discipline

mamathompson7

Can I ask what is working for y'all? We were spanking at first, more like a swat, I promise, but then he started hitting when he would get angry, so we quickly took away spanking.

We do time out, and I only have to tell him once to go and he will sit until I tell him to come out. Usually, he has to go because he has taken a toy from Charlotte, or just flat out hit her. Here is how it goes down, and here is where you can see what the problem is....

Hunter takes a toy from Charlotte.

Charlotte cries.

I give it back and say, "We need to share". We emphasize the word "SHARE".

He either does it again, or just goes straight to phase 2 which is tantrum.

Time out.

"Hunter, come here...."

He sadly walks over to me.

I say, can you say the word "Share?" (Basically, I ask him to participate in the convo whether it is me asking him to repeat a word or phrase - no hit, share, no kick, or simply, "sorry, Charlotte")

He looks away. Refuses to say anything.

"Hunter, look at me, look at my eyes" 

His eyes look up and all around, everywhere except at me. It is actually hard to not laugh. 

"Do you want to go to time out?"

"no time out!" 

"Ok- say, "(insert phrase) or give her a hug"

Nothing.

Back to time out. 

Repeat.

He won't participate. Finally, I can get him to give her a kiss or something.

I just feel like nothing is working! Sometimes, he is just a meanie!!

bellelamb

That may be more than what a two year old can grasp, at two what's always worked for me is first time they do something wrong correct behavior, second time say no and remove the child from the situation, third time say no and time out.

How your handling it trying to get him to repeat what you say works great but not normally until over three and over.

But honestly I turn my head a lot with toy stealing arguing between my two that are close in age it's funny now to see the younger one stand his ground so well! Obviously I don't allow them to hurt each other but I do pretend not to see some of the times they smack eachother other wise I'd spend all my time being a ref.

littleredfish

Our routine is more like this.

-Wrong action/behavior done (ex: Hit somebody)

-Short explanation of the proper way to act (ex: Remember, you need to be gentle with mommy/daddy/friends...)

-Wrong action continues

-Stern reminder and warning that timeout will ensue if behavior does not stop

-Wrong action again

-Timeout for 1 minutes sitting down near me/on the stairs/wherever convenient to where we are

-Timeout is over; explanation of why timeout happened (ex: You were put in timeout for not being gentle with ________, we have to be kind to others)

-Expectation of "sorry" (ex: Now please say sorry to __________ for hitting)

Any further tantrum warrants a continued timeout until calm again, then we repeat asking for "sorry" and this continues until she says sorry, but that typically only takes 1 MAYBE 2 tries. Sorry is a word she grasps and can say easily, even if she says it without meaning it we let it slide at this age, but typically she seems quite remorseful and will usually hug us.

ELF4321

I've been lucky so far. DD is not a hitter or a biter. I've had to intervene a few times when she has grabbed something away from another kid, but she never puts up a fight when I tell her that she has to wait for her turn. She usually just finds something else to do. So far, I've only had to get to the full-name in a stern voice warning stage when she doesn't listen to instructions.

k4slr6

We are having the same problem and she won't stay in time out.  I brought it up at her 2 yr appt and her Dr said that some days will be great and then you will have the days that there are 12 time outs for the same thing.  She said for the not staying seated to put 2 chairs facing each other and sit knee to knee and sit there with her for 2 minutes since she is 2 now.  After a bit ask if mommy can get up and if she gets up say I guess I can't trust you to sit in time out I will have to sit here till you do.  I did that once last week and she got it.  She has been hitting DS and taking his bottle and pacifier.  I have found she thrives on reaction and if we don't give her one right away the behaviours stops pretty quickly.  Not always but more than before.  Usually I correct the thing she did wrong.  Next time she does it remind her nice touches or that the baby is sad that she took his bottle and show her the cup of milk that is hers and threaten time out.  the next time is time out.  If she is naughty in time out we threaten spanking.  What I have found that works the best is asking her to be my big helper and pointing out what she is doing is not a helper.