At what point do you call it quits? — The Bump
Secondary IF

At what point do you call it quits?

My husband and I have been TTC #2 for 20 months now. We have been trying since my 1st post-partum check after having our son. Since then, I have had 2 miscarriages. I have had 2 IUIs. The first IUI resulted in a pregnancy but ended in a mmc at 11 weeks 2 days. I just had another IUI that appears to have failed after I had to wait for my cycle to return after the miscarriage (which took forever and had to be induced by Provera). Now my husband and I are planning a consult with the RE on the next step next week. Not sure if trying more Clomid, injectables or Femara would help. Financially, this is all getting so costly and we can't even do IVF because of the cost. Guess I don't know where to go from here. Time is not on my side either....I'm about to be 39 in a couple months. :(

Re: At what point do you call it quits?

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  • I'm so sorry for your losses. :(  I can't speak for everyone but I know I've thought several times about throwing in the towel. We have completely ruled out IVF as well b/c of cost. I set an evaluation date. If we are still doing this New Years 2015 (2 years total) we will step back and see if we want to continue treatments. It sort of gives me an end point to have in mind. It's not really an end but at least a designated time to step back and re-evaluate.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    TTC #2 since 1/1/13

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  • MrsAtchMrsAtch member
    I will say enough when our money runs out, we reach the end of the line with surgery and my body, my husband says no more, or I get to the point where the heartache of continuing to try outweighs the heartache of not trying. 
    After two losses, a rainbow arrived! DD born 11.5.11
    Dx with severe Asherman's syndrome after a botched PP D&C (pursuing med mal)
    Hysteroscopy Oct '13, not enough progress 
    Hysteroscopy Jan '14, given an end-of-the-road diagnosis
    Joined International Asherman's Association April '14 
    Not ready to give up yet.
    Hysteroscopy with Dr. Isaacson (an expert in the USA) 6.2.14: Good prognosis, at least 50% of cavity open.
    Repeat hysteroscopy scheduled with Dr. I on 6.16.14. Great progress. Unbenched!!!!
    Discussing actively TTC with DH after the heartache of the last year. We're both reeling.
    Please, please, please. 
  • I've set a rough deadline of the last cycle that would give us a 2015 baby. My new RE says the aim is for 9 months from first seeing him but we're out a few cycles for various reasons (trips, unrelated surgery, etc.), I've given a little buffer. 

    My original deadline was my birthday this year but with seeing this RE and my family doctor who is optimistic, I decided that we'd give it a bit more time. A large reason for me is the age gap for siblings. They will be minimum 5 years apart, not more than 6 this way. We're really enjoying our son now at 4 years old and it's allowing us to do so much with him and ourselves. I don't want to extend that to be much more. He's growing up so well and so quickly and while I want more kids, the baby stage was never a thrill for me.

    Me: 32, DH: 33
    DS #1: April 2010
    DS #2: July 2015 (preemie born at 31 weeks) - our little miracle conceived through ART - unexplained secondary infertility/adenomyosis
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  • ^i joke I have needle PTSD. This is our 3rd cycle in seven months. It gets hard, but I think this says it best:
    MrsAtch said:

    or I get to the point where the heartache of continuing to try outweighs the heartache of not trying. 

    January 2007- Stop BCP! Let's DO this!
    June 2010- MFI. BS. IVF! Ectopic. BS. image

    November 2010- FAILED FET! BS!
    January 2011- BFP FET! TWINS!
    February 2011- lost twin. BS. image

    SEPTEMBER 2011- DD Born! Most awesome girl in the world!

    November 2013- FAILED FET! BS! (screw you November FETs)
    April Fresh Cycle, FAILED. Frozen embryos frozen for future FETs.


    We can't wait to meet you!
    Conception:imageimageimage Potato Love!

    BabyFruit Ticker

  • I have thrown in the towel, but not really meant it, a few times.

    It is a tough and very personal decision.

    I do not think DH can take it much longer in our case, he hates how our cycling brings attention to his dx and my issues are worsening fast.

    And $$$$ is just flying away with each OOP IVF.

    I am too scared to say I am definitely done though after this 4th fresh IVF.
    H: 34 dx Azoospermia due to CBAVD from CF  
    ME: 39 IS FINE!!!  DOR and poor AMH/FSH/LH
    IVF/ICSI/PESA #1 Beta 1 373 Beta 2 1783 BOY/GIRL TWINS!! Born April 2010!!
    Natural FET 5/26/12 2 blasts Beta 1 207 Beta 2 513 Beta 3 1377 U/S 6/28 Pregnancy not viable d & c scheduled :( 
    IVF/ICSI/PESA #2 ER 11/15/12 Nothing to transfer :( 
    IVF/ICSI #3 April 2013 MDLF 3dt of 3 embryos, chemical :(  
    IVF #4/ICSI/MESA/CCS/FET EPP April 2015
    ODWU CCRM with Dr. Sch COMPLETE!!!! Put on acai supplement they are studying for DOR and embryo quality.
    DAY 3 Labs Drawn 2/26 put on vitamin D and calcium supplements
    Regroup and Protocol Reveal 3/04 "Bazooka Protocol" EPP with MDLF "Protocol 6 with patches"
    ER/MESA 4/10 ER 9 eggs retrieved MESA success found live swimmers :)
    Fertilization Report 6 eggs mature and ICSI'd 4 eggs fertilized normally
    Day 6 Report to Blast for CCS 4/16: 2 DAY 5 BLASTS BIOPSIED FOR CCS a 4AB and a 3AB!!!!
    CCS Results BOTH BLASTS CCS NORMAL!!!!!!  call on 4/24
    Regroup call to discuss CCS results and FET call on 5/20
    FET prep: CD 1 6/08 CD 3 Start BCP 6/10, HSG 6/12 Lupron Start 10 iu 6/17 End BCP 6/21 CD 1 6/23!!!
    Start vivelle patches 6/25 change e/o/d reduce Lupron to 5iu 6/25 Blood Draw 7/01, 7/08, 7/15, 7/19
    Increase vivelle patches 7/03 2 change e/o/d and 7/05 change e/o/d 3 and 7/07 4 change e/o/d add vaginal estrace 2x a day
    Lining Check/Blood Draw 7/08 and 7/15 End Lupron 7/18  Start PIO 1ml daily 7/18  Blood  Draw 7/19
    Flight to clinic 7/22
    FET 2 CCS BLASTS :):)  7/23 :):) YES YES both thawed and both fully expanded :):)
    7/26 :):) 3dp5dt PM very very faint positive FRER
    7/27: 4dp5dt Neg Digi AM but very very faint positive FRER PM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 1-2 :):) 
    7/31:8dp5dt AM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 2-3!!!! :):) 
    Beta 1 8/01= 408!!!!!!!!!! at 9dp5dt FET
    Beta 2 8/03 = 1014!!!!!!!!!! at 11dp5dt FET
    8/05/2015 AM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 3+!!!! :):) 
    First Ultrasound: 8/20!!!!!! TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Genetics says BOTH BOYS!!!!!!!!!
    Second Ultrasound: 9/03!!!!!!!!!!


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