Opinion on porn watching.

chicorojo

I am so super bored today. And after a conversation I had yesterday I wanted to know ya'lls opinion on your DH, FI, or SO watching porn. Is it a total no no or are you the type that doesn't mind. I'm the type that doesn't mind, however my friend won't "allow it" she also blocked the E channel when The Girls Next Door still aired, and her DH isn't allowed to view The Chive and she hides her victorias secret magazines. I don't really care , but she made the comment yesterday that he wouldn't be surprised if DH cheated on me since I am letting him have temptation. It was sooooo off the wall, so whats you guys opinion yay or nay to porn.?

chicorojo

richardsj2 said:

Also, I wonder if your friend has ever considered that her taboo attitude may in fact increase her hubs desire to watch it? I mean... hiding her Victoria's Secret magazines???

Ya know, I've really wondered this myself. It is none of my business so I don't usually share my opinions with her but I was this close yesterday when she said DH was going to cheat on me.

Saintelizabeth

No offensive to your friend, but approach sounds kinda batsh*t crazy. I don't know if and when DH watches porn, but if he does - more power to him.

PacoCat33

I am more than fine with it. I think masturbating makes a happy marriage. It takes the pressure off and helps you remember what you like/want.

Your friend sounds insane. Does her DH have a phone?? I'm sure the porn on the internet is way more satisfying than the E channel/ Victoria Secret Magazines...that is so weird! Is he a 13 year old boy????

Edit- spelling.

FoxiePM

He can do whatever the hell he wants to do with his eyes. It's his hands and peen that are off limits.

He watches crazy stuff that isn't even a turn on for him. Weird stuff that makes me wonder sometimes.....weirdo!

chicorojo

Welp, I've caught DH masturbating before and it's hilarious we both froze it was so awkward. But at the same time I think as long as it is not an addiction it can be very healthy. Especially now that its been a bazillion weeks since we had sex haha!

Cryssteen

I totally don't care, as long as he's not bothering me.   

MauraLou25

DH is free to watch whatever he wants; however, when I'm bloated and feel like a huge pregnant cow and cry because "I'm just not pretty anymore" (happened in my third tri with DS big time), then he's smart enough to not let me know about it.

goatlady12

OMG, my sex drive is nothing right now.  When DH crawls into bed and pokes me in the back at 11 pm, I tell him to go jerk it.  11 is way too late to start frisky business when I have to be up in the morning.  Sleep is so precious since getting KU.  Porn lets me sleep, have at it DH, jerk away!

 

Eora3

Wow! Does she think she is his mom? Her behavior is extremely controlling and totally disrespectful. What if he started telling her how she was allowed to dress and who she was allowed to talk to?

Frankly, I do not see a relationship like that lasting long term. She obviously doesn't trust him at all and he is going to get sick of her crazy shit.

Porn is cool with me. He can watch it if he wants to. I like mine in book form.

cwbh928

Luckily my DH is not really into the whole porn scene.  I am sure before I met him and even while we were dating he played around with it, but what man hasn't.  However, the man is 32 not 15 so I am quite glad that he choses not to look at porn.  My husband looks at in more in a respectful point of view.  He knows that he can look but he knows how demoralizing it is and I think now that he has a wife he realizes how it can potential cause issues and hurt.  I personally do not care for it - but I am also not going to micro manange him!

Besides - he knows that I am more than generous when it comes to bedroom - even during this pregnancy and I don't think he would do anything to jeopardize that!  lol

However in regards to your friend - definitely a little crazy in her thought process!

kz's_girlygirl

I love porn, DH loves porn- the kinkier the better! Either of us can watch it whenever we want. I'm not about to start trying to control him- we both choose to be monogamous, we aren't forcing it on each other.

IMO, porn will does not make a person cheat. That just sounds ridiculous.

