Baby shower question ...

zamboni00 · May 2014

Mine will be in August (due 11/18) because my SIL will be visiting from across the country. Early for sure, but we're having twins, so I also wanted to be sure I won't be too miserable yet

AnnieRoo13 · May 2014

Nfranco973 said:

I've heard people say that they don't want to have too many showers. I'm guessing for ppl that have kids close together in age. Question, is it because the children are close in age and you maybe would feel like you are mooching? Cause I did hear something like that over on the bs board. Like it's unethical or something. I believe every baby should be showered individually. I mean to me it's not all about the gifts. It's about family, friends, food and being around the people you love at such a great time in your life. Although gifts are nice but I don't expect to get the whole babies r us ?! U kno wAt I mean? Is there such rule?

I think sometimes it's a regional/cultural thing. I have never heard of anyone around here having a shower for second/third/fourth babies, but I have read that this is common other places. I personally wouldn't have a shower for a subsequent child, but I know that others do- to each their own. But the baby shower board certainly has an opinion on it!

Nfranco973 · May 2014

AeandJb said:
@NFranco973 If you read the BS board, they say repeat showers are gift grabby. "Showers are to welcome the MTB into motherhood. After the first baby they are already a mother and cannot be rewelcomed."

I think each baby should be celebrated and each pregnancy, but I see their point. If I have a second child, I'll do a greet the baby thing after it is born.

What I don't like is the people who have the baby, sell all the stuff, get pregnant by accident (you know how it happens.), and throw a shower because they sold all of their stuff. Within a year. Not 10 years or anything, that is understandable to sell stuff.

Yes, exactly what I got when I read the bs board. Although, I enjoy the shower just for the time I get catching up with family and sharing all the joys of pregnancy with them. Lol @ ppl selling their stuff. I do think that's tacky. I always end up passing the good stuff along to Salvation Army or friends that are expecting, etc. I think it has many meanings depending on cultures as well. Many ppl have the greet the baby after it's born. They don't believe in having anything till after the baby is born.

mtusnow · May 2014

I think the timing partially depends on availability (yours and your guests) and if you (or others) will be traveling.

My MIL wanted to throw mine 1-1.5 moths before my due date. I'll be flying one way and riding in the car ~9hrs for the return trip and I said that I didn't want to plan to do that any later than 2 months before baby is born so she planned it almost exactly 2 months before. I think this will work out well because it will also give us time to get the last of the items on the registry that we need but didn't get at the shower.

Also, one of my friends gave birth about 2 weeks after we threw her the shower - seems like we were cutting it a little too close. (I think she gave birth about 3 weeks early). My mom had me 2 weeks early so I feel like it's good to all ready about a month ahead of time - I tend to be a super organized planner though, so I'm sure some other personality types would have different thoughts.

absolutelymaybe · May 2014

Mine will be between 28-32 weeks. I wanted to wait until after we had a good chance of viability, but not too long since twins tend to come early (average is about 36 weeks) and I don't know what kind of condition I'm going to be in those final few weeks.

KTgator · May 2014

I'm having one in September with my sis (she is due late November and I'm due early nov). She's flying in from California (the rest of the family lives in fl) for the shower. We want to make sure to do it early enough so she can still fly.

kstirton · May 2014

My friend that offered is throwing me one and she lives out of town, so it will really just depend on when she can make it here to have it - but I'm guessing all of mine will be 6-7 months in. I want to have enough time to get the things I didn't receive, get the nursery set up and all that. I know of a lot of women who ended up having their babies before their showers so none of that for me if I can help it.

emoxymoose · May 2014

sparklingwhit said:

@NFranco973 I agree that each baby should be celebrated individually, but let's be honest, the shower is more for the mom. The baby is not there to be "celebrated". Also, I think that registering for a second child is completely tactless.

Basically, I have friends who have had a second child and we still get together to celebrate and we usually bring a couple clothing items or things like that, but there is nothing official, and certainly no registry.

I'm not having a shower, but I definitely registered for this baby (my second) under a fake name. It was an easy way to make a shopping list of the few items I needed, an easy way to show every to DH in one spot and I want that 10% completion coupon.

nespinosa0098 · May 2014

I want to have mine in September. Im due end of.November. I.just want to give myself at least a couple months to get the items I didnt receive at the shower.tMy sister is.having hers 1 month before she is due and I just believe there is no time to get anything after that.

CarrieAnne09 · May 2014

I have NEVER been to a shower before the baby was born. I wonder if its a geographical thing??

I don't think it's strange or anything just everyone I know did theirs after. Mine will also be after the baby is born.

mockingjay1 · May 2014

My SILs want to throw me a shower. I really super appreciate the thought, but I hate being the center of attention. My wedding shower was the most awkward thing I've ever been to. I don't want to seem like a brat by saying no thanks, so I'm sure I will have a shower.

One of my SILs is out of state and is coming in mid July for something and asked if we could do it then. I'd be 22 weeks. Um baby is not even viable yet? Maybe I'm a little jaded from work, but I was so surprised I felt like I was stuttering. She was fine with doing it in September, which I preferred.

emoxymoose · May 2014

dmo1371 said:

My SILs want to throw me a shower. I really super appreciate the thought, but I hate being the center of attention. My wedding shower was the most awkward thing I've ever been to. I don't want to seem like a brat by saying no thanks, so I'm sure I will have a shower.

