Discipline/Punishment? (andreahshields)

ProfessorPedals825

Can somebody talk to me about discipline or punishment?  As a loss Mom, I feel so guilty when I have to say No to PJ or even when I can't give her everything she wants.  Lately she's begun hitting/slapping and throwing things when she's mad.  I try to get her to look right at me as I explain sternly that she cannot hit Daddy or the dog.  This works for a moment.  The other day she walked up to the tv and started banging her hands on it.  I took her in my arms and said no, you can't do that, but then she laughed and turned right back to the tv to do it again.  I had to turn the tv off and move her to her bedroom to play.  Does anybody have any other tips for dealing with a toddler that won't listen?  (I'm sure that most don't really understand yet anyway)  Just wondering if there's something I'm missing.

Mom2anAngel2

We are going through the same phase right now. DS has begun slapping the dog and throwing his toys. Every time we try to redirect him he just laughs. I have actually begun sitting him on my lap and not letting him off until he stops fussing (it usually takes a minute or two). Then I try and say that we don't hit and that he is giving the dog a boo boo. Who knows how much it is actually working because he I still doing it. I am hoping that repetition will be the key.

Wifey xo

I won't pretend to know, but I plan on ordering Jo Frost books. Remember Super Nanny? I am a fan of her techniques with discipline and time outs (Phoebe still very young). All about not rewarding naughty behavior and getting down to their level and making eye contact ( instead of holding them), being patient and consistent, and not engaging tantrums with your attention and trying to redirect. I can hear my 6 month old laughing at me right now, lol! I watched the show quite a bit and really liked her firm and confident approach, and that she felt spanking was not necessary. She will test you, and is experimenting with what she can get away with. I always thought I would be the strong one and DH would be the softie, but after my loss journey I am surprised with my inability to even let him cry. I need to get it together because disciplining him will be one of the best gifts I can give him. **ipad

ProfessorPedals825

Exactly!  I hate to even see her cry!  DH and I always said that we were spanked and we would do the same, but now that we actually have her here, there's no way we can do it.  We're both softies.  I'll have to look into those books too.  I loved Super Nanny!

Wifey xo

kklamb10 said:

@Wifey xo‌ I didn't know she had a book! I'm going to need that! I remember watching Super Nanny when I was a nanny and dealing with a lot of issues. That woman is amazing! Sorry @ProfessorPedals825‌ I have a friend who's 17 month old DD is going through the same thing. I don't have any advice but good luck.

She has several books out! Check out Amazon.com

MickeyM04

We have been doing time outs for probably 6 months now. One minute time out per year, so we started with one minute time outs and are up to two now. At first he didn't get it; we would have to put him in the time out corner and hold him in place because he would try to walk away. Now when he gets a time out we say, "Go to time out please," and he walks over there himself. It's kind of cute. We usually give two warnings--"J, no hitting please." "J, no hitting or it's time for time out." "Okay J, I asked you not to hit and you did it again, please go to time out." Then after the time out is over I'll sit him down and say, "I'm sorry you had to go to time out, but that's what happens when you hit people. No more hitting okay?" Something like that. It's at the point where he's starting to respond to the "threat" of time out. Like if he's not listening but not necessarily doing something bad. Like, "J, do you need a time out?" And he will say NO! And maybe 50% of the time he will stop what he's doing so as to avoid the time out. I like the method we have in place. It seems to work well. DS almost never repeats the bad behavior once time out is over. I can count maybe two or three times where I had to give two time ours back to back for the same reason. GL to you with whatever you implement!!

damabo80

At 14m, I'd tell her what I WANT her to do not what I DON'T want her to do. 

"Hands are gentle. Watch. Show me gentle hands." While taking her hands and stroking daddy's face gently. And then followed by lots of praise: "Yay! you used gentle hands! I love when you use gentle hands!"

They are all about reactions at this age, so ignore the bad (if she's banging on the tv and "use gentle hands" doesn't deter her, silently and without fanfare, move her to a different part of the room), and praise the hell out of the good. Once they stop getting a reaction, the newness of whatever they are doing goes away. 

For books, I like "the happiest toddler on the block". Keep in mind that most "discipline techniques" are really only viable after age 2. Before then, they just don't get it. 

ProfessorPedals825

Thanks everybody for your input!  These are all some great suggestions.  I did buy Happiest Toddler on the Block recently and just started reading it with DH.  He has a short fuse and will repeat NO, NO, NO, NO about a hundred times before I swoop in and try redirection.  I guess I'll need to train him a bit too to get him on the same page as me.

Mmm79

Ugh, we are dealing with this, too.  All of a sudden in the last few weeks A has started hitting and kicking- mostly while he is on the changing table.  I Talked to my pediatrician about it on a recent visit and she suggested eye contact and clearly stating "no [insert behavior]".  If he does it again, it's repeat that and then put him down and walk away for about a minute.  He usually cries when I do that which is hard

As for throwing things, A just learned to throw a ball which is awesome.  We clap and cheer him on...then I noticed he is starting to throw other things in the same manner.  And I'm trying to figure out how to explain to a 15 month old that throwing a ball is good, throwing a block is bad.  It must be really confusing for him.