasn't yet 2.)

BluepointToasted

If my kid had started walking at 8 months I may have knocked him down

Manateearmz

Maybe you should trade her in for a "Vicki"? Sounds like that's the only thing that make you happy.

jesuisfatiguee

This has been covered, but fuck "obedience." I was an extremely obedient, people-pleasing child, and grew up with a fear of authority and "getting in trouble" that I struggle with today. My parents stressing obedience (admittedly combined with abuse) set me up for a nasty cycle of abusive relationships and friendships that I am desperately trying to break at this point in my life. 

Obedience. I do not recommend it. Fuck that shit. 

/andecdote

wiggyslilsis

I feel like other posters covered the topic very well already but I just wanted to add that you don't know what those "10 other babies" are like at home. My DD is quiet and reserved and a little more on the anxious side. She is non confrontational. My mom friends have not seen her throw a fit.

But at home she most certainly threw food on the floor. And laughed. And touched things after I told her not to. At home she was comfortable enough to explore and push the boundaries. I used redirection and natural consequences with her.

aglenn

If you are this frustrated with non-compliant behavior at 10 months old, you better buckle up when she starts approaching about 2 1/2.  I have two "strong-willed" ones, and let me tell  you, it gets way  more challenging when they get a little older.

I get that it's annoying, I really do.  I would love it if I could eat a simple meal without a lot of chaos and madness.  But the only way past it is through it, and as others have said you need to have approximately 8,000 tools in your toolbox because sometimes one thing works, sometimes another, and sometimes nothing makes a damn bit of difference and you grit your teeth and wait for bedtime.  This is life with young kids.  It sucks at times, but of course they are also awesome and amazing and so incredibly cool if you can learn to step back and look at their behavior from a positive perspective.  Try to appreciate the things they are exploring and learning, and that they are curious about their world. 

DebateThis

Obedience training is for puppies, not babies. No reasonable parenting or developmental information will tell you that you need to "train" a baby to "obey" or else they're doomed to asshole behavior as five year olds and subsequently adults.

It really sounds like you're approaching parenting from a religious perspective, OP. James Dobson discipline books, the Bible, Michael and Debbie Pearl (To Train Up a Child), and Gary Ezzo/Babywise are not reasonable or based in any developmental research.

MrsLaLaBug

MrsBadKat said:

Would you say your brilliant 10 month old is as stubborn as, say, her mother?

DEAD. Call me a Zombie.