Loss... Now what?

melissamc14

I took a positive pregnancy test on Monday. We were not trying, but I haven't been on the pill in years so I assumed I really couldn't conceive. I also take progesterone a couple weeks out of the month to balance out my high estrogen levels. Another reason I though I couldn't get pregnant. I called the dr to have blood work done because I take hormones... Just to see if everything was ok. Well I get a call that my hCG is only 16 when I'm almost 5 weeks. That's all the girl told me, but I know that's not good. I took another pregnancy test and it was negative. Obviously, my levels have dropped. I'm so sad, and scared that I won't have another shot at this. I know obviously something was wrong, and I want a healthy baby but, I've been on such a roller coaster of emotions this week. Has anyone experienced such an early loss?

Melissa

lexusolsen

I'm so sorry for your loss. Most of the people on this board have had late losses. I think you might find people in a similar situation on the miscarriage board.

melissamc14

Thanks! I am new at this, clearly.

lexusolsen

@melissamc14‌ it's no problem. Some people here have had both early and late losses. I just think you might get more responses over there. I think you are welcome to post on either board.

JellicalParker

I just dealt with a m/c at 4w 5d (5/6/14). It was a rather stunning and shocking experience, I did however know for almost three weeks at that point. We got multiple positives on 4/17/14. As soon as I called my dr they congratulated me and scheduled my first appointment for 8w. Now, I'm seeing and calling my OB/GYN at least once a week to make sure my levels go back down. 
I know what you mean by thinking that you couldn't conceive. My husband and I hadn't been doing anything to prevent pregnancy for over a year when we got our BFP. I kept thinking that there was something wrong with me and I was so excited to get that positive. I hope that now that I am seeing a dr regularly that we can actually try now. 

It's definitely hard. I also had a mc at 7 weeks when I was much younger, but never went to a dr because of the dangerous situation I was in at the time. That was about 6 years ago, and I still wonder about that little one... I named him, I always thought that baby was a boy and I actually got into writing him letters when I was really missing him. I have a collection of letters that eventually, when I'm ready I will release somehow. 

I think the early m/c can be just as hard but in a different way. You have just enough time to become attached. I actually ended up in the hospital and on sick leave for a week with my latest loss and its not something I will soon forget, I miss my little new year angel but now I have days where I just want to try right now even though we are still monitoring my hCG levels. And there are days, when I just want to curl up in a ball and forget that anything else exists. I haven't figured out how to deal with this particular loss yet, I'm heavily considering talking to a therapist!

I am sorry to hear of your loss.