Hopeless

sMithcta

This is baby #2. I'm pretty sure in depressed but I don't see any solutions as it's a result of things I can't change.

I hate my job and my husband has been working a creative field for the past 3 years. It doesn't pay so he's been working a second job, which means he's working 65 hour weeks. He is planning taking a new and hopefully better paying job in a different city. I don't want to move (I would just transfer my job) but we have no other options. I don't look forward to the future and I feel sad that this is my life.

I'm pregnant and feel apathetic towards everything. I'm 17 weeks but haven't seen a doctor since my first appointment moths ago. I just don't care. I know my doctor will push medication but that won't solve the problems of the fact I hate my life...

I don't know how to stop feeling to sad and bleak all the time.

emod10

Take the medication or at least get some therapy.

flcl

I'm sorry you're dealing with so much during a time you should be celebrating baby #2.  You sound like you have a lot on your plate.  Hating your job is a tough thing to deal when you feel like there's no other solution... we spend so much of our time working.  It must be even harder when your DH is gone working all the time.

It sounds like you have an opportunity for some positive changes with your move.  Is DH's new job a for-sure thing?  Moving cities and transferring may be what you need for a fresh start.  

With everything you guys are going through, how you're feeling, baby #2 on the way, I really encourage you to talk to your DH about everything.  Make sure he gets where you are right now and ask him to help you monitor your thoughts and feelings.  I would also encourage you to make that next doctor's appointment and talk about what's going on.  If your Dr suggests meds and you really don't want to go that route, discuss other options, possibly seeing a therapist or counselor.  It's difficult to see that things can be better when you're feeling so down.  Please try to get some help.  You deserve to feel better.  GL.

dancingmatilda

Medication will help you see the good things in life again instead of focusing on the bad. I have felt exactly how you are. My husband works out of town for months at the time which makes me basically a single parent, and to make a long story short he was arrested while out of town so then we had to get through marital and legal issues that came from that... but I know what it's like to look at your life and say how did I get here. I know I would be divorced right now if I hadn't started taking medication. I couldn't see the good in my husband anymore, all I could feel was bitterness and hurt no matter how hard he tried. You will come out of this dark place and life will be better. Talk to your doctor about it not only for yourself but also for your little ones. Hope this helps.

proudtobeazebra

I can absolutely relate to how you're feeling (I have MDD), and I know how when you're feeling that way, even telling someone how you feel is completely overwhelming. If you have people you trust in your life, try and let them know what's going on. They can offer support and help with things like setting up doctor's appointments or therapy appointments until you get out of the place where everything seems hopeless and impossible. Medication may be the best way to go currently because you're feeling so bad, but that doesn't mean that you'll have to be on it forever. I hope this helps a little.