"Stunned"

ScubaMomma

We are a military family and postings are inevitable.  You uproot, you move only to do it again a few years later.  They have facilities for military families to support and help you network in your new community.  Depending on the location, some are better than others.  So my son and I pop in for an orientation and there is a lady in her mid twenties who runs the mom and tots group at this particular Military Family Resource Center. Well, I am 42 expecting my second child and she proceeds to ask if I will have any more, which I found rather blunt since I'd known her all of 6 seconds.  She then said, "Oh man, I am gonna have kids early, I can't even imagine having a geriatric pregnancy!"  I just stared at her.  At first I thought I must have misunderstood.  Nope.  First off, I had never heard that term before, secondly, who says that to someone!?  I know I'm old, but my God, way to make a first impression.  We didn't go back.  I realize the hormones are at an all time high right now, but I wanted to hand this gal a big cup of "shut the f*#@ up". 

ZooCrewMom

I would have head butted her!

mysticl

Wow. That was rude.

We are a military family too but about the only resources I use on base are the Commissary and the NEX.

Samuelismomma

I would of probably slapped her:( your not old ! I'm gonna be 42 in July and pregnant with #2 , ds is 2...I wouldn't go back either!

ScubaMomma

Samuelismomma said:

I would of probably slapped her:( your not old ! I'm gonna be 42 in July and pregnant with #2 , ds is 2...I wouldn't go back either!

Honestly, I do not feel old, but I am sure to her I must be well over the hill!  I'll be 43 when this LO comes along as well @Samuelismomma.

astridz077

She doesn't sound mature enough to be a parent yet herself.

Mrs.McIrish

Oh just wow. What a twit.

JilliansMoma

I would have throat punched her! At the very least called her out for her rudeness! Talk about no filter...screw her!

path75

Thats horrible. People are so rude and it seems the younger generation have no respect.

brendisimma

Terrible, you have more self control and class than I do..I heard that "geriatric pregnancy" crap from actress Halle Berry who said that on national show about her last pregnancy, she was 46

ScubaMomma

brendisimma said: Terrible, you have more self control and class than I do..I heard that "geriatric pregnancy" crap from actress Halle Berry who said that on national show about her last pregnancy, she was 46
 

Wow, I am more than a little surprised to hear that came from Halle Berry.  Just seems incredibly insensitive. 
I'd like to say it was self control and class that kept me from dishing it back...however, I'm afraid this was more a case of  "I always know the right thing to say, immediately after the right time to say it has passed." Every time.

springbeduk2

My fantasy response to that: immediately snap into your best little old lady voice and stance, shake your finger in her face, and say something starting with, "listen here, young lady..." and when you finish reeming her out walk off shaking your head and muttering something about whippersnappers and "kids these days"

Just a fantasy though - would never be quick-witted enough to respond in a funny way in the moment.

indianaalum

How rude.

i had someone say "OMG how did that happen?" when I announced I was pregnant. Mind you, I am married and never once mentioned I was having fertility issues so can only assume she was referring to my age rather than her tinking I had some immaculate conception or something. I just turned 41, so it isn't inconceivable that I could have had a child on my own. 

Had she not said it THAT way, I would have probaby mentioned my IVF to her, but I didn't like the tone..so didn't feel safe discussing such a private matter with her

People can be so insensitive

danieleandwayne

Oh that twinkie needs a beat down. For reals. 

NicoleWI

She's just totally immature and tactless. Clueless. Ugh.

ScubaMomma

indianaalum said:

How rude.

i had someone say "OMG how did that happen?" when I announced I was pregnant. Mind you, I am married and never once mentioned I was having fertility issues so can only assume she was referring to my age rather than her tinking I had some immaculate conception or something. I just turned 41, so it isn't inconceivable that I could have had a child on my own. 

Had she not said it THAT way, I would have probaby mentioned my IVF to her, but I didn't like the tone..so didn't feel safe discussing such a private matter with her

People can be so insensitive

Very wise in keeping it to yourself.  Some people don't deserve to know such personal info.  It blows me away, I see pregnancy as such a sacred time.  It's just so special, that when someone throws a tactless response like that, I am dumbfounded.  There are some who see pregnancy as an opportunity to delve into the "none of your business" zone.  Like it's now their right.

Bigboneded

I have a military background, too. And that might need reported. Even if you atent going to use her services, she should not be talking this way to anyone, how very inconsiderate and rude. Also, she will move on soon. Maybe find out when.... :-) Sorry you had to deal with that. I would have said something, but my mouth has been getting me in trouble my entire career :-)

2redtulips

I have heard the term before, and I think it's a terrible one. What's worse is some young thing using it so flippantly like that. I would have been so angry. 

harmonicbabe26

Wow! Stupid bia**** If it makes you feel better, i am 35, going to be 36 at time of delivery and my recent checkout paper from the doc's office had the words 'elderly mother' on it... Sorry whattt??? Elderly??

