Insert scream here

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CaraH

Seriously? This seems like the kind of thing that should have come up before. Geez. I'm going to start hoping the perfect match has joined your agency and you will end up saying 'this one is even better than the first.'

lcwed

That's awful.  Seems like that is something that should have been disclosed in the donors initial application. What a headache.  Hoping for the best.

kelley72

Oh no it does sound like communication should have been addressed earlier than now. I'm sorry for the added frustration

Davie813

Here's your scream: GAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Seriously, as pps say, this seems like something that should have been dealt with long before now.  I'm so sorry!  Have you been able to talk with the nurse coordinator yet?

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Mrs.McIrish

Ticker warning*********************



This is why I hate donor agencies!!! I just don't get how they don't have to do any testing on these girls before someone picks them!! Once you pick them, you are stuck with that agency and whoever else they may have (unless you want to lose a sh!tloadof $$). It just isn't right. Ugh.... Rant about that over
Ok--as for the attachment to the donor, I have a few stories for that. I LOVED my first donor. She resembled me the most and I just liked her as a person from her profile answers. My nurse also constantly told me how great she was and that she was different from a lot of donors-truly cared about donating etc. I was devastated when our embryos were crap on day 5. Then I was so sad for her that she ended up in the hospital with severe OHSS bc the stupid clinic over stimmed her--for nothing--since it didn't work. Fast forward to my second donor-- I really liked her. I considered her the first time but she was already selected. So I chose the first girl. Now, I could use her. Well, she was a total flake and bailed out 4 days into stims. She sent them an email quitting (think Carrie Bradshaw---he broke up with me on a post it). I was soo angry at her. I picked another donor who I had zero connection with. Felt nothing....but maybe that was better since the ones I liked didn't work out. Got pg but miscarried. Finally my last donor, I just knew when I saw her baby pictures(all I get). She looked like she could be my child.. But then i miscarried again. i never thought these frosties. Would work and that I'd have to pick my 5th donor!! My point to all this is don't get too attached. I truly believe that you will get the baby you were destined to get and what donor you used will be less important over time. GL:-)

URMySunshine77

JimBobCooter said:

Someone confirm for me that we need to get over our emotional attachment to donor #1 and move on the the other girl.  My logical, this is a business decision head knows this to be true, but I feel like we're breaking up with someone.  

Ugh, man, @JimBobCooter. I get so emotionally wrapped up in decisions, too. If you decide to change donors for security and dependability, maybe you could look at the change from the perspective of, "the change was meant to be"? Sometimes I remind myself that a change might be fated for a positive reason.

tlc35

I don't have any good advice but I'm really sorry you are dealing with this.   GAH, so frustrating that they would let you pick someone that may have issues.

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CaraH

Hoo boy - getting over that emotional attachment is a tall order.  But, here's my try at helping...

Genes are quirky things anyway.  I have friends who adopted a baby knowing next to nothing about the birth parents.  That child looks EXACTLY like her adoptive father.  (And, I actually have more stories like that.  There's is just the eeriest.)  I have other friends with a biological child that is apparently a genetic throwback.  Their kid looks nothing like them, and you wouldn't be shocked to find out they'd adopted.

So, the more important thing is commitment and health.  It doesn't sound like you have either with this donor.  Time to break up and move on.

Samuelismomma

I agree with mrs.mcirish...maybe there is another donor out there that is carrying your future baby. I say break up and look with fresh eyes. So sorry your going through this, you don't deserve it:(....

BeckyP005

Ugh I am sorry you are dealing with this. Our first donor who we liked tested back positive for something and had to wait for another donor. The next donor wasn't perfect but in the end I just want a baby. We have slim pickings at my clinic. We don't see any pictures.

This whole process is so frustrating. Big hugs and I hope everything works out and your not delayed. These clinics really need to get their act together. You will love this baby no matter what eye or hair color as long as he/she is healthy. Hang in there...

ksgsmu

I am so so sorry! 

thirtyninetoforty

I am so sorry.  I can only imagine how frustrating that is.  I agree with everyone that, in the end, what you want is a healthy baby so don't stress over the donor.  Of course I have to use a sperm donor and, at first, I was all about the eye/hair color, height, etc until I realized it doesn't matter as long as the sperm performs

hooligans4

Hugs to you. I guess I'm in the minority but I would wait to see if your donor gets AF in a few days. You spent so much time picking her. But I wouldn't keep her if it turns out something is wrong. But if she just got off BC it could take a while for her cycles to come back. I know I went 3 months without AF when I came off the pill

latershrader

What a heartbreaking ordeal. I'm sorry you have to go through this. But as PP said, you will love any baby that comes your way. And DNA is funny sometimes, kind of like that "box of chocolate". You just never know!

TAT2MAMI

I think the awesome ladies on this board have given some great advice and there are great points that have been made. I think that I would move on to a new donor. I know that you've become attached, but why take the risk AND waste a ton of money? I'm so sorry that you're going thorugh this. It must be so frustrating! Sending you hugs!! xo

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ewenner

Oh my goodness.  I'm so sorry you're going through all of this.  It sucks that you will have to wait until August now.  I hope that the third donor will work out for you.  

BeckyP005

{{HUGS}}

URMySunshine77

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with all of this. :-(

KirstenAlecia

oh no good! I hope it works out!

CaraH

Oh no! I'm so sorry this had turned in to such a setback.

Davie813

Ugh! So sorry this process is turning out to be so complicated. I really believe it will be worth it in the end, though,

lcwed

Oh how horrible.  My heart is breaking for you guys right now.  Hopefully this is the last hurdle and August can be your month.

ScubaMomma

Samuelismomma said:

I agree with mrs.mcirish...maybe there is another donor out there that is carrying your future baby. I say break up and look with fresh eyes. So sorry your going through this, you don't deserve it:(....

Couldn't have put it better myself!  All the best to you and in the end, all of your struggles will be worth it.  Don't give up hope.