First things first. If your unhappy in your relationship you should leave it. Being a single parent is better then being in an unhappy relationship. Also, if you feel you need the support of your family i suggest moving back closer to them. Thats what i did. Also a lot of being a single parent is doing what you think is best.
I am not very close with my family, so I am not sure it is worth the move across the country to live close to them. Maybe I will feel differently after the baby comes.
I think you've come to the right place for encouragement. I'm expecting in December, and have had 0 support from the BD. I can't give much advice because I'm still in the same boat but i don't think trying hard to make a relationship work will make being a parent any easier. If you'd like to keep in touch with someone going through the same thing right now, you are welcome to personal message me! I find myself feeling much better after hearing from others i'm not alone.
Your Be where your support is. If your family is your support go to family, if your support is your friends stay with your friends. This is do what you think is best situations.
My only advice is decide soon so you have six plus months to establish residency and your bd cant stop you from moving or force you to come back
Welcome. I wish you the best of luck...lots of hard decisions are ahead of you. I would suggest counseling or therapy for yourself so you can talk through all the details with a unbiased party. Plus with the hormones you will need it! Well, I know it helped me.
As for moving, trust your gut. You will need help so decide where you can best get that help (without relying on bd and bd's family) and stay/go there.
Lastly, if the relationship isn't working now with minimal stress, it will be 100 times harder with the stress of a child.
MrsLynnyD is 110% correct when she says if the relationship isn't working now it will be 100 times harder with a child involved. I wouldn't stay in the relationship if you aren't happy. Listen to your gut and don't ignore those warning signs. Keep in mind it will probably be you and your child that suffer, not dude.
As for being a single mom, it's hard but it can be done. I thought I'd have more support from my family but it didn't work out that way. I have minimal support from family, friends, and BD. We're making it work, though, and my daughter is happy and healthy and I wouldn't trade our lives for anything. If you aren't already a penny pincher you should start practicing now. There are advantages, too. I think you can get more money for schooling. Depending on where you live you can probably qualify for a home loan if it's just the two of you through USDA Rural Development if you don't make a ton of money. Here's the link https://www.rurdev.usda.gov/RD_Loans.html
I feel for you as I am going through something similar. I'm due January 9 and pseudo dating the BD with ups and downs that have been difficult to navigate. If you want to talk please feel free to personal message. Also when you wrote.. I want to make sure that I don't let my fear of being a single mom be a deciding factor in what I do going forward. That really resonates with how I've felt. I agree with the previous comment about therapy but it sounds like you're doing this. The objectivity from someone who is removed from the situation is something that is helping me so much. Congratulations I hope today has been a little easier than yesterday.
designchica
member
Re: .
Finally welcome to the board.
I am not very close with my family, so I am not sure it is worth the move across the country to live close to them. Maybe I will feel differently after the baby comes.
Thank for the reply. I am due in December as well (the 27th). I would love to stay in touch with you!
I will send you a personal message later when I get home from work.
My only advice is decide soon so you have six plus months to establish residency and your bd cant stop you from moving or force you to come back
As for moving, trust your gut. You will need help so decide where you can best get that help (without relying on bd and bd's family) and stay/go there.
Lastly, if the relationship isn't working now with minimal stress, it will be 100 times harder with the stress of a child.
Also when you wrote..
I want to make sure that I don't let my fear of being a single mom be a deciding factor in what I do going forward.
That really resonates with how I've felt. I agree with the previous comment about therapy but it sounds like you're doing this. The objectivity from someone who is removed from the situation is something that is helping me so much.
Congratulations