Question for STMs: when to bring DS#1 to visit?

JustGoWithIt

I am scheduled for a RCS on July 8 at 9am. My DS#1 just turned 4. He's at the age where he asks a LOT of questions, so we've been talking a lot about how the doctor gets the baby out (via CS, so age appropriate discussion).

My original plan was to send him to daycare on the 8th, have nana pick him up from daycare, and have him stay at her house that night, go to daycare on the 9th, and then DH would pick him up after daycare on the 9th & bring him to visit at the hospital. I hope to be recovering well by then, so hope to have DH & DS#1 go home together in the evenings from then until I get home.

My thought was to wait 24hrs or so for DS to visit so I'd be more clear headed, less tubes, etc attached to me, etc. so he wasn't completely freaked out and worried about me (he's asks a lot if it will hurt...). Last night when we were talking he asked if he could come to the doctor with me when they took the baby out.... Since this wasn't my originally plan I told him I would have to talk to DH about it. Obviously he can't be in the room, but is anyone having their first/other child in the waiting room w/family & seeing them immediately after delivery? I don't want him to worry all day, or feel left out, or make things worse by him seeing me unable to move/with tubes, etc.

What is your plan?

krissy3435

I had my 3rd CS at 9:30am last Tuesday. I had the drug Duramorph so I was much more "with it" post surgery than the other times. My parents picked up my 4 and 2.5 year old from daycare (routine is good) and they came to see me about 4pm. I don't remember them asking about the tubes etc. they just knew I had a "big owie" and maybe asked a few benign questions. They didn't seem scared and haven't asked about anything they saw at the hospital since. I had gifts for them, we took a bunch of pics (they stood next to the bed with DH and I held the baby) and then my parents took them home to eat/play. Maybe this helps give you a few ideas. You know your son best so your gut will tell you what is right! GL

byrne15

Ds#1 was 4.5 years old when ds#2 was born.  At the hospital, there is actually a viewing room where a few people can watch.  (They are behind your head so they only see the one side of the curtain).  After the baby is out, they bring it over by the window to clean it up, weigh it, etc.

My mom and ds#1 watched through the window.  After ds#2 was born, my mom took ds#1 to the snack shop for about an hour.  After that they came to the room and hung out for a bit.  (By then I had fed him).  They stayed for awhile and then left for the night.  They came back the next morning.

I plan on doing the same thing with this one as well.

SandFHasse

DD was 1 when DS was born. I had an emergency c section at 11 am. We wanted to wait for DD to come up until we were in our post delivery room, but they didn't have one open so my mom brought her up at 4pm. She got freaked out by the beeping on one ofthe machines, but was so excited to meet her baby brother. As soon as we were moved to the other room she ran around and was fine. I was in for 7 days so she was up there every night.

Veittobe

We dropped DD (almost 3yrs old) off at daycare the morning of my c-section.  We told her I was going to the hospital to have the baby and Grandma would pick her up in the afternoon and bring her to the hospital to see the baby.  We had been talking about it for over a month by this point.  My surgery was at 9 and she arrived around 4pm.  Like PP I had the duramorph and felt pretty good after the c-section.  My first c-section was an emergency CS - that was a whole different story.  I wouldn't have wanted a child there after that one.  I took a much longer time to feel "with it" after that first one.  But this time around, other than taking a while to get the feeling back in my legs, I felt pretty good and LOVED having her there that first day.  I don't think I would have wanted her in the waiting room though - just in case there was a delay or something went wrong, etc.  

capulet

I had DS when DD was four.  I went into labor early, so he was born around midnight, and DD came to visit with DH's family around 11 the next morning.  I'm not sure when she would have visited if I'd had my c/s in the morning as scheduled, but I think she would have visited later in the day.  I probably wouldn't have wanted her (or any of our family) in the waiting room, but I think a visit a few hours after birth would have been fine.

harmonicbabe26

I am still a while away from the final decision but as of now, I don't think I will be bringing DD to the hospital at all. She will be just under 3 so obviously younger thank your LO, she has no interest in babies and wants to be picked up all the time - at least now. I won't be able to to do that, nor stoop down to her etc. don't need the stress at all. She will be totally fine not seeing me for 3 days or so...

JustGoWithIt

Thanks ladies. Helpful to hear what you all did. I think I might play it by ear and tell nana that afternoon how I'm feeling/if DS should come then or the next day.

GummyBear101

I had my 3 1/2 yr old and 1 1/2 yr old visit me 2x while I was at the hospital this week after my CS on Sun AM. I had my daughters visit with my parents after their naps on Sun and it was so nice to see them and have them meet their new littlest sibling. My 3 1/2 yr old asks a ton of questions, too! First question was asking where the baby was to look at her. 2nd question was asking about the IV in my arm. Then why I had bracelets on my other arm. She also asked if my belly hurt since the baby came out. Anyway, lots of questions. I just watched how I answered them and made sure she was comfortable and she was! I'm glad I got to see them day 1 and day 3 :-)

Jefrina79

My daughter is 3 almost 4. My mom will come stay with her while we leave for the hospital, I have to be there at 5 am and scheduled at 7:30. My plan is for my mom to bring her up there as soon as I am out of recovery and in a regular room.

Soon2BMrsN

I think your original plan sounds best, OP. We may not have the older kids visit in the hospital this time, mostly because it's a 45 minute drive one way and because I hope to be home ~48 hours post-delivery.

lilies&orchids

My older son was 5.5, I had an unplanned c-sec at noon and he came to the hospital in the afternoon around 4p. But we had been away from him all night and he was very excited about seeing the baby. He did a kids hospital tour too, so he kind of knew what to expect as far as me being hooked up to IV or monitors. He was totally fine and just excited about being a big bro and getting snacks fom the vending machine.

I think your plan sounds good, play it by ear and see how you feel. Good luck with everything!

reb84

My RCS is scheduled for July 25 and DD will go to daycare that day.  My mom comes to town on the 22nd and will be the one staying with DD the night of the 25th. 

Once I'm in the recovery room either my mom or DH will go get DD (her daycare is less than a mile from the hospital) and bring her over.  I figure she'll hang out as long as a 2 year old can, then grandma will take her home.  DH and grandma will take turns at home and the hospital, DD will get to see us lots. 

krazyinsane

For both the last two RCS I've requested (and gotten) the earliest slot in the day so DH calls whoever is watching big sisters after we're in Recovery and has them head up to the hospital (when DD#3 was born DD#1 was 3.5).

This time however due to DH's work we're trying for the latest appt. So I will drop the girls off at my mom's and meet DH at the hospital (he works there now). And have the girls all come up first thing the following morning. DD#1 wasn't a fan of seeing me so loopy last time and it will likely be about dinner time when they can come up... So this works better this time.

I think it all depends on you, YH And your son.