Anyone else dealing with OH getting the blues?!

amberlowe08

I kept hearing all this fuss about how I may get the blues and depression. I feel pretty great, my OH however has turned depressed and is acting way over the top. It's gotten to the point where he doesn't want to leave the house and says that his life is over with. Our baby is super good and has been an angel but when he does cry it seems to send the OH over the edge sometimes. He seems to resent me now for the baby being here and won't even talk to me. He was super excited at first. I just don't understand. Ugh!

ho11yday

I don't have any good advice except that DH has admitted he gets down in the dumps mostly at night. For both him and DS2, I've been trying to keep the windows open.

cnbean

Try getting/letting him do something on his own. I felt that exact way after my first was born and doing something fun by myself helped. It kinda reminded me that life (aka fun) was not over, just different. My DH found that getting some time to play his video games really helped him.

stephierd81

Prior to LO being born we were very worried about me getting blues after baby due to me having history of depression. I've felt fine but have noticed my normally super laid back DH a little ruffled a few times. It's bothered me and made me sad to see him stressed. He is happy most of the time but it's just weird seeing him stressed. I've basically asked him what he needs or if he wants to just get out and ride to store or something by himself. He seems to regroup. Best of luck.

MissLadyTay

Men can def get post baby depression. Would he be open to counseling?

sheriot

"All this fuss about blues and depression" is kind of a real thing. A real thing that, if you check the thread titled "Baby blues.", you will see a lot of women actually experience.

I'm sorry your OH is having a difficult time. That must be very hard for you. I agree with pp's--have your OH get out for a bit or do whatever it is s/he needs to do to feel relaxed.

Wishing you the best.

momthatlifts

I was so scared my dh would end up like this. I even make sure we are extra quiet at night so he doesn't get overwhelmed with lack of sleep and all this new baby stuff. Luckily he loves every second of it. I'm sorry he is acting like this. I definitely think he should seek counseling.

gutsysneakers

I made sure my DH knew he wasn't abandoning us if he went out. Since then he's gone running every day, getting alone time for a good 2 hours. He also makes sure I get my "me time" every day.

Just curious, have you talked to him about any of this?

amberlowe08

I keep telling him to go out and do things, but he won't. I try to get us all to go out then and he refuses that as well. I've moved into the second bedroom that connects to the nursery to give him space. Last night he didn't even come say good night to us or anything. It's so upsetting. I also realized that we haven't even all three taken a photo together and the baby is 10 days old. He said that for the newborn pics scheduled tomorrow he just wants to take pics of the baby and none of all of us. Wtf! I will suggest counseling.. Although I can't even get him out of the house. A bunch of his college friends got together for a bachelor party this weekend and he couldn't go cause of the timing of everything. I'm sure that's not helping.

KBowen715

Men can be very emotional beings. Perhaps he a feeling sad over 'losing' you to someone else?

I agree- encourage him to get out by himself or with friends. Maybe a solo movie once a week or drinks with guy friends. My husband gets together with the local dads to be stupid and probably vent about the stress of marriage and parenthood. It keeps him in a light mood when things get stressful.