Bachelor Party at 37 wks

SillyMe80

Our very close friends are getting married in September and we are both in the wedding (2 or 3 weeks PP, yikes). I will be delivering via scheduled c-section at the end of August. The bachelor party is in early August, during my 37th week (as is the super fun Bachelorette party, but I will be missing that for obvious reasons). The boys are staying in a cabin about 2 hours away. I have no problem with the hubs going. I trust him, I love all of his friends. I told him he can go, but he can't get wasted . . . just in case. I was telling my Mom about this and she told me I was being neurotic. My husband agrees with me (or so he says, haha). I just worry that if something were to happen, it would take at least a couple hours to sober up and a couple hours to drive home. Am I being nuts? I told home he can get a little buzzed, but just not hammered. I think its fair. Am I being overly cautious?

SillyMe80

Everyone else is staying for 2, but my husband said he would just stay for one so he could get back to my pregnant butt and our 3 year old. His suggestion, which was sweet.

SillyMe80

I hear ya. My husband is such a lightweight and our friends can driiiink. I just don't want him to get blackout drunk and with our friends & bachelor partying, that will be the theme, haha.

bluebird1109

If they are 2 hours away and something happens it is not like he can drive home to help you anyway, you need someone local to you. I get that you would want him there should something happen, but it is very unlikely that it would. I think you should just let him relax and have fun with the guys and let him make that judgment about how much he should drink. He is an adult and I would hate if my husband put limitations like "you can get buzzed but not drunk, you know just in case" on me if I went out with my girlfriends. I think you should just let him make his own call about how much to drink.

Also...I am of the mindset that if you are driving buzzed you are driving under the influence and you are putting yourself and others at risk. So either way, he would have to sober up.

SillyMe80

Maybe I am partly paranoid about being away from him a couple weeks out from baby and partly jealous that I can't go whoop it up with my friends. Also, I think my mother calling me neurotic made me want to get on my soap box, lol.

sunny1310

I'd let him go and let him drink. Theres a very slim chance you will go into labor that night and he shouldn't put off having a good time because of a hypothetical situation. 

SillyMe80

Yeah, maybe I will send our son to a Grandparent and go do something fun. . . . and once this baby busts his way out of my belly (& after an acceptable amount of time, of course), you can bet your bippy that I will be grabbing the bride and heading out for a make up Bachelorette night. Mama could use a cocktail, haha!

SillyMe80

Also, out of curiosity, at what week in the pregnancy do we reach the "don't be more than an hour away" point?

I never experienced it with our son. At my 38 week appointment they told me I had been leaking fluid and there wasn't enough left to be safe, so they yoinked him out via CS that evening. So, I am just curious. I am sure everyone has a different point that they feel comfortable with.

ghostof5letters

SillyMe80 said:

Also, out of curiosity, at what week in the pregnancy do we reach the "don't be more than an hour away" point? I never experienced it with our son. At my 38 week appointment they told me I had been leaking fluid and there wasn't enough left to be safe, so they yoinked him out via CS that evening. So, I am just curious. I am sure everyone has a different point that they feel comfortable with.

My husband commutes over an hour away to work each day, so there is no point in my pregnancy that I'll come to this. LOL

SillyMe80

How funny that you say that, bunny0711! I was actually asking because my husband plays in a band and they book summer gigs quickly. He and I were discussing a cut off point for gigs that are an hour+ away.

jnnfrrose6

SillyMe80 said:

Also, out of curiosity, at what week in the pregnancy do we reach the "don't be more than an hour away" point? I never experienced it with our son. At my 38 week appointment they told me I had been leaking fluid and there wasn't enough left to be safe, so they yoinked him out via CS that evening. So, I am just curious. I am sure everyone has a different point that they feel comfortable with.

I'm 35+1 today.  DH is leaving today to spend the weekend at my parent's cabin for a boy's weekend.  I have no concern about him being 2+ hours away at this point (though some concern about how much they will actually drink, but whatever, they're adults).  He has a business trip next week 6+ hours away, and then another business trip 8 days before EDD 3 hours away.

It's not ideal, but it is what it is.  There's only so much I can control.

PrimRoseMama

I'd go & not worry about the drinking. Honestly, if it were to be your time then labor could take all day or night.

Jenrileysmom

SillyMe80 said:

Also, out of curiosity, at what week in the pregnancy do we reach the "don't be more than an hour away" point? I never experienced it with our son. At my 38 week appointment they told me I had been leaking fluid and there wasn't enough left to be safe, so they yoinked him out via CS that evening. So, I am just curious. I am sure everyone has a different point that they feel comfortable with.

My husband travels for work so there's a good chance he'll be several hours or several states away. We won't know until the time comes

tbmadeamistake

My DH went to a bachelor party when I was about that far along with our first.  It was an hour away, not over night, and he didn't drink much at all so he could come home immediately if necessary.  Go with whatever you and your DH are comfortable with together.  If he's ok with not drinking much, good for him!  It's not about what other people think, including your mother, it's about what you and your DH are comfortable with. 

mysticl

DaisyBlinks said:

I'd probably tell him to drink up and if worst comes to worst, he can always get a cab. I know that would be really expensive, but it's very unlikely that he would actually need one. 

The fact that they are staying in a cabin makes me question if a cab is a possibility.  Not everywhere has cab service.  

alysonmh

I think you are being more than fair. He gets to go out with his friends and drink while you stay home pregnant, watching his child for him. All you asked him to do was not get wasted which is pretty reasonable

AMcLaws

It's just up to the two of you and your comfort levels. My husband wouldn't be comfortable leaving me. That's just his nature. If you have someone that could take you in (if needed!), and he's only a couple hours away...let him go. I might make the same request that he not get "blackout" drunk....so he's at least coherent if I need to get ahold of him for some reason.