AllTheTeaInChina

richardsj2 said:

Your friend sounds cray cray! My DH doesn't watch porn on his own; I just don't think he's interested. We watch it together though... usually at my request lol.

We watch it together too but haven't in awhile. We bought a couple videos at a sex shop.

A few years ago our house was broken into and one was stolen. We were the last house they hit before getting caught. All the victims were invited to the police station to recover their stolen property and there was the video on the table with mostly jewelry. Some people were laughing about it and I didn't have the balls to claim it.

JaymeeLH

kz's_girlygirl said:

I love porn, DH loves porn- the kinkier the better! Either of us can watch it whenever we want. I'm not about to start trying to control him- we both choose to be monogamous, we aren't forcing it on each other.

IMO, porn will does not make a person cheat. That just sounds ridiculous.

FI and I watch porn together, rarely do either of us watch it independently. But quite honestly if he wants to watch it doesn't bother me, he knows he gets what he wants from me and prior to getting KU he pretty much got it whenever he wanted lol

And ditto @kz's_girlygirl‌ the kinkier the better!

blessdtxas

gradschoolmom1234 said:

Yepp, I agree, your friend sounds cray cray. While I think there are huge moral questions regarding the porn industry and how it operates, I don't see anything inherently wrong with porn as part of a healthy/consensual/adult relationship. And, I suspect that demonizing something to that extent actually serves to make that thing more desirable (as someone else said), as well as showing an astounding lack of trust. 

Beyond that - I hate that dynamic between a husband and wife, in which the wife is somehow the keeper of the husband. It is not a wife's job to keep her husband away from temptation, it is each persons responsibility to do that for themselves - if a man feels that porn makes him "tempted" then he should (obviously) stay away, but he's an adult and should have the agency and responsibility to determine that himself! 

Agree with this! This is a sensitive subject for me that I feel strongly about:

My husband struggled with a porn addition for years.  I tried for a long time to be his keeper and it destroyed our relationship. I hated him because he couldn't stop. It made me crazy. I suffered from an eating disorder as a teen and young adult, and his issue made my body image issues come back after years of recovery. I felt like it was because I wasn't pretty enough or had the right body. We were both pretty messed up in that time in our lives.

As a Chrisitan, I feel that only God can change people's hearts and gave it all over to him. Once I did that, everything changed for me. I had a lot of my own issues I needed to work out instead of trying to change my husband. My DH sought counseling on his own which revealed a lot of skeletons that I had no idea about (after 6 years of knowing each other).

I am definitely not for porn in my house, only because I know the toll it took on my husband and our relationship. With all of that said, we both love sex and enjoy it even more now that porn is not in the picture.

MaineMama

Wow. Not that I condone cheating at all, BUT- If I was with some one who treated me like a 12yo with no self control, that would be the one I'd step out on.

As long as porn isn't taking the place of sex with me, my husband is free to do what he wants.

keliaqt

Your friend is a whack job and most likely her husband will cheat or leave her because she's too controlling.
I can't hate my hubby for watching porn because I watch it too. Sometimes with him, sometimes alone. There is nothing wrong with watching porn, unless of course it's kiddie porn or bestiality or something. Those are definite no no's.

chicorojo

Of course as soon as I post this we get busy at work, I will be back, I didn't post and run !

Heorwig

AllTheTeaInChina said:

richardsj2 said:

Your friend sounds cray cray! My DH doesn't watch porn on his own; I just don't think he's interested. We watch it together though... usually at my request lol.

We watch it together too but haven't in awhile. We bought a couple videos at a sex shop.

A few years ago our house was broken into and one was stolen. We were the last house they hit before getting caught. All the victims were invited to the police station to recover their stolen property and there was the video on the table with mostly jewelry. Some people were laughing about it and I didn't have the balls to claim it.

That story is awesome!

Manateearmz

We might be in the minority here, but neither one of us is into porn. We don't watch it together or apart simply because we aren't interested.

BankerBSN

I couldn't care less if DH watches porn.