Klavanga74

That's terrible and I agree with PP who said she is probably too immature to be a mom! Good things come with age, if you ask me! BTW, thank you to your family for your service. I am lucky to be able to have a bunch of military wives and former military working on my team for my business and they're the best...except that lady!

WhiteRose38

I have nothing of value to add but I'm just completely dumbfounded at how ignorant people can be....no tact, no manners.

I am 37 and 12wks, will be 38 when LO arrives and I'm even completely turned off by the phrase "advanced maternal age" much less geriatric pregnancy......talk about politically incorrect......SMH

ScubaMomma

harmonicbabe26 said:

Wow! Stupid bia**** If it makes you feel better, i am 35, going to be 36 at time of delivery and my recent checkout paper from the doc's office had the words 'elderly mother' on it... Sorry whattt??? Elderly??

Are you serious????  That's unreal.  Mortified.

ScubaMomma

Klavanga74 said:

That's terrible and I agree with PP who said she is probably too immature to be a mom! Good things come with age, if you ask me! BTW, thank you to your family for your service. I am lucky to be able to have a bunch of military wives and former military working on my team for my business and they're the best...except that lady!

Thank you for your kind words!  I passed your message on to my husband.  He's been to Afghanistan 3 times, Bosnia, Haiti, Jamaica and numerous postings before I met him.  He's such a good man. 

ScubaMomma

WhiteRose38 said:

I have nothing of value to add but I'm just completely dumbfounded at how ignorant people can be....no tact, no manners. I am 37 and 12wks, will be 38 when LO arrives and I'm even completely turned off by the phrase "advanced maternal age" much less geriatric pregnancy......talk about politically incorrect......SMH

I completely agree.  I have always wanted children, I wanted a lot of them!  I met my husband at 38 years of age, so we were off to a late start to say the least!  One thing I know for sure, I appreciate this more than I think I would have 20 years ago.  So in the end, it all worked out.  The terminology is insulting, we may be older, but what comes with this age are many gifts and life experience.  I wouldn't change anything.  

2ndGeneration

 Not to defend young flapping lips  : ) but when I was in my mid-20's I could not imagine a 'geriatric pregnancy' either LOL. I'm 43 so I have one haha, but my 25yo self never imagined that. But I wouldn't have said it OUT LOUD.

 I've had a few people ask if this is a 'change of life' baby. Hello, I'm years from the change! Close people don't ask me this though as we had 2 m/c last year...people who don't know that seem to think it was a suprise.

ScubaMomma

2ndGeneration said:

 Not to defend young flapping lips  : ) but when I was in my mid-20's I could not imagine a 'geriatric pregnancy' either LOL. I'm 43 so I have one haha, but my 25yo self never imagined that. But I wouldn't have said it OUT LOUD.

 I've had a few people ask if this is a 'change of life' baby. Hello, I'm years from the change! Close people don't ask me this though as we had 2 m/c last year...people who don't know that seem to think it was a suprise.

It's funny how we think we have it all planned out.  My mother was pregnant with my youngest sister at 43, and my oldest sister was expecting HER first child at the very same time.  21 years before that my grandma and mother were expecting at the same time.  So my aunt and sister were in the same class through school!  
I remember thinking the same, I do not want to be as old as a grandmother when I have a baby!
It's pretty amazing how things evolve.  The years I thought I would spend child rearing, I spent traveling and scuba diving.  At 39 I married and we started our family 2 months later.  What I had thought would be ideal for me so long ago, doesn't matter anymore.
If the kids at school ask my children if I am their granny, I'll feel bad for them, but I am so proud and love being a mommy!  Best title ever!! 

designchica

I am shocked. I can't imagine someone would be that rude intentionally, but maybe I am wrong!  I am not sure how I would have responded in that situation.  Speechless.

designchica

You know what?  I cannot imagine having had a child at the age of 23 or whatever this young girl was.   I know there are mothers that young who do quite well as parents and I am not judging anyone who had a baby that young, but I look back and think about that I have done in my life between the ages of 23 and 38 and I cannot imagine it any other way.   I am not the same person I was at the age of 23. That person was NOT ready to be a mom, but the person I am today is.

MrsL2B

I also couldn't imagine having to raise a child when I was in my 20s. Raising my husband was enough! It sounds like this girl could still use a few lessons herself.

HTBaby13

I would have been offended too . It just sounds insensitive. I've heard that term before though and i dcided to look it up . It seems to be a clinical term used synonymous to advanced maternal age. Perhaps she didn't mean for it to sound intentionally rude .