Constant low level of anxiety

Mmk724

I have been reading the baby whisperer book and trying the EASY method. Eat, activity, sleep, your time. I feel like all I do is watch the clock all day now and get anxious if DS isn't napping when he is "supposed to" because I know that it will affect his sleeping at night. It seems like my whole day is just waiting to see what will happen at bedtime! I know this is completely irrational but I can't help it. Like many of you I'm home with him alone all day so I think that is why I obsess over this stuff. I hate that I'm wishing my days away waiting for DH to get home instead of enjoying the time with my son! Is anyone else experiencing this? Thoughts on what I can do to alleviate some of this anxiety? Should I throw the baby whisperer book out the window?

Forgot to mention that this routine works relatively well so ditching it altogether isn't a good idea either. Just thought of that as I was reading one of the other posts about routines...

juniper75

I followed the EASY routine with DD1 until she was about 4 months old. I never really for the "Y" though - it was an EAS routine..lol It worked fairly well but I really just followed it in principle - kind of like an order of events and didn't worry about the timing on everything - maybe trying something like that would reduce your anxiety?

I think when babes are this young most of us are waiting to see what will happen at bedtime no matter what schedule you follow.

padma55

I struggle with this from time to time. I got used to looking forward to nursing so that I could check email and/or play mindless games on my phone (Candy Crush, anyone?). I began noticing that LO would be fussing at the breast more and this was causing a variety of linked issues; increased gas, my milk wouldn't let down, he couldn't maintain proper latch, etc. We both became frustrated when it was time to nurse, and we needed to do it more often because the aforementioned reasons were impeding a decent feeding! Once I stopped having any expectations about what I would get to do when I fed him, I was able to focus on just nursing him; I look at him and rub his head and gently talk to him. He's so comfortable and knows I'm really "present", so our feedings go much faster and easier than ever before.

I don't have any thoughts about routine, because if I attach myself to the idea that there should be a routine, I'm consistently disappointed. I've been lucky that LO has a routine that works really well for the family, and that he did it on his own.

There is an excellent book called Buddhism for Mothers, and it addresses mindfulness and living in the moment and being present despite our natural inclination to be always planning ahead and worrying and thinking things will be better "if only ". I'd like to give every new mom this book.

Remember that this will pass before you know it, and LO will probably have a set schedule that is no work at all in just a few months.

chirico3

padma55 said:

I struggle with this from time to time. I got used to looking forward to nursing so that I could check email and/or play mindless games on my phone (Candy Crush, anyone?). I began noticing that LO would be fussing at the breast more and this was causing a variety of linked issues; increased gas, my milk wouldn't let down, he couldn't maintain proper latch, etc. We both became frustrated when it was time to nurse, and we needed to do it more often because the aforementioned reasons were impeding a decent feeding! Once I stopped having any expectations about what I would get to do when I fed him, I was able to focus on just nursing him; I look at him and rub his head and gently talk to him. He's so comfortable and knows I'm really "present", so our feedings go much faster and easier than ever before. I don't have any thoughts about routine, because if I attach myself to the idea that there should be a routine, I'm consistently disappointed. I've been lucky that LO has a routine that works really well for the family, and that he did it on his own. There is an excellent book called Buddhism for Mothers, and it addresses mindfulness and living in the moment and being present despite our natural inclination to be always planning ahead and worrying and thinking things will be better "if only ". I'd like to give every new mom this book. Remember that this will pass before you know it, and LO will probably have a set schedule that is no work at all in just a few months.

I could have written this. I noticed that if I check my FB or email while I am nursing, LO becomes fussy, and keeps latching and unlatching. It seems like she wants my full attention, so I just leave my phone and gently caress her on her head (this seems to relax her).

As for the EASY routine, I try to get from that book what I like, and forget all the rest. I tried to nurse every 2,5 - 3h, but baby wasn't growing enough, so now I feed her when she's hungry and she's much better (she nurses every 3 hours anyway, only occasionally she's hungry after 1 hour or 1 hour and a half - and I feed er). 

There are other things I don't like, and I just don't follow them.

I like her emphasis on trying to understand the different kind of crying, and the fact that she doesn't show any preferences regarding BF or FF, or a combination of the two.

So, I'd suggest - keep a loose schedule, knowing that if LO doesn't follow it to a T, nothing will happen!

BR

I agree with the others. I try to follow the EASY routine as it is helpful for baby and I to know what to expect. But, I am not rigid about it and if it doesn't work out a particular day then I don't stress about it. Take from the book what you like and ignore the rest.

As a STM, I have learned babies go through so many changes. Once you think you've figured them out, they change again. It is really hard for me to not want to control every little thing- but once I let go and realize the baby will be fine no matter what I felt a lot better. Try to enjoy the time you have and not worry about a strict schedule yet.

fee1124

Mmk724 said:

I have been reading the baby whisperer book and trying the EASY method. Eat, activity, sleep, your time. I feel like all I do is watch the clock all day now and get anxious if DS isn't napping when he is "supposed to" because I know that it will affect his sleeping at night. It seems like my whole day is just waiting to see what will happen at bedtime! I know this is completely irrational but I can't help it. Like many of you I'm home with him alone all day so I think that is why I obsess over this stuff. I hate that I'm wishing my days away waiting for DH to get home instead of enjoying the time with my son! Is anyone else experiencing this? Thoughts on what I can do to alleviate some of this anxiety? Should I throw the baby whisperer book out the window?

Forgot to mention that this routine works relatively well so ditching it altogether isn't a good idea either. Just thought of that as I was reading one of the other posts about routines...

Mmk724

Thank you for the responses and thoughts. They are very helpful. I'm going to try to be more calm in general and not all a routine or the clock rule my life. I think LO and I will both be happier that way.