Duckie419

Woo porn! I think it's fantastic. Masturbation is fantastic. Sex is fantastic. You know, pretty much everything about that stuff is done by me. MH won't really watch it unless I watch it with him (probably due to lack of time) but we watch it together when we're in the mood for that. I like to read my porn as opposed to watch it but I'm not above watching it either. Your friend is definitely not someone I could jive with IRL and kudos to you for being able to look past that controlling side. I wonder if she would consider making a sex tape with him that way he "can have" some type of visual aid. However, I think it's really naive to think that if he wants to see it bad enough that there won't be a place he can go to watch it. Poor guy.

RosieB0514

bunattack said:

Meh. We've both watched it together and on our own so I don't care.

Exactly this.

nesenotes

I'm in the ignorance is bliss camp. I don't really care if he watches it and I'm sure he does. But i don't want him all up in my face with it either. So basically I don't want to know. Same with masturbating, I don't wanna know. We all do it but some things can be kept to ourselves.

chicorojo

ChelseaMari said:

Woo porn! I think it's fantastic. Masturbation is fantastic. Sex is fantastic. You know, pretty much everything about that stuff is done by me. MH won't really watch it unless I watch it with him (probably due to lack of time) but we watch it together when we're in the mood for that. I like to read my porn as opposed to watch it but I'm not above watching it either. Your friend is definitely not someone I could jive with IRL and kudos to you for being able to look past that controlling side. I wonder if she would consider making a sex tape with him that way he "can have" some type of visual aid. However, I think it's really naive to think that if he wants to see it bad enough that there won't be a place he can go to watch it. Poor guy.

They dont have sex with the lights on (or so she says) So i doubt there is any movie making HA! I'm alot like you when it comes to sex, I'm pretty open and so is my husband so I think we have a pretty healthy relationship .

VyD81

Your friend sounds crazy. Watching porn is not going to lead someone to cheat. I don't believe in controlling DH in anyway, porn or anything else, that's not a healthy relationship. If he wants to jerk off, go for it. I have no sex drive right now and heart burn kicks my butt at night, so poor DH. 

Besides, porn is interesting 

Duckie419

mchacon18 said:

ChelseaMari said:

Woo porn! I think it's fantastic. Masturbation is fantastic. Sex is fantastic. You know, pretty much everything about that stuff is done by me. MH won't really watch it unless I watch it with him (probably due to lack of time) but we watch it together when we're in the mood for that. I like to read my porn as opposed to watch it but I'm not above watching it either. Your friend is definitely not someone I could jive with IRL and kudos to you for being able to look past that controlling side. I wonder if she would consider making a sex tape with him that way he "can have" some type of visual aid. However, I think it's really naive to think that if he wants to see it bad enough that there won't be a place he can go to watch it. Poor guy.

They dont have sex with the lights on (or so she says) So i doubt there is any movie making HA! I'm alot like you when it comes to sex, I'm pretty open and so is my husband so I think we have a pretty healthy relationship .

Agreed! I always say communication and sex is what makes a marriage last hahaha

Colleen12589

If my husband didn't look at porn I don't think he would ever leave me alone! I say have at it, keeps us both happy I can't believe your friend would say that to you! What does she know about your marriage? That's just rude.

colliebabe

I think H watches it sometimes. I watch it by myself sometimes, sometimes we watch it together. Maybe I should put this in FFFC but I prefer girl-on-girl when I'm watching it by myself.

rshamos

I don't care. He can watch as much as he wants as long as he is ready to go when I am in the mood. Also, there are some fantasies that I cannot recreate in the bedroom that he can watch online. Go for it! And I can read my trashy novels and live my fantasies that he can't recreate. My husband has the libido of a teenager, so if he didn't watch porn I would look like I horseback ride a lot.

chicorojo

gradschoolmom1234 said:

mchacon18 said:

They dont have sex with the lights on (or so she says) So i doubt there is any movie making HA! I'm alot like you when it comes to sex, I'm pretty open and so is my husband so I think we have a pretty healthy relationship .

