Is this just my hormones taking over?

rdonovan

I'm due with my second in October and my daughter will be 21 months at that time.  I had my 19 week check up today and starting crying on the way home.  This pregnancy was a surprise and while I"m so excited for another little one, I'm just so worried that I won't be able to love this new baby as much as I do my daughter. With my first pregnancy, I was so absorbed in all things pregnancy and it was all I thought about.  These days it's a miracle if I remember how far along I am!  I feel that I'm not as connected to this pregnancy as I was my first and I know part of it is probably because I'm much more busy chasing around a toddler. But I just feel guilty for feeling this way. Are these just my crazy pregnancy hormones talking or has anyone else felt this way?  Thanks Ladies!

juniper75

I have two daughters 19 months apart and felt exactly like you are describing during my second pregnancy. Don't beat yourself up, its perfectly normal (and the hormones don't help). And the moment your 2nd little one is born your worries will disappear and you will know with certainty that you have more than enough love for both.

Things will be different for sure, having two is so different from just one so you likely won't be able to do for your 2nd everything that you did for your first. For example we have 20x the pictures of my first at this age than we do for our second. When that happens don't feel guilty - just remind yourself that its not because you love your 2nd any less its because your so damn busy!

MommyAtty

Mine are exactly that split. 21 months. And I felt exactly that way. I also had tremendous guilt that I was usurping my DD's special place in the world. But in my rational moments (I'm 4 weeks postpartum and sleep-deprived, so not all my moments are rational, lol), I see that I'm a better mom to them both precisely because I'm not so laser-focused on either of them. DD has really blossomed the last 4 weeks. She's a great helper and has become a great listener. She adores her brother. She also is more appreciative of attention since sometimes the answer is "you will have to wait a minute until your brother is finished with his bottle." And I love DS madly. I felt so disconnected during my pregnancy that I really worried. But he's a great baby and I can't really remember or imagine life without him.

ashiscute

Same here.  DD and DS are 19.5 mos apart and through my whole pregnancy with DS I felt like I couldn't possibly love him enough and that he was busting in on my and DD's time together.  (My pregnancy was not planned.)  However, as soon as DS was born I knew that I was wrong.  I love DS just like DD.  And also they love each other.  DD is so happy to have a brother and tells me everyday that DS is her best friend.  Yes, she does get less one on one time with me but all of the other positives outweigh it.  I know you can't see it now but you will be there soon.  Good luck!

AKB090609

Mine will also be 21 months apart, I will honestly say that only in the last few days have I known how far along I am because I'm in the less than 30 days count down). My worries all have far more to do with logistics than love. Love will come with time and as the baby develops a personality.