Just a little rant/need advice

monkey&mama

First off let me start by saying I love my son more than anything else in this world and would do anything to keep him happy.

so here it is.. My husband and I recently moved closer to my parents (we were an hour away before) b/c of his new job. We're now about 20 mins. from them. Before we moved my mom would come help one day a week when she got off work early, and be there at 12:30. When we told her we were moving she PROMISED she would be there every day after work to help with my very busy/needy son ( I can't set him down for even 5 mins w/o him crying and he needs me to hold him while he naps -___- )

well when we moved and she realized that with traffic it would take her 25-30 mins to get here, she decided SORRY I'm back to one day a week. My son is 6 months old now and is even busier. My husband is gone for almost 12 hours a day and I'm unable to drive due to an eye condition. Needless to say I'm at my absolute wits end all the time with my sweet boy, and I know he fusses b/c he's bored and yes still needy. BUT I AM SO TIRED and feeling alone...

when I tell my mom this, it's kind like oh well, sorry he's gone so long, but no offer to help. I just don't know what to do and I'm tired of feeling like a single mom with no family!

acjxo

Is it possible to put your son in daycare for one day or even an afternoon? Perhaps a nanny or babysitter? It might help you at least regain some sanity and collect yourself for a few hours.

EVA116

Do you feel like you might have a little bit of post partum?

EVA116

Can you afford to find a helper?

PeanutButterFox

Hire someone if you need the help. Your mom is not obligated to be there any day (even if she promised, she's allowed to change her mind), so you should be thankful for whatever help she's offering.

ETA Also, I'm really sorry you're having a rough time and I hope you're able to find a resolution.

LEMSA

Since school is out, maybe you can find a high school kid who can help in the afternoons. I'm doing that with my cousin a few days a week. Gets her a little money and me a little sanity.

ILoveBoys

What does your husband do that he works almost 60hours a week? Does he work a lot of OT?

That sounds like an awful situation but I agree that while it's frustrating your mom changed her mind, it's not her responsibility. You should talk to your husband and look into suggestions by PP (hiring a helper a couple days a week).

RondackHiker

You need to make some changes yourself to manage things. As other have said, it isn't your mom's job to care for your child. It's nice she comes one day a week and more may be helpful, but it isn't feasible for her right now.

Do you baby-wear at all? It's not for everyone, but it can help give you back your hands. The infantino mei tai and infantino union are cheap options that are comfy for mom and baby. I used to wear DS during one nap while I swept/vacuumed/put away dishes or laundry. Him sleeping and me getting things done helped my sanity.

Like others said, I'd look into ferber for naps. You've got to figure out a way for him to sleep and you to be able to put him down for your own health and sanity. 

If you can afford it, consider a mother's helper a few days a week.

See if you can host a playdate once a week. Talking to other moms will help keep you more sane and hosting means you won't have to drive.

Get outside every day. Go for walks or wear him or sit on a blanket in the yard. It really will help.

Look closely at yourself and consider if you could have PPD. Talk to your doctor if you're concerned.

To take some pressure off you, get yourself a slow cooker if you don't already have one. Prep meals for it when your husband is home or you have help. Then you don't need to fuss about meals.

EVA116

My DS actually got better once he was mobile. He turned into a happy baby because he could go where he wanted and see what he wanted to see.

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