Don't think I'm being cheap...

amd1982

So here's the deal - I invited a high school friend of mine to my shower back when I was pregnant with the twins. She responded yes, that she was attending, and then two weeks prior texted me saying she forgot it was her cousins wedding and she was a bridesmaid (how do you forget that haha) and was sorry but she couldn't attend. Totally fine, no big deal. We had recently gotten reacquainted through mutual friends so I invited her more as a courtesy anyway. However over the past year we've hung out a bunch more times with our old group. She texted me for a few weeks after the shower asking me about what colors I was planning for in the twins room. And she made a reference to getting them a gift for their room. It never showed up, and I wasn't really bothered by it. Whatever right? Will fast forward to now, and she got pregnant accidentally by her boyfriend. Which is great, I'm happy for them as they are both thrilled so I think it's wonderful. However now I'm invited to her shower, and forgive me if this sounds wrong, but DH and I have a crapload of expenses at the moment. I'd like to attend the shower (which is at her parents home) since many mutual friends will be there, but I don't necessarily think I need to spend $50 on her baby and she made no effort to get anything for mine. Is this really bitchy and cheap? Should I just get her a little something and not worry about it? Or should I just not attend. I'm torn as to what to do here. Thanks!

gnl42

If I wanted to go to the shower, then I would go and be the bigger person by bringing an appropriate gift. Alternatively, if I really wasn't good friends with this person and didn't care about attending the shower, then I would just skip it. To me, those are the two options... so it really depends on how much you actually want to go ?! 

MoFree

If you want to attend the shower bring a small gift. There are many useful and attractive baby gifts for under $10.

CarrieB.

I'd say just stick a bow on a box of diapers if you want to go.

imoverit

I really never spend over $20 on baby gifts. You can get 3 piece carter baby outfits at costco for around $8.50. So you could do an outfit and a book. Good enough. The price of a gift should not be a reflection of anything imo. Like Ducky referenced, just do what you can afford.

Ruthie04

I agree with PPs about doing what you can afford. I received several beautiful and expensive gifts that were never used and many less expensive and practical gifts that were so thoughtful. As a mom to young children, you have a unique insight into some of the newer essential baby items. I think you can do a great gift in your budget without any concerns of violating shower etiquette.

kmc84

I like the box of diapers idea! Or, you can put together a cute little basket of inexpensive baby items and make it look 'pricier'.

TJ1979

Ducky719 said:

I am a firm believer in giving what you can afford. If you want to go, go! And give her a bru gift card or something. Every little bit helps!

If you don't want to go, then don't. I would still send a gift but that's just me. I'm sure you don't have to. :-)

This!

pb_bride

I would go to the shower and bring a gift that you can afford.

VegasGal1978

You should go, if you want. Bring a gift that fits your budget. I'm not a believer in spending more than you can really afford.

ccam

If you want to go to the shower, I would go and spend what you can afford. 

CMDR513

BRU has a lot of their clothes on sale. I would pick up an outfit or two.

kbeach82

Ruthie04 said:

I agree with PPs about doing what you can afford. I received several beautiful and expensive gifts that were never used and many less expensive and practical gifts that were so thoughtful. As a mom to young children, you have a unique insight into some of the newer essential baby items. I think you can do a great gift in your budget without any concerns of violating shower etiquette.

This!

amd1982

Thanks ladies - i purchased a nice little basket on sale at Michaels and filled it with bath stuff from her registry. It ended up being like $45, which I thought was fine (not overboard, but nicer than I needed to be haha). I always seem to end up being "the bigger person" so although it bugs me sometimes, it simultaneously makes me feel better to know that I don't hold a grudge. Oh well!