How do you cope with the frustration?

norab2684

Two hours was all she/I slept last night. I feel so incredibly frustrated. I feel like I'm going to lose my mind. She is 19 days old and it has been the longest 19 days of my life. I feel so guilty for feeling this way, but I can't help it. Please tell me what you ladies do to get yourselves through this. TIA for your words of wisdom!

DBonfante

First take a deep breath! This is all new to us and very taxing on our lives. Also do not feel guilty for feeling this way. That was a big one for me. I cried a few nights and that's ok. This will get easier and remember you have an amazing baby and you are an awesome mommy .

LunaBug924

This was me last night. See my post "Please remind me it gets better" below. I cried most of the day yesterday. Even though DH and my MIL were helping and trying to let me sleep during the day, I was just so over tired and felt so guilty that I wasn't taking care of her during the day. DH even sent me to bed last night at 9 and let me sleep till 3am. I know not everyone has that kind of help available, I'm very lucky.

I don't really have any advice about the frustration other than to try to relax (if you figure it out, can you tell me how?) And if you do have people offering to help, TAKE IT! I'm learning really fast that trying to be super mom is only going to drain me and kill my baby joy.

I hope things start clicking for you and LO soon. Hang in there mama, you're definitely not alone!

Kris2011RN

I just remind myself that it will get better, she will sleep through the night. She won't be this small forever and I just need to enjoy her right now. One day I will sleep.
Sometimes it's hard to remember that, and that is perfectly normal. Don't feel guilty, you're tired and we all feel that way.

spinsoffresonance

The lack of sleep is really what gets to me. I try to nap as much as possible during the day. Of course with an 18m old around that doesn't really happen. So I sleep at night with DD2 in my bed. She goes back to sleep much quicker than in her cosleeper which allows me to maximize the amount of sleep I get at night. I'm still up nursing every 2 hours but at least I can go right back to sleep instead of fighting LO to go back to sleep.

MissLadyTay

I am usually really patient but when not even the boob will calm him and I'm exhausted, I do get cranky. If I'm frustrated I give him to MH to deal with. And I don't feel guilty about it at all. It's his kid too.

usernewname

DBonfante said:

First take a deep breath! This is all new to us and very taxing on our lives. Also do not feel guilty for feeling this way. That was a big one for me. I cried a few nights and that's ok. This will get easier and remember you have an amazing baby and you are an awesome mommy .

This. Take a hot bath regardless if LO is crying (sorry to your so) and cry if you have to. If you take a minute to yourself you will feel more human.

norab2684

Thanks for all the kind words and encouragement. She finally went to sleep this morning from 530-8. So I got a little rest.
It is so hard because every time she fusses DH thinks she wants to eat (9 out of 10 times he's right), so that means pass her back to me.
At a certain point last night she didn't want the boob but was wide awake and I'd been up with her all night. All I wanted to do was sleep. That is where my frustration hit. DH is working full time and wasn't much help last night. It's also frustrating because during the day she eats and goes right to sleep! Why can't she do that at night?!?!!!!
I know this phase will pass, but man is it hard!

ns1

What everyone else said! I've only done one night of this at home but had a night just like you describe. It is already rough but I know this time it will pass. That is a little comforting.

apinkpelican

Hang in there, Mama! You got this. It is so hard and you shouldn't feel guilty for feeling the way you do. As my sister says "This Poo shall pass" (((hugs)))

shaunamw

My son was like that and I walked around like a zombie for probably six weeks or so. I finally found a new mom support group and took the collective advise to nap during the day. It really helped. Once you get overly tired everything becomes difficult.

I also stopped trying to nurse him in his room and brought him in our room with a cosleeper. He would settle quicker and sleep longer stretches if I kept my hand near him.

Try different things ( noise machine, swaddle vs no swaddle or sleeping in a different position my ped recommend trying a slightly side sleeping position).

It will get better and you will make it through.

Ziegeficker

Honestly? I cry. Then I invite a good friend over for some normal conversation. The normalcy pulls me out of my own head, helps ground me, and gives me some more steam. And have that friend bring you Starbucks, because fancy coffee makes everything better, even if it's only temporary.

hbird0723

I was feeling that same way this week until yesterday after we had our 2 week pediatrician appointment. I cried when the doctor asked how things were. He said don't worry almost every mom cries at this appointment and he really made me feel like it was normal and gave us some advice to help calm her. First I decided I was determined to find a paci that she wouldn't spit out because part of her problem is I'm over producing and she's getting too much too fast so before she realizes she's full she's had too much and it's causing some digestion trouble. So i have started pulling it out and taking some breaks in between this has helped a lot with the gas issue. He also suggested baby probiotics. Not sure if this is an issue for you as far as your LO being up so much at night but that was part of our problem. Her gas woke her up. Anyway, I went through 7 different paci's and finally found one she would take (it's the old latex ones and of course the ugliest one we have and the only one of its kind). This has helped a lot because now if her tummy hurts she will take that as comfort instead if eating more food which makes it worse. The other problem we had at night was her arms waking her up and she likes to put her hands by her face. The gloves always fall off so she ends up scratching herself. In the other thread like this I had posted that she hates swaddling but then read that others said not to give up on it so I tried again and this time put her arms across her chest. She liked that so much better and I turned her so her back was toward me and I could hold the paci in her mouth and support her head with one arm and then her body with the other. I then bounced her and she instantly calmed down and fell asleep. She slept sooo much better last night because of the swaddle and the paci. Sorry this is long but as others have said I know how you feel and maybe one of these suggestions will help.

Ziegeficker

Oh, another thing....I have to constantly remind myself to take it one day at a time. Even as a second time mom who knows firsthand that it gets better, I have seriously bad days where I feel the anxiety taking over. Yesterday was one of those days (both DD and I have an awful cold)...I stepped outside on my back porch, took a huge breath of fresh air (it was my first time being outside all day), and took some time to myself to recount all of the wonderful things I had in my life and to remind myself that tomorrow is a new day. It helped restore the balance. Find the little things on which to touch base...have some damn good ice cream in the freezer...watch some seriously shitty reality TV...and then pat yourself on the back for all of the amazing work you've done.

LeeLee86

Accept help! I feel totally useless most days but I'm getting over it. Now I tell ppl if you wanna come over and hold the baby you gotta do a chore lol!
I also take a walk everyday when DH gets home. Outside, with my music loud and no baby.