WWYD about this sleep situation?

meli1025

I really never wanted to bed share, and with DS1 he was in his crib by two weeks. When this DS came home we started out in the co-sleeper, same as we did with DS1, but he is just never content unless he's right next to me or laying on my chest. I've been spoiling him so I can get some sleep because if not, we will be up every hour or two and it's not because he's hungry. When he lays next to me we get 4 hour stretches of sleep. During the day he's hardly fussy, happy as can be but at night he just has to be held. Please tell me what I'm setting myself up for? How will I break this cycle? Any bed sharers have advice on how and when to try and stop this? DH has not slept in our bed since DS2 was born because he can't afford for us to keep him up all night since he handles DS1 in the morning and goes to work early, plus i clear a huge part of the bed to sleep together safely. I just want a normal sleep arrangement with this little man in his crib and my main man back in bed with me! For those on mobile, DS2 will be 5 weeks tomorrow. Who has the magic solution?

SurprisePartySue

^ this! Except now dd won't let me out her down during the day.

No advise but I need some.

bossyferg

No magic solution here but we didnthis with out DD 2 years ago and still cant break habit of her wanting me to sleep with her. We got her out of our bed at 18 monthd but then i had to sleep with her lots on and off all night. It is so exhausting. I would try to avoid that habit and for this LO i will be doing this differently. Best of luck and hope your sleeping arrangements work out better then mine!

usernewname

I understand where your coming from.

I was totally against bed sharing, but in the AM its been so nice to bring DS into bed, lie down and feed him and we all sleep peacefully for a couple of hours.

But DH is right, it isn't safe and a bad habit to create as we don't want an older child in our bed. But then I counter with me holding him in the recliner is no safer and I've been doing it since he came home until the past week he will now sleep in his basket all night. Which is nice, as I can sleep in my bed again. And luckily I can soothe him in between feedings without getting out of bed.

Sigh. I guess it depends on what you want in terms of the future. I personally don't want DS in my bed when he's older, so I'm trying to stop the habit now. However, on the flip side I don't mind the mornings only, and I wouldn't mind my toddler coming into my bed when the sun is up for snuggles and sleeping in. And these snuggles now are just so wonderful.

So ... yeah. Do what you feel is right, but keep in mind what you expect for the future. We will figure it out in the meantime. As for right now, its about getting some sleep.

meli1025

Thanks for your replies! I keep saying that I will just do this for now and looking into the future I definitely don't want him in bed with us all night, so I have to figure out a way to avoid this soon. Maybe I will give myself until the 6 week mark to start really trying. For now I keep living in the moment just so I can get some decent sleep. And by decent I mean at least 3 straight hours! Perhaps I will try swaddling again,,,,he didn't like it at first but maybe he will now. Good luck to us all!

gypsymystic

I have the same problem. :P DS1 always slept on his own, in a crib. This little guy is determined to only sleep soundly if he is next to me on on my chest. I did not BF with my first and H and I took turns waking to bottle feed. I wonder if that has something to do with it. I am also petrified of sharing the bed with LO, and H can't sleep next to me when I do because I clear the bed and keep the lamp on to make sure I can see baby and check on him through the night because I am so paranoid about it. I can't sleep otherwise though...

IBackBevo

We started ds1 out in the rnp which was horrible to break him of. We ended up transitioning him to bed sharing about 1 to get him out of the rnp. Then we recently transitioned to his own crib at 20 months. That was actually easier than getting him out of the rnp.

spinsoffresonance

DD1 was exactly like that. I totally could have written this post. We started off with her sleeping on my chest, then by week 3 she was in the bed and by week 10 she was in the cosleeper. I just tried to put her a little farther away from me in bed every night, until I got her into the cosleeper. Once she was out of the bed DH came back. DD1 stayed in the cosleeper for 8m then moved to the crib in her own room.

DD2 is 3w and is sleeping in bed with me as I write this. DH is here too snoring but he sleeps on the other side of me. I'm giving myself another 2-3w before starting the transition to the cosleeper. She does sleep in the cosleeper 7am-9am while I get up with DD1.

meli1025

Azlebella said:

I have the same problem. :P DS1 always slept on his own, in a crib. This little guy is determined to only sleep soundly if he is next to me on on my chest. I did not BF with my first and H and I took turns waking to bottle feed. I wonder if that has something to do with it. I am also petrified of sharing the bed with LO, and H can't sleep next to me when I do because I clear the bed and keep the lamp on to make sure I can see baby and check on him through the night because I am so paranoid about it. I can't sleep otherwise though...

We've been sleeping with a little light on as well and because I'm scared too, I have a hard time sleeping. I feel like I'm always sleeping with one eye opened to make sure he doesn't mush his face into our mattress! I'm glad to know I'm not alone though, hopefully we can get past this phase soon.