It sounds like she has a kind of unhealthy relationship with sex and things sexual, or maybe some major insecurities? 

@chelseamari reading erotica/romance. So much awesome. Plus I don't have to worry over if everyone was paid enough, if they were safe and disease free, and if they were or weren't actually participating consensually. What are you favorite authors? I'm always looking for new... (please don't say 50 shades of gray, that shit offended my feminist sensibilities!) 

She wasn't always this way but shes turned kind of over the top religious. Its just weird all around.

LadyRoarsome

Honestly, I would think your friends actions would make her husband cheat, not the other way around. When it comes to porn in our household it's sort of a don't ask don't tell policy. We both watch it, we both know, we don't really care. The only time I care is when it's out and the open, like if I use H's phone to do something real quick and BAM ass in my face. And it's always ass because H is a complete ass man.

nashamber

I'm very sad for your friend and her husband. She sounds like she's very insecure so much so that she hides her VS magazines. That lifestyle must be depressing and uncomfortable for both parties.

 I encourage my husband to admire the beauty of other women. Of course there is a mutual understanding that cheating in any form (physicially, emotionally, etc) is a no-no and grounds for a divorce. While out to dinner, I'm always the first one to point out the gorgeous female that walked in or the good looking fella on the table near us. It's healthy for us to look but never touch

mrsshawnavanb

OK- You're friend seriously has some issues. I would think that her husband would be the one more likely to cheat since she goes to such crazy @ss lengths to keep him from looking at other women. And yes, if she made that comment to me, especially with pregnancy hormones going on- I would've told her all about herself.

mrsshawnavanb

Oh, yeah....forgot to answer the question, I was so disturbed by your psychotic friend. Yes, DH watches porn, we sometimes watch it together and it doesn't bother me a bit. I also do not hide my victoria secret catalogs from him.
)

ColeyCannoli

Is your friend married to a 14-year-old? How do you "let" your grown ass husband have temptation? She cant control him 24/7 right? She sounds like an insecure, controling nut. I don't have a strong opinion about porn watching other than my husband is 28 and I trust him to make his own decisions. I wouldn't be hurt if he watched porn. It's not at all like cheating to me. But if it really bugged me, I'd talk to him and work it out instead of hiding magazines and blocking TV. That sounds like a great way to temp your DH to leave - if only to someone less crazy.

Emilysan16

We can each watch what we want. He only watches with me, though. Your friend's logic that watching porn will lead him to cheat is crazy. If he is watching porn, he has a committed relationship with Palm-ela and I'm sure she is available whenever.

possitivethoughts

ha! your friend is so funny! I take it her DH doesn't have a smart phone in that case huh? cause my DH can swear up and down that he never watches porn.. but I am NOT with him 24-7 to be sure of that..  its common sense that men watch porn.. they might tell you they don't. but you must be way too naive to believe they don't. porn is way to easy to access now a day.

that's just my opinion

byrne15

I don't care if he does...I don't believe he does (mainly cause he doesn't have the time).  But if it happened...I would not have a care about it.

nopegoat

H is gone anywhere from a few days to 2.5mos at a time. If he didn't watch porn we would have a problem. The only time porn would bother me is of it effected our sexual relationship.

erynpdx

When I was MUCH younger I stumbled across a search term on my bf's computer that wigged me out - I wasn't even anti porn, but as a bigger girl seeing that he was searching "tiny waist" definitely triggered all my insecurities.  If I recall correctly I think we talked about it and I just asked him to clear his search history. Ha. We watched together plenty, just that "tiny waist" thing... man it got me riled up.

Thank goodness that these days I'm much more secure in both my body and my relationship and my SO is long distance (counting down the days til his move), if he wasn't watching it I'd be a little worried!