I have a huge irrational fear

MNgirl326

I have this horrible fear that the sperm they gave me at the RE clinic wasn't DH's but it was someone else's.

I know this is ridiculous, but for the first IUI it was done at my OB's office and as far as I know we were the only IUI patients that morning.  BUt for this IUI we had to go to an RE clinic because it was a sunday.  There were soooo many couples there that morning.

I know its irrational, and I know they had me check the names on the vial before we did the IUI but I still have this feeling. 

With my first we got pg naturally, so there was no question, but this time sometime I basically had to trust that everyone did their job correctly.

 

beachy6

MH and I have been irrationally wondering if the embryos they put back were ours. I think it's a normal fear when you are trusting others to do something so personal. Plus, I think that when IF'ers finally find success, it's hard to believe, so we automatically think something must be wrong.

You're not alone! I'm sure they used the right sperm. There are lots of measures they take to assure that it's a match! Try not to worry, although I know it's easier said than done!!

sunflowermama42212

For a spilt second I asked my husband about how can we really trust them? Even with an ivf transfer I wondered if the embryo even existed. I just kept telling myself that they would have a huge law suit if they messed up and the people that handle these things have actual degrees, not like anyone can walk off the street and become an RE so they would follow the steps necessary to make sure mistakes don't happen.

absolutelymaybe

Hehe. Sorry. I'm not laughing at you, but I'm laughing because I had no idea how common this is. It's crossed my mind (irrationally) a few times with our embryos. We actually  joke about it now because husband is Hispanic and Mexican food has been the food I've had the most aversions to. I'm like "Are you sure they didn't switch the sperm?" 

Edit: stupid fat fingers hit post before I was done 

krdesi

It has definitely crossed my mind that we had the wrong embryo put in! The 3D ultrasound helped me a bit because we basically saw he's a baldy (which we expect because we both have light hair lol) and he does have some features that we had when we were infants. It's irrational but it does happen to people so it still sits in the back of my mind! lol

rox825

I've been thinking about this myself off and on, I don't think it's necessarily irrational, I mean everything is done behind closed doors so how do we really know that it was the right sperm? I just try to remind myself that if the clinic had ever made that mistake in the past then the clinic wouldn't exist anymore! They don't want to make a mistake as much as we don't want them to. But still, I can't wait to actually see the baby and see features of my husband and know for sure 100% that there wasn't a mix up!

BabyKsMommy

I don't think this is irrational at all. I didn't have this fear until DS was born because he is a red head and super fair. My dh is Mexican and is pretty dark. But hey i figure we love our ds no matter what so it honestly doesn't matter

We did notice though that dh and ds have the same birth mark in exactly the same spot. So I def know now that no one gave us the wrong sperm. I guess my genetics were stronger than DH's.

SKLH

MishaBelle521 said:

For a spilt second I asked my husband about how can we really trust them? Even with an ivf transfer I wondered if the embryo even existed. I just kept telling myself that they would have a huge law suit if they messed up and the people that handle these things have actual degrees, not like anyone can walk off the street and become an RE so they would follow the steps necessary to make sure mistakes don't happen.

Rtaher than the mix of sperm, etc.. I've thought of this A LOT! lol Especially after I had 3 BFN IVF cycles! lol I started to wonder if they were even transfering embryos or not!! lol I remember one cycle in particular, my DH said he saw NOTHING on the u/s screen during transfer. And then after the BFN I always wondered! that's totally irrational since you'r right, these clinics could get suited and have BAD consequences but still!

tilelady85

We think about (and discuss) this too. I saw the story on the news of the lab tech that fathered a bunch of babies. I guess it really wouldnt matter much to DH and I, and would matter even less after the large payout!

xc1148

There is no irrational fear after IF lol. We can find a way to fear anything ;-)

whoberry

I have this fear too.  Every once in a while I say to DH "this better be OUR baby!"  I used to be afraid the baby would come out a different race, like a PP said, making it obvious it wasn't ours immediately.  Now I'm more afraid that it won't be that obvious and we'll find out when he's like 10  that they mixed the wrong egg and sperm or transferred the wrong embryo.  I've even asked DH what we would do if we found out he wasn't ours.  I think it would be harder to decide if we discovered he was half ours, but hopefully this is something I do not need to think about.

DH and I have RH incompatibility so they will have to test LO's blood when he's born.  Hopefully they can tell us what his blood type is so I have a little bit of reassurance that he's ours. Otherwise I will be staring at him a lot to see if he looks like us!

FutureMrsW9

I think it's a common fear, and I actually joke with DH about it all the time to try to lighten the topic up a bit.  But at our clinic, all of my petri dishes and DH's vials, etc. have BOTH of our names and SSNs on them, so I would hope it would be super tough to screw up!  That said, mix-ups have happened before at fertility clinics, it's super rare, but there are stories out there.  I would think that these clinics are uber duber suber (sorry lol) careful because the last thing they want or need is to be in the news as fostering one of these stories.