One of my SILs is out of state and is coming in mid July for something and asked if we could do it then. I'd be 22 weeks. Um baby is not even viable yet? Maybe I'm a little jaded from work, but I was so surprised I felt like I was stuttering. She was fine with doing it in September, which I preferred.

I had mine at 24 weeks because it was convenient for those out of town. Why does the baby need to be viable to have a shower?

nfanoli · May 2014

we are due around 11/25 and I think we will be doing my shower like sept 21

runningmama14 · May 2014

I'm afraid I'm going to end up having too many showers! I live 3 hours from my family, so 1 shower there. I also have my group of girlfriends from my knot local board in my hometown. We always do our own showers, just us, so there is 2. I have a group of friends here that I play bunco with, and they want to do their own bunco shower. There's 3. My boss's wife told me the other day that she would really like to throw me shower for work friends, professional colleagues and church friends (we go to the same church). There's 4. I'm assuming that my ILs will throw a shower, although they didn't throw me a bridal shower (long story that makes them look like assholes, but DH doesn't see it that way). If they actually do one, that would be five freaking showers.

I'm inclined to say no to my boss's wife, but not because I don't want her to. I just can't comprehend having that many showers. I'd also hate to hurt her feelings. She really wants to.

I guess I better start having mine soon if in going to fit them all in!

mslynn2012 · May 2014

I had mine at 7.5 months.

I won't be having a shower with this one. 2nd showers aren't done in my circle of friends (which is fine by me!)

lil_shocker · May 2014

I had one at 35 weeks and then I had another one with DH's family after my son was born (more of a meet baby party- they live a ways away and my work was insane so I couldnt take off and leave)

I had my son just shy of 37 weeks, so I didnt have time to get everything prepared. I would say one month away at latest and maybe 2 months as optimal time. I liked having the meet baby party though, because I am not one for cheesy games and it was nice to be able to show my son to family we dont get to see often.

carafern · May 2014

My friends here had offered to throw a shower and we are moving when I'll be 24 weeks, so it would have to be pretty early. Is it weird to have one so early? I'd like to minimize the gifts (because we're moving, and it will be more stuff to move, and because I'm in grad school so most of my friend are also on grad student budgets). I was thinking of stealing the book as card idea but make it children's book as gift and not share the registry with them (I've started a registry, mostly for myself and maybe for the shower that my sisters will throw later).

want2bhomestead · May 2014

So glad someone brought up the shower question, it has already become a source of contention for my friends! Some of my friends decided to throw me a 'pregnancy' shower in June (im due in nov) to get me things like a pregnancy pillow, massages and things like that...

THEN my group of friends in LA (I just moved from LA recently) decided to throw me one when i come to visit at the end of June.

Now another group of friends wants to host my 'real' shower about a month before I deliver.

It's been kinda nuts! I really appreciate everyone wanting to throw me showers, loving all the support but also feeling a little overwhelmed and guilty that people will be invited to multiple showers and might feel expected to bring multiple gifts...

huntress17 · May 2014

This being my second baby but oh's first people were on the fence with me getting one. But because it's my oh's first they want to throw me one. Mostly cause we want to do cloth diapers and want the baby to have some of it's own things that aren't hand me downs. (Me and my sister have girls-girl hand me downs and my other sister has a boy-boy hand me downs). But we don't know what the baby is just yet. Hoping to find out in a couple if weeks with the scan

mockingjay1 · May 2014

emoxymoose said:

dmo1371 said:

My SILs want to throw me a shower. I really super appreciate the thought, but I hate being the center of attention. My wedding shower was the most awkward thing I've ever been to. I don't want to seem like a brat by saying no thanks, so I'm sure I will have a shower.

One of my SILs is out of state and is coming in mid July for something and asked if we could do it then. I'd be 22 weeks. Um baby is not even viable yet? Maybe I'm a little jaded from work, but I was so surprised I felt like I was stuttering. She was fine with doing it in September, which I preferred.

I had mine at 24 weeks because it was convenient for those out of town. Why does the baby need to be viable to have a shower?

I don't think it has to be, that is just my preference. I know it's not very likely, but I see at work way too often babies that are born 20-23 weeks. My SIL is the only one that doesn't live close to the rest of our family, and she doesn't mind putting it off until September. She comes back often anyway because her parents live in the same state as mine and DH's families, so it works out well for everyone.

I think I was just really surprised, since I've never known someone to have a shower as early as she was offering. Like I said, I'd just prefer to have one a little later, but it's whatever a person is comfortable with or that works for them and their friends/family.

Nfranco973 · May 2014

You guys may think I'm weird but I don't like the registry idea, even for a first. I think it's kind of tacky. For my first shower, I

emoxymoose said:

dmo1371 said:

My SILs want to throw me a shower. I really super appreciate the thought, but I hate being the center of attention. My wedding shower was the most awkward thing I've ever been to. I don't want to seem like a brat by saying no thanks, so I'm sure I will have a shower.

One of my SILs is out of state and is coming in mid July for something and asked if we could do it then. I'd be 22 weeks. Um baby is not even viable yet? Maybe I'm a little jaded from work, but I was so surprised I felt like I was stuttering. She was fine with doing it in September, which I preferred.

I had mine at 24 weeks because it was convenient for those out of town. Why does the baby need to be viable to have a shower?

I think this pertains more to women who have had a loss history. This is also one of my concerns because my last preg was a loss and it worries me a bit.