11 mo old still not STTN (long - need help!)

valeivegas

DD just turned 11 mos & is still waking up several times throughout the night.  I know I've instilled some bad habits w/ her - about 5 mos ago I started co-sleeping during her nighttime nursing sessions b/c I was so utterly exhausted.  So of course now she does not know how to sleep on her own, but lately she also does not want to nurse at night either.  A week ago we changed the bedtime routine to bath, then nurse & as she's falling asleep I give her to Dh who puts her to bed then (he rocks her, then puts her down when she's almost sleeping, & pats her back until she falls asleep).  We're doing this to teach her to fall asleep on her own - not by nursing.  She does fall asleep within 15 min or so, but wakes up within 2 hours & then every 2 hours all.night.long...  =(    By 3 am we can't take it anymore & I bring her back to my bed & nurse her.  Sometimes she gets mad & doesn't even want to be in our bed - starts thrashing around.  So we're up for an hour sometimes trying to get her back to sleep.  At 3 am I'll do anything to just get some sleep - we're both utterly exhausted by this.

I talked to the pediatrician about it & he recommended focusing on the initial falling asleep right after the bath so she learns to fall asleep, then just continue nursing her in bed the rest of the night so we can get some rest.  He said it would take a week or so once she learns to fall asleep on her own, she should put herself back to sleep during the night.  (He wanted us to do CIO for the initial falling asleep but we're against this - so the back rubbing works.) 

I just don't know if the method we've been doing is going to work.  She does fall asleep on her own initially, but the rest of the night is a total nightmare for us.  I can barely function w/o an insane amount of coffee - & Dh is in school - so it's very stressful.  But we can't just let her scream all night when she wakes up, and it's utterly exhausting to try to get her to sleep by rubbing her back in the middle of the night - it takes a half hour or more sometimes.

Any tips from those who've done a similar sleep training?  Or what worked for you - how long did it take??  Thanks!

EVA116

I did CIO. I read the ferber book. It helped a lot to understand the sleep habits of babies. If you rub their back till they go to sleep then they will want that again when they wake up.

I would check out the book. CIO is not as mean as it sounds if you do it the correct way.

That is the only suggest I have because that is all I have done for both kids. Best money I ever invested was buying the book.

Silverlining2011

If your baby falls asleep by having her back patted then that's what she will need every time she wakes up. Read the guides on troublesome tots www.troublesometots.com for some help with transitioning her to truly falling asleep on her own. Consistency is key. You'd be surprised how quickly things can improve if you implement change and stick with it. Also, would suggest allowing for some tears/fussing (can set short time limit).

frugalphillybride

Try reading The Sleep Lady's Good Night Sleep Tight book.  I too didn't want to do CIO.  She has you do a method called the sleep lady shuffle where you sit next to the crib for the first 3 nights and do some intermittent soothing.  Then every 3 nights you move toward the door.  I'm sure there will be some tears this way too, but some moms can stomach this better.  (My LO was freaking out when I would leave the room so this method sounded better for us).  She stresses that consistency is key.  So you would need to respond to all wakeups the same and stop bringing her in bed at 3am.  She would also have you stop patting her to sleep for the initial fall asleep.  I know it seems impossible right now, but you may be surprised how well it works.  I only did the first night last night, but was surprised how well it worked.  Whatever you try, there will be some short term pain for the long term gain.  Good luck momma!  

davis0905

Here's another book rec. The No Cry Sleep Solution.  it's great for parents who are not comfortable with CIO.  I found it extremely helpful just to learn about normal baby sleep habits.  My son is 11 months and is just now starting to sleep through the night. So you're not alone. For us the key is getting him to eat more during the day.  We have a very consistent schedule and routine that we keep him on.  Sometimes it helps to make some tweaks to the nap and bedtime schedules.  As they get older they do not require as much sleep. We adjusted LO's bedtime to later and that has helped too. 

PrimRoseMama

It's normal for a baby to not be STTN until later

BelhurstBride

DD1 was nearly 3 before she started STTN. It's just when she was ready to do so. 

laciegregory

With both of our children I did CIO. Watch the clock - 1 minutes seems like 20 when they are crying.  Go back in and calm them down every couple of minutes but don't pick them up - do the same thing in the middle of the night. I used a pacifier.  Start your routine and stick to it - you could live in a different world in just three nights if you can stick to it.  Hope this helps. Also, I suggest reading a few articles on the effects of sleep deprivation - it's not healthy for you or your little one to not rest. And who has time to spend two hours fighting about bed time every night?

BelhurstBride

laciegregory said:

 Also, I suggest reading a few articles on the effects of sleep deprivation - it's not healthy for you or your little one to not rest. 

There are just as many articles that state that CIO is incredibly damaging.

JessicaKS

Honestly, I know that this is not what you want to hear, because I don't really have advice, per se, but I can tell you that our daughter did not STTN ever until she turned 10 months old. Literally, mid-April she turned 10 months, and has STTN every night since. I have no idea what changed, but I did nothing to cause this to happen. We tried various methods to get her to STTN before that, but she would wake up almost every single night and usually wouldn't fall back to sleep unless I fed her. One day that all changed!

I guess what I am saying that this too will pass

bgreen_07

Sounds like same thing we had a few months ago. We initially had her going to sleep CIO method at 7months, but then she started falling asleep in my arms during out bedtime routine (while nursing). Seemed more peaceful and easier than putting her to bed awake, but then she'd keep waking during the night. Then she teethed around 9 months and literally would wake every hour. I was exhausted. As soon as het tooth cut through I stared the CIO method again and did night weaning and DD has been a sleeping angel ever since sleeping 12 hrs straight (even if she does wake up, she puts herself back to sleep once she finds her pacifier). And she now takes her naps in her crib too. We're all doing so much better now we're getting sleep and have our beds and rooms back