sister separating. looking for advice.

juliad2010

Hi ladies,

I'm looking for some advice please.
Quick background info: my sister recently decided to separate from her husband. They have a young daughter together. Never great relationship from day one. No infidelity, but past trust issues, both feeling ignored or not appreciated.

Since the news of the separation my sis has been very distant. Not replying to majority of calls or texts and cancelling plans to visit. I realize that she's going through a lot; she's separating, a mum, working, etc... she says she's looking forward to living closer - will be moving much closer to my town.

I guess my questions are:
did you feel as if you needed distance from family or friends at the start of your separation?
What can I do or say that would help?
what should I NOT do or say in this situation?

All I want is for my sister and niece to be happy.

Thanks in advance.

jellybean529

At the beginning of mine, I wanted to shout from the rooftops about how much of an ass my ex is. But, each person has their own way of dealing. I also went through a phase after that initial burst of energy when I wanted everyone to just leave me alone.

MinnesotaMomma91

What the others said. Let your sister be. Shes probablt dealing in her own way. Let her do what she needs to do and let her know your always willing to listen

juliad2010

Thanks ladies. I have told her I just want her to be happy - however that may look. She knows I'm here.
just didn't want her to feel as though I'm abondoning her.
But you are all right, I bet right now she's so wrapped up in logistics and getting her and my niece out of the marital home she doesn't have much time or energy.

MinnesotaMomma91

Yes, between moving, court, mediation she might just be to busy. While going through seperation ad divorce i was just to busy and numb to be sad. Due note my situation was much different.

freeatlast2014

Maybe offer to come pick up your niece and take her out so your sister has some time to herself without having to worry about her daughter. But offer to go there so she doesn't have to spend time coming to you. I wish my family did this.

juliad2010

Thanks again ladies.

@MinnesotaMomma91‌ I am/was surprised that my sis isn't more upset, but am thinking maybe she is numb. Perhaps too much going on to deal with all the emotional side.

@MrsLynnyD‌ that's a good idea to offer to go there and take my niece out without her. She's still in marital home which is about 4 hours away. If it helps her I'd enjoy driving there with my lo and taking my niece out so she can relax or get things done.

MinnesotaMomma91

I was numb in my seperation/divorce. There had been abuse that just made me numb to the situation. I also had court for the restraining order and wasnt a parent yet and used alcohol as a coping mechinism.

juliad2010

@MinnesotaMomma91‌ I'm sorry you went through that.
Thanks for the words of wisdom on how to help my sister.

MinnesotaMomma91

You live and you learn. Im now dating a wonderful man who loves me and my son and hes my one