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Help while waiting for diagnosis

Im 23 weeks. We found out last Thursday something was not right with baby girl. So far she has hypoplastic left heart and cleft lip. Maybe small growth. But the hardest piece of news is yet to come: we're supposed to get some answers (hopefully) on the chromosomal cause this Friday. Obviously, I'm a basket case. Not eating right, not taking care of the house or myself. It's all I can do to keep up with my 3 yr old twins. Not many family or friends know yet, especially not specifics, because we'd just rather wait til we find out before answering everyone's questions.

My question for y'all is: any ideas on how to make it through this week? I can't come up with any dinner ideas, not up for going to the store, we're running out of clean clothes....I know I need to get it together for my family but any tips on how y'all got through the long wait for a diagnosis would be so helpful. For some reason dinner is especially hard bc i know i need to feed my family but im not hungry and cant come up with ideas or things that i feel like putting effort into making. Thank you.

Re: Help while waiting for diagnosis

  • I'm so sorry. Limbo is so hard. I would make things easy on yourself this week--take-out, breakfast for dinner, eating off paper plates so you don't have to mess with dishes, asking your H to help, etc. 
    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
  • Oh honey, I'm so sorry.  I am coming up on my 3-year anniversary of diagnosis day and it was such a difficult time... and I didn't have any other kids to take care of.  The thing that helped was having goals and meeting little milestones.  I also read a few books and watched a couple movies.  Going on long walks helped too. 

    Meals can be quick - takeout, frozen pizza, spaghetti and jar sauce, cereal, cereal, cereal.  Do 1 productive thing each day, even if it's just taking a shower or emptying the dishwasher.  And whatever you're feeling and going through is totally normal.  Take care of yourself.  
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  • Fake it till you make it.  It took 15 months of testing for us to get a diagnosis.  There was a lot of limbo.  The last genetic test we did took 3.5 months to come back.  

    You just focus on what is in front of you immediately.  Right now, you do what you can.  You mother.  Your baby needs you to eat right and relax.  The less stress the better (easier said than done).  You care for your twins and be the mom they need too.  And then you get in the shower at night and do the ugly cry until you can't cry anymore.  And then you do it again the next day.

    It's hard.  I still have moments.  But I truly believe happiness is a choice.  You have a choice to wallow and pity and worry or you have a choice to let it go and accept what you have at this moment.  

    I'm a strong believer of living in the moment.  We have no idea what we'll have in 10 minutes much less 10 days or 10 years.  But I know what I have right now and I don't want to miss out on it because I'm too busy worrying.

    Good luck, I hope the wait time passes quickly for you!
    To my boys:  I will love you for you Not for what you have done or what you will become I will love you for you I will give you the love The love that you never knew
    [Deleted User]Princess_Lily
  • I agree with Toastie...

    "Fake it, 'till you make it.". Is the best during times like these. Consume yourself in your kids and set small goals. Like today say, "This morning I will do 1 load of laundry."

    Then, build momentum the next today, like, "okay, today I will do one load and take a morning shower.". If you find yourself only handling 1 task , then do that one.

    Take 1 day at a time.
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