Play date vent

brittanydec2012

I had a friend over for a coffee/play date (we became friends because her man and my DH are good friends). We don't always see eye to eye, mainly on my part because she's so laid back and sometimes says some rude things and doesn't realize that they can be hurtful. I'm more of a sensitive soul so I don't try to get too close to her as I know she would want to hang out every day if it was mutual on my side and I just honestly can't be around her that much or I would either be hurt by her or say something I would regret. Anyway.. sorry for the rant but I just wanted you to have some background knowledge on how close of a friend she is/isn't. We hang out more often now because we have babies the same age, we attend a mommy group together and are the only ones out of our group of friends who have children.

So back to the play date, I had her over along with her 2 daughters. We were sitting on the floor with our 2 babies laying on blankets and her 2 1/2 year old came walking up from behind me and threw my 8lb medicine ball on the floor, narrowly missing my LO's head! I know I maybe shouldn't have had it out but it was behind my end table and she she ahold of it. Neither of us seen her grab it but my friend did see the incident occur and all she did was ask her daughter if she was okay. I was pretty shocked that the whole thing happened but super happy it missed my baby's head as honestly I don't know what kind of damage that could have done and I don't even want to think of it. It was an accident and I know her daughter didn't mean anything by it, she was just playing but I was a little hurt that my friend didn't have any concern about my baby or didn't say anythibg to her daughter about not playing with the ball, or throwing things at babies heads.. Etc. anyway I may be over reacting, I'm not sure. I keep telling myself it's just how her personality is, she's very chill and I'm total opposite, hence why I find we clash so often. My heart was pounding and I am not the type to say anything anyway but I just know if my son did that right infront of me I would have definately showed concern for the child the ball would have harmed and then would have given him a little talk so he knew not to throw things at babies. I just needed to vent and tell someone as I was a little worked up. Sorry for the long post!

SandFHasse

Maybe that's how she parents, but my DD definitely would have been talked to. She has thrown one or two things at LO and has gotten in trouble for it. She also knows that if she throws something in somebody else's house it's a timeout. We were at a playdate the other day and the little boy threw a ball hitting both my kids, his baby sister and a vase. His mom only got mad when the vase was hit.

Anyways sorry the playdate didn't go to well.She doesn't sound like much fun to be around.

NenaMarie84

I agree with pp. You can't miss those chances to teach your toddler right and wrong.

peanutmuse

Hold on a minute. Yes, maybe the toddler should learn not to throw things at a baby's head, indoors, etc. But shouldn't an adult also learn not to have things out that a toddler would want to throw nearby? Like, say.... a ball? I know it's a medicine ball, but to a kid, a ball is a ball is ball. And it will be thrown.

brittanydec2012

peanutmuse said:

Hold on a minute. Yes, maybe the toddler should learn not to throw things at a baby's head, indoors, etc. But shouldn't an adult also learn not to have things out that a toddler would want to throw nearby? Like, say.... a ball? I know it's a medicine ball, but to a kid, a ball is a ball is ball. And it will be thrown.

Yes I did say I maybe shouldn't have had the ball out, my house isn't 100% toddler proof yet since I have a 4 month old who doesn't move yet. My vent wasn't about the toddler but my friend and her lack of reaction to my LO's wellbeing but to her toddler who was clearly fine. The ball was supposed to be hidden behind my end table, lessen learned on my part..

mommygrams0730

Well if she saw the whole thing, and your LO didn't react to the ball missing her head she probably thought your LO was just fine.

Personally I would have handled it better like pp suggested in telling my toddler she needs to be gentle and careful around babies, but if your LO wasn't crying over the situation I'm not sure I would have asked how your LO was.

I'm also the first to say, "oh be gentle/careful with/around the baby" to any child who is around my LO...even if their parent is right next to me or not. So if she didn't say it to her toddler I would have.

Eta: spelling

peanutmuse

brittanydec2012 said:

Hold on a minute. Yes, maybe the toddler should learn not to throw things at a baby's head, indoors, etc. But shouldn't an adult also learn not to have things out that a toddler would want to throw nearby? Like, say.... a ball? I know it's a medicine ball, but to a kid, a ball is a ball is ball. And it will be thrown.

Yes I did say I maybe shouldn't have had the ball out, my house isn't 100% toddler proof yet since I have a 4 month old who doesn't move yet. My vent wasn't about the toddler but my friend and her lack of reaction to my LO's wellbeing but to her toddler who was clearly fine. The ball was supposed to be hidden behind my end table, lessen learned on my part..

I read your post and understood all of that. My comment was actually more to the other responders than it was to you, honestly.

brittanydec2012

Had another coffee date/play date today. We went to a coffee shop and the babies were laying side by side for a photo on the couch. The 2 year old was giving them kisses on the cheek and it was so sweet. All of a sudden she put her finger on my LO's eyeball and pushed in hard. Naturally he screamed and I picked him up to console him and the mom actually jumped in and explained to her daughter that it isn't okay to touch babies on their face or push on them because it hurts them. I was thankful she dealt with it for once and usually her kids can never do wrong and she isn't the type to deal with things like that, at least from what I have seen. She usually just says her name once calmly and that's it. I was happy she dealt with it today!

MiaMyPuggle

I'm pretty uptight with my parenting and in life, generally. I DEFINITELY would have said something to my child if he were to have done that and apologized to the other mother profusely. I really wish I were more laid back and shrug things off bc I'm tired of being so tense. However, a medicine ball+baby's head=pretty dangerous, Miss Other Mom!

brittanydec2012

MiaMyPuggle said:

I'm pretty uptight with my parenting and in life, generally. I DEFINITELY would have said something to my child if he were to have done that and apologized to the other mother profusely. I really wish I were more laid back and shrug things off bc I'm tired of being so tense. However, a medicine ball+baby's head=pretty dangerous, Miss Other Mom!

That is how I am too @miamypuggle. If my LO harmed or came very close to harming another persons child I would feel awful and make sure I acknowledged it and dealt with it right then and there. If it's an accident it is still a good learning moment and a time to explain what is right, and wrong and why. I know I can't change the situation now that it already occurred I just needed to tell someone and have a vent moment as it was something that was bugging me after that day. I feel a lot better after seeing her actually deal with yesterday's incident.

SandFHasse

DD threw a rattle off the couch at DS's head yesterday. She got in a bit of trouble because it looked intentional. I know they're little, but why wait until they're older to teach them that its not ok to throw stuff at babies or anybody else? I'm glad she dealt with it better the second time.