M14 Input Needed

iJustCant10

I guess I will intro quickly and say I was active in the board from July til January under G i b s o nbaby1 (all together tho) in case anyone is wondering who this crazy is that keeps posting. I went on a little hiatus for a while.

So I am going to Chicago for 3 nights in a couple weeks. It's a short drive away. My sister will be watching LO Thursday night and then he will go to my ILs for Friday and Saturday.
My issue is at lunch on Monday FIL was saying how excited they are to watch him, and then went on to say how they planned to take him to a few grad parties and show him off (both ILs work in the school system and have lived in the community their whole lives so they know EVERYONE). My knee jerk response was "I don't know about that" and I kind of signaled to DH who promptly said "if you guys want to go do stuff, her sister can take him back". We were trying to not be too forward but were caught off guard.
I don't feel comfortable with them taking LO out into big groups of people. I haven't even done that yet. The most people he's been around are immediate family members. I've read Facebook posts on MILs page of people saying "can't wait to hold him" etc, and I know they'd let them.
I've tried to talk myself down and convince myself it's no big deal and just get over it, but I always come back to the same original feelings.
I know that ifi told them not to take him that they'd respect my wishes, but I still sometimes feel I'm being too "mama bear", which I can't help. In the end I will do what I feel is right, but I just wanted some outside perspective from others.
So... WWM14D??

lazyreader

What I would do/did with my own feelings - let them show her off.
What would I do if I felt the way you do? - if you do not want them to pass the baby around, say so. If you don't want your baby in public without you, say so.
No sense in getting antsy if you know it's going to stress you out.

PerkyErky

I have no problem personally with my parents or ILs showing LO off and other people holding him. They are excited and love being grandparents and are proud of LO. I wouldn't be bothered by it.

Since you are bothered by it, speak up. Are there any situations you'd be ok with them taking him out? Would you be more ok with it if he wasn't passed around? Your feelings are valid and as the parent you get to set the rules and expectations.

iJustCant10

Thanks ladies. I honestly don't like feeling this way. I wish I were more easy going. I think the fact that I grew up with very limited family around and moved around so much just makes me uncomfortable because I myself have never really been one to be in large groups of people and know everyone in it.
@PerkyErky‌ I think I would feel more comfortable with him going but not being passed around. But I know it's natural for people to want to touch and hold and play. Like I said, I know my ILs will respect my wishes either way, and they are just excited first-time grandparents, so I should come up with a compromise I can live with.

iJustCant10

@ShellsBells1980‌ haha yeah I guess so! Deep down that's how I WANT to be, but I've tried to loosen the reigns a bit since I go back to work soon. Just trying to acclimate myself to not being with him all day every day.

fish8412

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you feel! You are the mom, therefore you have the final say in what LO does/who he is held by/etc. Everyone has different parenting styles so there will always be someone that disagrees with what you are doing. You just have to remember that you are a great mom and are doing what's best for you and your child.

iJustCant10

Thanks for your input ladies! DH and I talked it over again tonight and he doesn't feel comfortable with it either even though these are people he knows. So we won't be allowing it.
@Baby1Dany‌ he is 12 weeks. Will be 14 weeks by then. And he has definitely found his hands and ALWAYS has them in his mouth so, yeah, I definitely don't want random people messing with him for an entire afternoon!