DH & Naps

SomersIsles

It seems like whenever DH is with Robert his main objective is to get him to nap. I'll nurse him and hand him off... DH will change him and then lay him down next to him... Put him in his swing... Put him in his bouncy chair... Etc.

When I'm home alone with R I nurse, change his diaper, do some tummy time, "chat" with him, get him to smile, hold him upright (he loves that)... THEN when I notice he's getting tired I try to get him to fall asleep.

Anyone else?

Andplusalso if DH isn't doing this... Then it seems like he's forever busy during Robert's awake time... And suddenly available once R goes down for a nap...

Like today...
DH: I'm gonna get some work done in the yard...
Me: can you wait until he goes down for a nap?
DH: Why?
Me: Cuz otherwise it's 100% me taking care of him/tethered to him... When I want to get stuff done during the week, I wait until he's asleep...
DH: ... confused blank stare....

I keep explaining this to DH and he doesn't seem to get it...

spark88

Mine is opposite. I am trying to get her to sleep and he comes in and talks and tickles her. He has learned his lesson on not waking a sleeping baby.

SomersIsles

sarahpark89052 said:

Mine is opposite. I am trying to get her to sleep and he comes in and talks and tickles her. He has learned his lesson on not waking a sleeping baby.

That was my mother when she came to visit... Plus she has a bad habit of talking way louder than appropriate without realizing it.

novelblessings

DH usually just wants to hold DD when he is watching tv or messing with his phone. I always tell him that if she is awake he should interact with her but it's always the same thing.

Also when she is upset DH will get all up in her face and say "hey, hey, what's wrong" in a not so soft and calming tone. I remind him every time that the way he says it doesn't help but he never gets it.

twinlove314

Glad to hear it's not just my hubby. Earlier today, he had just changed one of the twins diapers (said baby was perfectly content being held on the way back from the nursery) . Hubby went straight to the mamaroo and strapped him in. He immediately started fussing, so dh looks at me like what do I do. After he tried all of the different settings on the mamaroo and still looked confused, I mentioned picking him up would probably calm him down, and it did. I try to let dh figure or his own ways to soothe, but goodness, babies like to be held sometimes

Khope87

Yes, yes, yes, all of the above! I exclusively pump for my LO, which means that in the evening my DH unfortunately has a lot more put on him than most.... If she's awake and I need to pump, I ask him to take care of her (in uk so we have to buy our own pumps.... So only have a single (but electric!! Yippee!!) one you have to hold as opposed to putting in a bra....) he does the above and is constantly just trying to make her sleep unless I say PLAY WITH HER!!! Grrrr!

Once I'm done expressing I always then give him the choice - either sort the house or take care of her. Most of the time her chooses to do house things. So then I literally have to say do this, then that, then the other, else he is sat back down on his bum with the iPad whilst there washing that needs doing, bottles that need washing and dinner that needs cooking.... Very frustrating!! To any of you girls, I'm sure you could walk in at any point and see all these small jobs (and do them in half the time it takes him!) without me pointing them all out. I don't think he gets that they are tasks I have to do every few hours..... Not save them up for when he's back....

My LO has a lovely awake period in the evening and she's such a happy smiley baby I don't get why he doesn't want to hang with her?!

clo1982

Dh has been like this with both kids. Or he will sit and watch TB then get all huffy when they fuss. I always say they don't really care that he wants to watch tv. I've just started making comments like 'you are home for 2 hours of awake time...why don't you play with the baby instead of trying to get him to sleep?' It's passive aggressive, I know, but it drives me nuts. @AddisonsMOM‌ I can't tell you how many fights we have had in our 3 years of being parents about how I am ALWAYS on a timer but he can leisurely do his things with no expectations as far as time. If I take 5 minutes in the shower then actually dry my hair it is always 'wow that took longer than I expected.' Oh really what was my allotted time period for showering today??!! Everything I do has some predetermined time allotted to it and if he has the kids, I always go past it.

CruiseGirl28

I just think it's funny when he's holding her and I'm doing things around the house and he says: my arm's tired, I'm thirsty, I have to go to the bathroom, I'm stuck on the couch, etc. I always say, "How do you think I feel all day?"

maganonymous

CaseAndDave said:

Yes. DH is always trying to find a way to put him down. WTF do you have to do that is so important? You can surf the internet with one hand.

I could pretty much copy and paste this as my husband...except instead of the internet, it's with Minecraft. I couldn't tell you how many times I have found DD laying on the floor next to him wiggling around because "she was shaking my arm too much" when he is playing his game...gamer men...

CactusGirl

I get super annoyed with my H when he puts her in the swing when she's wide awake and wants interaction. Now and then is fine, I do it too, but he always does it. It's so irritating.