The time has come

blackbird818

Well here I am. I have been putting off this intro (total denial), but the time has come. My TB one year anniversary badge (woo.to.the.hoo) last night sealed the deal. Confession, I've been dirty lurking over here for months but have been dragging my feet to actually intro.

Background Summary: Me - 30, H - 41. Married August 2012, Started TTC Sept 2012. I have very irregular cycles and hardly ever O on my own. Before my mc, I took a HPT ever month because I wasn't temping and did not get AF from Nov (AF in Nov was Provera induced after 60 days) to my mc on May 1. Bc of this dating is unsure, and my 1st Dr appt was scheduled for 2 days after the day I miscarried. But going off of what would have been implantation spotting I was between 7-8 wks with a EDD of 12/10/13. I did not received my first post-mc AF until 11 wks later again having to use Provera. After that my OB ran some tests & it came back (unsurprisingly) showing PCOS. H finally had his SA done 7 months after my OB wrote the lab order; he came back all normal. So we tried 3 medicated cycles (Fe + HCG) with my OB with poor results. Mostly due to inadequate lining. Even after adding Estrogen to the 3rd cycle regimen, we actually cancelled the trigger shot due to thin lining. My OB recommended moving on to an RE at this point. I actually scheduled an appt but later cancelled it bc of the emotional stress & anxiety I was having. So we are NTNP/trying on our own indefinitely until I'm emotionally ready. But as I'm currently on my 7th (??I'm losing count??) round of Provera (cd68) in less than 2 years, getting pg is not likely to happen naturally.

Non-TTC: I'm a country girl in rural Oklahoma. H & I raise cattle and spend alot of time at livestock shows, which is actually where we met. We have 4 dogs (Ava, Buck, Cooper, & Gizzy). I love DIY projects and crafting. And I love my wine.

So I think that about covers it in a nutshell. If you've made it this far, much love to you!!

And lots of chocolate goodies


I hope you lovely ladies will have me.
:-h

LaRomana09

I just got my anniversary badge, too.  Wanna share an anniversary toast?  (((HUGS))) and welcome.

blackbird818

Thanks @LaRomana09. (((((HUGS))))) and we're definitely going to need

MyFirstRaspberry

Welcome blackbird. ((hugs)) 

jbasore1123

Welcome lady. So sorry you have to join this side

buggirl72

Welcome and ((((hugs)))).

I'm going to echo what snegde said. Remember that an RE is an endocrinologist that specializes on the reproductive side of that branch. He is an expert on hormones and yours are not playing nice with you. Maybe approach the idea of an RE appointment as getting your PCOS treated - to get you ovulating and to not need provera to jump start every cycle.

blackbird818

Thank you ladies for the welcome!

@snegde & @buggirl72 you both make good points. I guess I'm just so scared of finding something else wrong. Every Dr. appt so far has just been bad news after bad news.I know burying my head in the sand isn't the answer, and eventually I'm going to have to face it head on. You're right, Bug; maybe I need to look at it from a different aspect bc my hormones are definitely not playing nice. Thank you both so much for the encouragement!!

MyFirstRaspberry

blackbird818 said:

Thank you ladies for the welcome!

@snegde & @buggirl72 you both make good points. I guess I'm just so scared of finding something else wrong. Every Dr. appt so far has just been bad news after bad news.I know burying my head in the sand isn't the answer, and eventually I'm going to have to face it head on. You're right, Bug; maybe I need to look at it from a different aspect bc my hormones are definitely not playing nice. Thank you both so much for the encouragement!!

@blackbird818 ((hugs))  Coming to grips with going to see an RE is difficult. Another reason I held off going to an RE for a long time was cost. Finally, MH and I sat down, looked at our finances and put a number on paper. That was the number we were willing to spend on treatment. I felt less overwhelmed with the scary costs knowing we both had agreed on a number. I can only go that far and we won't go in debt, we won't lose the house, etc.

I totally understand your fear of bad news. Even going to the RE brought me bad news. However, I have no idea when I would of found out that I had retained tissue if my RE didn't test my blood. What if the tissue is a molar? What if the tissue got infected? What if the infection damaged my uterus or tubes?  Scary thoughts!

I don't want to pressure you into seeing an RE, but when you and YH are ready, we will be here to cheer you on when you are scared. You are not alone.

blackbird818

@MyFirstRaspberry thanks friend!! (((((((HUGS)))))) :-*

And TBH the money part scares me too. I'm kind of a penny-pincher, and H & I aren't made of money. After I looked over the cost breakdown sheet in my new patient packet, the harsh reality of the costs involved set it. I think that really pushed my anxiety overboard.

Sitting down as a couple and agreeing to a reasonable dollar amount we can afford is a great idea.

jap618

((hugs)) I'm so sorry you have to be here hun  

Welcome to this side.  This size seems fitting

Rachaeleigh

Welcome! Sorry you have to be here

blackbird818

@jap618‌ perfect size love!!!! Thank you!! :x >:D< :-*

EKGibs

Welcome!

shandorfml2

Welcome, sorry your on this side. Maybe a silly question but are you on meteformin?

blackbird818

@shandorfml2‌ no I'm not on metaformin. It's something my OB mentioned that an RE would likely suggest with my PCOS & history of irregular cycles.

shandorfml2

blackbird818 said:

@shandorfml2‌ no I'm not on metaformin. It's something my OB mentioned that an RE would likely suggest with my PCOS & history of irregular cycles.

That's suprising. It's been a life saver for me. I went from having 70 day cycles to 30 in a few months, and ovulating. I think it would be a great place to start