Help! Need older sibling to give some space

Tulips114

Sorry, I'm not a reg here or anywhere on TB anymore, but I have a question I'm hoping you ladies can help with. 

My girls are not 2u2 anymore, they are 18 months apart, 2.5 + a few months and 15 months. Lately DD1 has been hanging all over DD2. Smothering her, literally laying on top of her sometimes, pulling her feet out from under her when she's crawling or walking, hugging her from behind and pulling her down. She really isn't (always) trying to be mean, usually she's 'giving hugs and kisses' but it's too rough for DD2, she doesn't like it. She screams and ends up hitting, biting or pulling hair. Then DD1 ends up in a time out for not listening, because I've asked her repeatedly to leave her sister alone and she didn't. 

This is turning into a bad cycle and I think it's sending the wrong messages to DD1 when she thinks she's just giving hugs and kisses, but then she's getting in trouble. I've tried redirecting DD1, she just goes right back, I've tried redirecting DD2 to play somewhere else, DD1 will just follow. Any ideas how I can get DD1 to give her sister some space? TIA (and somewhat a pnr bc I've got to get back to work)

ETA: to add paragraphs

aliandchris

I feel you! This is currently the story of my life with a 2.9yrs DS and a 13 month DD. He is so good to her at times, sharing toys and finding her sippy cup....but most times, he is hugging her until she falls over, sitting on her, etc. She walked at 11 months so sometimes I think he believes she is older than she is. Tonight he clocked her in the stomach with a pillow and when he could see how upset I was, he cried and said "I love Catie! I so sorry!" Granted, she was laughing but I don't want him to think that just because he didn't hurt her this time doesn't mean he couldn't in the future. Like you said, most times they're just so excited and playing that the older one gets carried away. I've actually moved the little one into the living room with toys and a gate up and told the older to go In the playroom. He doesn't seem to protest when he sees he doesn't have immediate access to her. And I make a big deal of him being able to play with his toys without "the baby" touching everything. Ahh, the joy of two toddlers

LC122

Still working on this one. I'll get back to you if I discover a magical solution.

fitmom82

sometimes I join in, so if DD wants to tickle her little brother, I start tickling too so I can make sure it's being done gently, the same with hugs and kisses.  I also wait to intervene until DS clearly is upset, it surprises me often what he actually enjoys and wants to continue playing with her.  Those times I pick him up and tell DD that he's cranky/ tired/ needs a break and I walk away with him.