Is it wrong...

chubspearl

Is it wrong that I am sad even though my sister had a baby yesterday? I am super excited for her and grateful that everyone is healthy, however I cannot help being sad for myself. My husband and I have been TTC for 2 1/2 years. I have been on three rounds of clomid, three of Femara, and 1 IUI and still nothing. I am thinking that the experience my sister and millions of other women go through of becoming a mother will never happen for me. I never knew getting pregnant would be so difficult. The wave of emotions of TTC and the emotions of having to deal with hearing other people telling you they are pregnant and meeting their newborn is a lot. Anyone else going through or has gone through this situation? 

Erma81

Oh dear! It is SO normal! You're not evil, mean or bad. You're human, and you're going through something difficult, that's all. As you wrote, you are happy for your sister, but it is possible to be sad for oneself at the same time. It is such a brutal reminder of what you long for and work hard to get, a thing that comes so easily to others. I know those feelings may feel contradictory, but I see them as the two different sides of one medal. I've had those feelings too, I still do from time to time. You're not a horrible person, you're simply hurting, and that is quite normal. Take care of yourself.

ChristieH917

It isn't wrong.  I love all 6 of my nieces and nephews.  Only the oldest one was born prior to my IF issues.  I have felt exactly as you feel for all of the others.  As I am very happy for my brothers, I am very sad for myself.  I show my happiness to them and then cry in a corner alone.  {{{HUGS}}}

Spring78

Absolutely. You are not alone. Sending *hugs* your way.

my DH & I had been trying for a while when my little brother & his wife (who is nearly 10 years younger than I am) announced they were pregnant "without even really trying." It actually hurt to watch her pregnancy progress. Don't get me wrong, I adore my now 18 month old niece... But that sadness that it has not happened for us is always there.

So sorry you are going through this.

Hernsy

Don't you worry a bit. What you're feeling is so normal. Between my friends with all their children & seven nieces & nephews I have that feeling all the time. Even when I'm cuddling those sweet children who are so excited to see me, there is sometimes a shadow for what I so desperately want.

Nlk711

Not wrong at all. I am dealing with the same thing with a family member. You are happy for them, but can't help but be so sad that it is not you.
Hugs to you!

sweetpotato123

This is so normal and not wrong at all. Be gentle with yourself. Sending hugs.

Erma81

Hernsy said: "Don't you worry a bit. What you're feeling is so normal. Between my friends with all their children & seven nieces & nephews I have that feeling all the time. Even when I'm cuddling those sweet children who are so excited to see me, there is sometimes a shadow for what I so desperately want."

This is exactly like that for me too!! 

chubspearl

Thank you everyone for your support and kind words. I thought I would not take this so hard. It took me two months to call her once I found out she was pregnant. I had a breakdown the night before her shower and now this. I hope this doesn't happen everytime

ikrystal

You are not alone.  We've been through a lot of pregnancy announcements, baby showers, and upcoming due dates... and it never gets easier.  You are having normal feelings, and you are entitled to them.  Hugs to you. 

babycakestx

Hugs. It's completely fine to feel happy and sad. Allow yourself to feel the emotions whatever they are. I just recently had to congratulate my nephew on his newborn. We are super close and I had the same mixed emotions as you. BUT March on to your dream!

Aimothy

Totally normal.  I think the worst part of the IF journey for me has been the guilt I feel between the feelings I have over pregnancy announcments/birth and how I know it's making my friends and family feel.  It's not about them at all, but there's no way to reassure them of that because of the course my actions need to take in order to protect my heart. 

Hang in there! There's people that do understand what you're feeling. And we're hear to listen. 

przemosbabe

It's not wrong to be sad for yourself. We all are I think.

emmuffy

It's impossible not to be sad for yourself, even when you know you are happy for your friend/relative. What you're feeling is something we've all experienced.

BellaLux

Your feelings are 100% normal, be kind to yourself