The fears I had about having a second child....

Stowne101

Did not come true... Well only the labor and delivery part. I really wanted an epi this time but barely made it to the hospital and no time for meds. I know that having or not having a second is often discussed on here.... So I thought I'd share my thoughts. So our children are 4 1/2 years apart. When our first was born it was a huge shock to our systems. I love him but it seemed to change everything about our lives. We were very apprehensive about having another. We didn't exactly plan the second but were surprised. Well DH and I were talking about it last night. Having our second seemed to balance us out. Our first DS absolutely loves his brother and never has had a "can we send him back" moment. And as far as DH and I are concerned we feel like our second was our missing link. His entrance to our family has been pretty smooth. I think it helps for the most part he is pretty calm and easy. We totally feel like our family is complete, I kind of always felt like there was one missing and never got rid if our baby items. I am not saying that this is how it is for everyone, but adding a second can be great.

Stowne101

Ya in regards to age difference I know a lot of people want them close together, but 4 1/2 years has been awesome. My 4 year old is so independent and understands he needs to wait.

erind0213

So far the transition from 1 to 2 hasn't been to terrible, DS is pretty easy going which is great cause DD ... or big sister(40 months apart)  as she refers to herself is rather demanding. What has been tough is the fact the my husband is works nights with rotating days off. I came home on a Thursday and he was back to work by Saturday. So no help at night and most days DH sleep during the days so I only get my break in the evening.

I must give myself credit cause I have really held it together pretty well, I haven't really asked for much help and when I do it's usually not an issue. The only thing that has been getting to me lately is a lack of sleep catching up since DS isn't sleeping through the night yet.  DD also go with MIL once a week and spend 2 mornings with the sitter so I have just DS and I bonding time.

I am still not ready to say this is it for us.... but not jumping on the bandwagon to go from a 2-3 kids any time soon.
 It will be very interesting when I go back to work. 

ProudMommy030614

Going from 2 to3 has been tough, idk maybe we are out of practice! There's 8 years between ds2&3, I feel like a ftm at times!

teachermommy9967

Having had twins first I went from 2 to 3 and feel that it was an easy transition. The twins entertain themselves most of the time and at 2.5yrs are independent enough to make caring for all 3 much easier.

SmittyPants

I was expecting Armageddon so the fact that it's more like purgatory is a nice surprise. 

MA&CB

Our boys are 4 1/2 years apart also, and it's been really great.  Some people had 'warned' me about how hard it was going to be to go from 1 to 2 kids, but it hasn't been any more challenging than it was the first time around.  Like yours, DS1 is an amazing big brother.  There is not an ounce of jealousy or resentment there, just love, love, love for his baby brother.  DS1 is independent and helpful also.  We waited so long to minimize having two in daycare, and sometimes it was hard to wait and I worried about the big gap, but now I'm so thankful that we waited because it's been so great.

Stowne101

@MA&CB agree about the daycare and college too