Late Term and Child Loss
hiimlou
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Heartbroken
hiimlou
member
I don't usually post on these forums, but my heart is aching and I guess talking it out may be helpful.
My husband and I have been TTC for only about 4 months. However in April I had taken an ovulation test and it was all negative. I mentioned it to my GYN and she told me there was a chance I could be infertile. I was 29 and hadn't been trying long, so the fact that she had said that to me was a bit shocking- I didn't expect to hear that so soon. She advised that I take 2 more months of ovulation tests and go from there. I ended up not having a period at all in April, and HPT was negative 4 days after my expected period and figured I stop pregnancy testing, and start my ovulation testing once I get a period.
Either way, although that wasn't what I wanted to hear, my husband and I decided to refocus and leave it into God's hands. Fast forward to 3 weeks later, and I ended up being positive! I was about a month along!
It was right before my sister in law's wedding so we told immediate family because I was in the wedding party and couldn't drink. I also ended up having to tell people at work- I am a nurse practitioner and couldn't take care of some patients bc of the pregnancy. I also turned 30 recently, and some of my friends figured it out when they saw me only drinking water and ginger ale at my birthday party.
5 days ago I started to spot. Had to go to the ER, things looked OK initially (I'm almost 6 weeks now), but my HCG levels aren't rising high enough (I went from 3300 to 4000 to 4145 in 6 days total). I spoke to the GYN resident- it's not looking good bc they expect me to rise much more. I get my final repeat HCG tomorrow and have an ultrasound on Thursday. I am terrified, but I also feel so STUPID that I let the cat out the bag so early.
In the past 5 weeks I went from thinking I had a fertility problem (when I was actually pregnant), to experiencing the joy of pregnancy, only to have it blow up in my face. I feel sad, heartbroken, emotionally exhausted, and embarrassed. I feel like people are going to laugh at me because I was so silly to be happy about something that was just false hope...I think things will be finalized once I get my ultrasound in about 3 days, and we will talk options then, but I cannot stop crying...I really wanted this to work out. I know it could definitely be worse, and that I eventually need to dust myself off and try again, but this really, really sucks.
My husband and I have been TTC for only about 4 months. However in April I had taken an ovulation test and it was all negative. I mentioned it to my GYN and she told me there was a chance I could be infertile. I was 29 and hadn't been trying long, so the fact that she had said that to me was a bit shocking- I didn't expect to hear that so soon. She advised that I take 2 more months of ovulation tests and go from there. I ended up not having a period at all in April, and HPT was negative 4 days after my expected period and figured I stop pregnancy testing, and start my ovulation testing once I get a period.
Either way, although that wasn't what I wanted to hear, my husband and I decided to refocus and leave it into God's hands. Fast forward to 3 weeks later, and I ended up being positive! I was about a month along!
It was right before my sister in law's wedding so we told immediate family because I was in the wedding party and couldn't drink. I also ended up having to tell people at work- I am a nurse practitioner and couldn't take care of some patients bc of the pregnancy. I also turned 30 recently, and some of my friends figured it out when they saw me only drinking water and ginger ale at my birthday party.
5 days ago I started to spot. Had to go to the ER, things looked OK initially (I'm almost 6 weeks now), but my HCG levels aren't rising high enough (I went from 3300 to 4000 to 4145 in 6 days total). I spoke to the GYN resident- it's not looking good bc they expect me to rise much more. I get my final repeat HCG tomorrow and have an ultrasound on Thursday. I am terrified, but I also feel so STUPID that I let the cat out the bag so early.
In the past 5 weeks I went from thinking I had a fertility problem (when I was actually pregnant), to experiencing the joy of pregnancy, only to have it blow up in my face. I feel sad, heartbroken, emotionally exhausted, and embarrassed. I feel like people are going to laugh at me because I was so silly to be happy about something that was just false hope...I think things will be finalized once I get my ultrasound in about 3 days, and we will talk options then, but I cannot stop crying...I really wanted this to work out. I know it could definitely be worse, and that I eventually need to dust myself off and try again, but this really, really sucks.
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