Is my neighbors kid making mine sick? — The Bump
Pre-School

Is my neighbors kid making mine sick?

Is it possible for a child to carry viruses or illnesses, not be sick himself, and still transfer it to my kids? The last 10 times or so that we have played with the neighbors, my oldest ends up with a fever, strep, stomach bug etc. Last time she was sick for 8 weeks!!! And it's 1-3 days after playing with the neighbor kids. Is this possible? Has anyone else had something like this happen or is it just a coincidence? 

Re: Is my neighbors kid making mine sick?

  • I wanted to keep the intro short so I didn't go into many details. I am a huge stickler for hand washing, she hardly every touches her face and we have made a habit of washing when we get home from places, from playing, after toilet etc. She is almost 4 and stays home with me, so no school yet, and we haven't put her in activities yet where she would be around many kids. We didn't see him during the winter at all, and then once spring hit, they played, she got sick. Then my kids were sick for about 8 weeks like I said in the first post, and not 2 days after seeing him she's sick again. I really don't know his parents that well, they swear he "never" gets sick, which is hard to believe. After so many times, I just don't see how it is coincidence. And even though it's summer, there has been a nasty bug sweeping the California coast, in fact my sister was ER sick last week, and we didn't catch that, but now she has something different after playing with the boy.
  • ScarletButlerScarletButler member
    edited June 2014
    And yes I know it's not the same bug because my sister had breathing trouble, a nasty cough and fever, where LO just has a fever and a tummy ache.
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  • Yes, it's possible for someone to carry illness without being ill themselves. It sounds like your kid lives in a bubble, kind of-- and that's common for a lot of kids who haven't started school yet if they don't go to daycare. Because your kids don't get much exposure to germs they are severely infected when they are exposed. So a cold in the neighbor kid could be a severe infection for your kid because of a strong versus a weak immune system.

    I'm not a big stickler about hand washing, playing in dirt, etc. because it's good for the immune system to have some exposure to germs.
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  • ScarletButlerScarletButler member
    edited June 2014
    I'll admit, I have turned into a bit of a germaphobe. The part I was wondering most about is can kids carry without being sick themselves. So that's what made me think it's this kid getting her sick. The kids parents insist that he is not sick though before or after we see them. I will casually mention that "Oh, they (have been) or are sick" and he says his kids are not. My youngest sometimes gets sick and sometimes doesn't. So is that just because my oldest has a weaker immune system? They do the exact same things, and the little one even touches her face all the time, whether I like it or not. She's constantly rubbing her snot nose from allergies, and it gets dirt from her hands all over her face. I am fully not prepared for them to start school, but I will deal with it when the time comes, which luckily is not for another year and a half. 
  • I am not feeling anxiety about it, just wondering why one kid gets super sick and the other doesn't. Even doctors do not have all the answers. 
  • groovygrlgroovygrl member
    edited June 2014
    Likely bc your child has very limited immunity due to lack of being exposed to many bacteria and viruses. Better to get sick now than get slammed when in kindergarten and having to stay home from school. Also some kids immune systems are just different. For example my dd gets every damn stomach but that floats around and has vomited from them quite a number of times over the years. Her twin brother is in the same class and is exposed to all the same stuff and rarely gets he stomach bug at all, in fact has puked one time ever and it was a once and done barely even sick thing.
  • She's been sick plenty. The reason I have been keeping them in the "bubble" is because her second year and a half she was pretty much sick all the time, I would say 8 of 12 months she caught something, whether just a small bug, stomach flu, strep, she was always sick. Then we managed to go almost 9 months without anything. And then we see the kid, she got sick. Got better, see the kid, got sick. So then spent some time not seeing the kid, see the kid, get sick. And it's not like we don't go out shopping and to restaurants and stuff, she's around other people all the time! And other kids at the park, and at the doctor, and we always pick up a new bug at the doctors office, always. But like I said, about 10 different times of seeing this kid, who is in her face and touching her and hugging her, it's just not coincidence. I get that they need the exposure, but the point is if she's gonna definitely catch a bug from playing with him, I just won't let them around each other unless she's already sick.
  •  I get that they need the exposure, but the point is if she's gonna definitely catch a bug from playing with him, I just won't let them around each other unless she's already sick.

    I agree with the others, you had your mind made up before you posted this that it was that kid making your kid sick. You have no way of knowing that it is that kid making yours sick, but whatever because your mind is made up.

    Your last sentence is really shitty though. Here you are so concerned about people making your kid sick, but screw their kid. If your kid is really sick all the time it is time to discuss all this with your doctor.
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  • -auntie- said:
    Little kids get sick.

    Like it's their job to build the immune systems. That said, some parents define "sick" differently- I wouldn't quarantine a kid who had no fever or actively running nose who was at the tail end of a cold but am wary of fevers, rashes and vomiting. IME, FTMs are more freaked out by minor illnesses compared to more experienced parents who can be a little more breezy  because they understand it to be a developmental stage that is typically outgrown by the time they hit kindie if they've been exposed to other kiddos.

    That said, some kids have more robust immune systems. If she's catching some random virus and is "sick" for 8 weeks, either you have a very inclusive definition of illness or she may have some systemic immunity issue- sometimes kids who "catch everything that comes down the pike" have medical conditions that need to be identified and addressed.

    Also, often adults and have different symptoms when children when exposed to the same infection. Most adults don't have GI symptoms with real flu, but kids typically do. Adults don't typically spike high fevers with mild viruses, but kids will.
    All this.  Even moreso now that you've said that your kid ALWAYS catches something at the doctor's office too.  I mean sure - they're filled with sick kids but if your kid is forever catching an illness that has passed within a room of her, I'd be talking to the doctor about that.
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