Taking Away Paternity Rights? (No Bashing)

SilentSymphony

I'm almost 6 months pregnant and recently told the father that i was pregnant (we broke up 5 months ago). I want to have his parental rights taken away. He claims to be  a fit parent when he has a 6 year old he hasnt seen since she was 2 because of domestic violence reasons, owes a shit ton of child support, oh and hes in prison for the next 2 years for whatever reason (didnt know all this til after the break up) but i just know he'll have his parents do some sort of legal action. If anyone has taken away their ex So's rights how was the process? Any advice? Thanks!

freeatlast2014

If you aren't married do you even need to list him on the birth certificate? Is there a legal hotline you can call in your state?

MinnesotaMomma91

He might have to be present to sign the birth certificate to be put on it in the first place. Also check state laws, you might not be able to terminate his rights unless you have an adoptive parent lined up. I secon @mrslynnyd check if your state has a legal hotline, or check into legal aid.

Out of curiosity, what legal action are you concerned his parents will file for?

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20thirteen

I think it's cute you added "(no bashing)".  I totally understand why, though, some boards are filled with shitty bitches who want nothing but drama.

Like the others said, you can't sever parental rights.  I haven't heard of any state that will do that without an adoptive parent lined up for it.  My BD is not on DD's birth certificate and unless he takes me to court (or I get married and my husband adopts her), it's going to stay that way. I'm also curious what legal action you think his parents might take?  In my state, since BD and I were never married, his parents have no rights.  They can't file for grandparent's rights unless they prove BD is the father.  They haven't pulled any legal action against me because I send them pictures and updates (his mom and I are friends on FB).  That might be something you would want to ask legal aid, too, about grandparent's rights and what course of action they could *actually* take.  Also, do you still live in the same state as this guy or his parents?

MinnesotaMomma91

Yeah, most states dont have grandparent rights unless they can 1. Prove your bd is the father and/or 2. They can prove they have been involced with the raising of the child and it would be detrimental to the child for the child to no longer see them.

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tig594

In Michigan grandparents have no rights.  I'm not sure about severing your BDs rights, though.  You could not list him on the birth certificate.  Tell him you made a mistake and you don't think it's really his kid or something.  Either way, I'd do a free consult with an attorney.  Do your homework first, though, and don't just pick any old attorney out of the yellow pages.  

SilentSymphony

I never planned on putting him on the birth certificate, but i know for a fact hes going to contact his parents and tell them to do anything they can to push his way into controlling me legally. Hes fucking psycho (excuse my language) h e loves to watch people squirm under his thumb.

20thirteen

Do not think for one second any of us would be bothered by foul language. Swear all you like. If he's not on the birth certificate, you'll have to ask a lawyer or legal aid what his parents would be able to do if he did try to force them to take action of any kind. And, since I can't believe none of us said this yet, DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! You may not be able to sever his rights, but if you could prove that he is, in any way whatsoever, unfit to be a parent to your LO, you need to document everything. If you can, keep all communication in writing (text/email). Some states have weird restrictions on recording phone calls so I'd check that out too. You mentioned he was in jail? I would maybe see if they record phone calls and if there was a way to get your hands on the recordings. If not, keep a journal of date/times you speak with him on the phone and if it comes to it, your lawyer/legal aid rep could pull the recordings.

MinnesotaMomma91

Yes document document document. And really if you leave him off the birth certificate there will be a lot of hoops to jump through for him to get what he wants. Consult a lawyer/legal aid. Because sometimes having the lawyer or legal aid can be a deterant.

Finally dont let him see you squirm. Stand up to him. Do you want your kid to see you squirm in front of this guy or do you want your kid to see you as their protector who nothing can rattle just a thought.

20thirteen

MinnesotaMomma91 said:

Finally dont let him see you squirm. Stand up to him. Do you want your kid to see you squirm in front of this guy or do you want your kid to see you as their protector who nothing can rattle just a thought.

Yes. YES.  Put your foot down, but also, keep in mind that he may be getting the same kind of advice (i.e. to document everything).  Try not to say anything in the heat of the moment that might make you look bad on your end.  Keep your cool, stand your ground, and you let this guy know that YOU ARE BOSS. Not him.