TTC

Nlk711

Hello,
My husband and I have been TTC for 14 months now. I have an irregular period, so the doctor says that it is stemming from that. We are starting testing now, but she told me this could take 5-6 years. We are/have been ready for over a year. It's so depressing to me and they say stressing doesn't help at all, but how can you not stress. Everyone around me is pregnant, which I am happy for them, but I still selfishly get so upset. Just looking for some support of others going through the same thing.
Karissa

gsancho

5-6 years??  Where did he get that from?  Yes, some people can struggle as they TTC for that long, but just because you are starting fertility testing does not at all mean it will autoatically take that long!  

I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation - it sucks!  You can also find support and info on the Trouble TTC board, where more ladies are still in the testing process and going through IUI.  More people on this board did the testing a while back and are in the IVF phase.  Good luck!

Twinkie0612

Karissaw1987 said:

Hello,
My husband and I have been TTC for 14 months now. I have an irregular period, so the doctor says that it is stemming from that. We are starting testing now, but she told me this could take 5-6 years. We are/have been ready for over a year. It's so depressing to me and they say stressing doesn't help at all, but how can you not stress. Everyone around me is pregnant, which I am happy for them, but I still selfishly get so upset. Just looking for some support of others going through the same thing.
Karissa

I have never had a doctor tell me it can take 5 or 6 years. I am going to guess that you were talking to your OB/GYN? My advice is to find a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) they specialize in treating infertility, unlinke an OB/GYN that specializes in caring for pregnant women and general gynological health.

airidh80

Karissaw1987 said:

Hello,
My husband and I have been TTC for 14 months now. I have an irregular period, so the doctor says that it is stemming from that. We are starting testing now, but she told me this could take 5-6 years. We are/have been ready for over a year. It's so depressing to me and they say stressing doesn't help at all, but how can you not stress. Everyone around me is pregnant, which I am happy for them, but I still selfishly get so upset. Just looking for some support of others going through the same thing.
Karissa

5-6 years?? This is a ridiculous statement. To be clear, there are plenty of couples who DO spend multiple years TTC, even with proper treatment, but for an OB to just blurt that out as the standard seems bizarre to me.

I second/third the recommendation that you see an RE, if you're not already doing so. OB-GYNs are not properly trained in reproductive endocrinology. See someone who is. 

AMShark

Welcome.  My least favorite piece of unsolicited advice is to relax. As if I could - and as if that is really the only thing keeping me from birthing my own large brood of children.  Oh yeah thanks - Let me just get a cup of sleepytime tea, my fluffy slippers and a trashy magazine, and I'll see you in the delivery room in 9 months.  Ok-thanks-bye.

Don't beat yourself up or say that you're feelings are selfish.  We've all been there, and it's ok to feel your own loss, while still feeling joy for others.  There's no reason to feel guilty about your emotions - they're your emotions, and they're natural, and I am telling you - It's OK.

As far as the 5-6 year prediction, I agree with the other ladies who have posted.  That seems to be an extremely conservative estimate for someone without any particular diagnosis.  Especially if your biggest obstacle is an irregular cycle.  I would think that you can control that with medicine - such as an ovulation trigger (like Ovidrel).

Echoing previous posts, I would also recommend a 2nd opinion.  Seek out an RE if you have not already done so.  

Welcome, again.  I hope your stay here is short.

Nlk711

Thank you so much. that's why I came here, for people who understand where I'm coming from. Yes, i saw my OB and we were giving me a hormone to jump start my periods and have some testing done. I have not taken the pills yet, because I did start my own cycle last week, but it was only a 3 day cycle, and I was not able to go get the blood work taken. So I figured I would try and see if I get my next cycle and if not I'll take the pills. I don't want to take them now, since I did have a cycle. I'm afraid of playing with my hormones too much.
Again, thanks for the support.

ikrystal

Karissaw1987 said:

Thank you so much. that's why I came here, for people who understand where I'm coming from. Yes, i saw my OB and we were giving me a hormone to jump start my periods and have some testing done. I have not taken the pills yet, because I did start my own cycle last week, but it was only a 3 day cycle, and I was not able to go get the blood work taken. So I figured I would try and see if I get my next cycle and if not I'll take the pills. I don't want to take them now, since I did have a cycle. I'm afraid of playing with my hormones too much.
Again, thanks for the support.

I understand being scared of playing with hormones.  I would still suggest seeing an RE, though.  They will be able to do tests that your OB cannot do.  I went through a year of infertility with two different OBs, only to have to see an RE in the end who was able to give me way more answers than either OB ever could.  You won't necessarily have to jump into the deep end with medication if you don't want to, but I bet that the testing will go smoother.  Whatever you decide, best of luck to you.

gnl42

I agree - even if you are not ready to jump to medical treatments, I would strongly consider seeing an RE for an initial evaluation, work-up, etc if you do want to get pregnant soon. Trust us, we have been through it. I know it can be tempting to stay with the Ob/Gyn that you already know, but an RE is better qualified to do the testing, figure out a diagnosis, and potentially fix the problem. It can save you a lot of time and frustration in the end. Good luck! 

przemosbabe

I don't understand the 5/6 years....for testing? I went in for my first infertility testing and one month later it was all done as well as a lap surgery to check for endo. Even if you have pcos or really long cycles your testing won't take 5/6 years. Is your doctor talking about 5/6 years before you have a baby? If you get help, it hopefully won't take that long. I wish you the best.

Aimothy

If there is one thing I could go back and change about our journey, it was sticking with our OB for longer than I should have.  Going to the RE was the best choice that we made. We are still waiting four years later, so it's possible that it is going to be 5/6 years for us to get a baby, but I can't imagine having someone give that "devastating" statistic when we first learned we had issues getting pregnant.