So am I understanding correctly that you WERE trying? And now that you might be pregnant are freaking out?
I'm sure that is more normal than you think. People who are excited and happy about it are just more vocal about their feelings because it seems more "acceptable" I suppose. When I got pregnant w/DD a couple years ago it was a surprise. And I was not exactly happy when I found out. I was scared, a little disappointed because of a few opportunities I had to turn down because of the pregnancy, and just really surprised I guess...but as the reality set in I became more and more excited and in love w/my baby. If I were you, just take the test and get that part over with.
Then you can KNOW you are pregnant and go from there.
What exactly is it you are scared of? You mentioned that you don't like the idea of being pregnant. Is it complications, changes to your body, delivering etc that you are afraid of or more how your life will change after having the baby?
I think on some level it's kind of normal to freak out. Even if you were trying when the reality of it hits you in the face it can be somewhat overwhelming. Will the money be ok? Is my husband and my relationship strong enough? Will I be a good parent? Will it be a hard pregnancy? Anything could be going on. I would talk about it with your husband at the very least. He may be having some of the same feelings and it may be good to bounce things off of each other. Plus your hormones are going nuts right now. It's like going through puberty all over again and you know how crazy that made you (if you were anything like me).
Please don't tell me what to do or how to post. When you post your business on a public website then expect all kinds of responses. The end.
It's normal to be scared. However, if you are as terrified as you describe then rethink TTC. That doesn't mean forever, but maybe for the next 6 months while you figure out what you really want.
FYI you could be "late" & not pregnant. Periods are weird & change once you are off BC then they can (& most likely will) change from what you are used to.
You could have ovulated late (or not at all). The only thing you can do is take a test & get it over with.
When the first line of your post dictates how people should respond, it just makes you look bitchy and judgemental for assuming people here will be dicks. It also make me judge you and not feel helpful at all.
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
It's definitely normal to freak out a little. When I took my pregnancy test with DS, I wasn't excited at all, even though we were TTC. It was more like "Oh shit!". DH and I didn't run around screaming and laughing. But once you find out, you can start dealing with the reality. Give yourself the time to really let it sink in. It might even take several weeks before you really start to feel connected to the baby (maybe longer).
To be fair though, there is a lot of judgment out there. I know there are some nasty people on these boards that just wait for a post like mine to sound off. I just really need support right now so I was trying to minimize the backlash. If you're not feeling helpful, that's fine. No disrespect intended.
To be fair though, there is a lot of judgment out there. I know there are some nasty people on these boards that just wait for a post like mine to sound off. I just really need support right now so I was trying to minimize the backlash. If you're not feeling helpful, that's fine. No disrespect intended.
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Go ahead and test to find out for sure. Not knowing is probably making things worse. That said, even though we were TTC, my first reaction to the positive test was to freak out. DH was doing a happy dance around the house and I was sobbing on the couch lol. I know everyone's thoughts are different, but I was afraid of being pregnant, of the career challenges the pregnancy might pose, and of having a baby for the rest of my life. I quickly settled into it though. I still have occasional freakouts about random things, but I'm happy about it in general. You should go ahead and get a test so you can either stop freaking out if it's a false alarm or have the opportunity to address your feelings directly.
I think it's normal to be a little nervous about actually being pregnant, even if you were TTC. It's a lot of unknowns and that's scary. However, I think once it settles in that scariness turns into excitement. I'm about 6 months and I'm still nervous about what's to come, but I'm thrilled at the same time.
If you have really deep fears and anxiety about pregnancy, talk to someone (professionally). It's bad to be stressed out like that if you are pregnant. If you're not pregnant after all, this is a good chance for you to talk about your concerns and work through what was going through your mind when you thought you might be pregnant.
If you don't want rude and judgemental (and downright nasty) then you should probably stay off the Bump altogether. Sorry you are stressing. Take a test to know for sure and good luck whichever way things go.
@cruelsound I am not sure why adoption is an eye roll? Simply pointing out pregnancy is not the only option to have your own family. The OP said "I've never loved the idea of being pregnant, but I thought "well if you want your own family it's necessary"." Pregnancy is not necessary or the only way to start a family.
D14 - Free For All
In loving memory of Baby HP42 and all D14 Angel Babies
You aren't the only one... I really didn't like babies and was super nervous about having one. I was not excited about trying and figured I'd have plenty of time to warm up to the idea. Wrong, I got pregnant after ONE period. I didn't like being pregnant most of the time because the whole idea was just weird to me. I loooooove my child with a love I didn't even know was possible. I cannot wait to have a second. It's a big step, and a scary one, but totally worth it.
And about the adoption thing... IMO she made it sound like just heading over to the pound to pick up a new puppy. And really, there aren't that many babies just waiting around to be adopted. Older children maybe, foster children yes, but I have quite a few friends on many loooong waiting lists to adopt stateside. Don't even get me started on adopting internationally.
@cruelsound I am not sure why adoption is an eye roll? Simply pointing out pregnancy is not the only option to have your own family. The OP said "I've never loved the idea of being pregnant, but I thought "well if you want your own family it's necessary"." Pregnancy is not necessary or the only way to start a family.
Maybe she thought you were suggesting that OP put the maybe-baby up for adoption? Otherwise, I don't understand either.
Because adoption isn't just an easy fix for someone who doesn't feel like dealing with pregnancy. It can be a long process that is emotionally and financially draining, just like infertility. Yes, it is an option, but you don't just wander down to local orphanage and say oh that one looks nice.
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
I do have an idea on how adoption works considering I was adopted as an infant. My parents then tried to adopt 2 other children (ages 7 and 11) years later. The process was long and it was emotionally stressful because in the end they went to another family (the state felt getting them out of the school district and town they grew up in was a better alternative for them). The lists are long for infants I know that, but I said children.
TTC can be just as stressful and disappointing and not every woman wants to be pregnant.
D14 - Free For All
In loving memory of Baby HP42 and all D14 Angel Babies
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If you aren't fond of being pregnant, adoption might be an option for you. There are plenty of children out there that need loving homes.
Speaking of my eyes rolling...
Just curious...why does this get an eye roll?
ETA: Quote and questioned before reading further... but still. Adoption may be an option for someone who has stated she and her husband want a family, is AMA and is scared (for reasons she hasn't explained) of actually carrying a child. I don't know how the process works, but after a MC and a struggle to conceive again, followed by this very bumpy first tri, I'm weighing my options as well.
Re: .
I think on some level it's kind of normal to freak out. Even if you were trying when the reality of it hits you in the face it can be somewhat overwhelming. Will the money be ok? Is my husband and my relationship strong enough? Will I be a good parent? Will it be a hard pregnancy? Anything could be going on. I would talk about it with your husband at the very least. He may be having some of the same feelings and it may be good to bounce things off of each other. Plus your hormones are going nuts right now. It's like going through puberty all over again and you know how crazy that made you (if you were anything like me).
Good luck
It's normal to be scared. However, if you are as terrified as you describe then rethink TTC. That doesn't mean forever, but maybe for the next 6 months while you figure out what you really want.
FYI you could be "late" & not pregnant. Periods are weird & change once you are off BC then they can (& most likely will) change from what you are used to.
You could have ovulated late (or not at all). The only thing you can do is take a test & get it over with.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
BFP #3 on 7/23/16 EDD 3/30/16
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
SaveSaveSaveSave
And about the adoption thing... IMO she made it sound like just heading over to the pound to pick up a new puppy. And really, there aren't that many babies just waiting around to be adopted. Older children maybe, foster children yes, but I have quite a few friends on many loooong waiting lists to adopt stateside. Don't even get me started on adopting internationally.
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
This has been addressed already. Read the comments.
You beat me to it.