Bedrest Depression

TRS48

I've been on bedrest for 8 weeks now with hopefully many more weeks to go and I can feel myself falling into a really lonely depression. I feel like nobody understands (the majority of my friends have never been pregnant) and I have nobody to talk to. Others I feel don't understand because they went on bedrest later on... I've been on it since 21 weeks. It's miserable. My husband doesn't understand and seems to be irritated by the fact he has to do everything and pay all the bills. He works 12 hours a day, 6 days a week, so I am home alone with our dogs for long lonely days and when he comes home he works even more so we never reall get quality time now. Cutting back on work isn't an option... We have bills to pay and he is in sales so if he doesn't work hard he doesn't get paid. I feel like I am an old person in a nursing home that is just forgotten about by everyone. I have no family here and most of my friends live in other states or at least a few hours away (everyone moved for whatever job they could get after college). I'm so lonely and my husband doesn't understand. I don't know what to do anymore, I can't go anywhere and having people come by when my husband is at work is more strain on me with the dogs than it's worth (plus I feel and look like crap... Let alone only shower every 2-3 days... So I'm not really in the mood to entertain). Can anyone relate? Has anyone made it through this without going insane? I could use done encouragement.

Ylvelill

*hugs*

I can not imagine how hard it is for you.

I wish I had some fancy advice to give out, but you are the one who gave me encouragement when I first started my bed rest.

I tried tv and gaming for a while but I am finding reading to be the best time sink. As far as your husband goes... I hope he will come around and appreciate that you have the most important job right now and that you are working hard at it.

Hang in there, we just have a couple of months to go.

bluebird1109

I have been on bed rest for almost 7 weeks. I went insane at first and I was very lonely. I got mad. I got sad. I cried. Then I decided that I did not want to be depressed so I changed my attitude.

I decided to make a schedule for myself each day. I wake up in the am and DH brings me breakfast in bed. I watch the news and then I get up and take a shower (DH bought me a shower chair so I can sit down) and then I brush my teeth and braid my hair. It makes me feel a million times better to get myself nice and clean. When I was in the hospital I felt like crap, and then I got to take a shower. It was like I was a new person. Seriously, if you can dedicate 3 minutes to a shower each day I highly suggest it. Have your husband pick you up a shower chair at Wal-Mart, they are so cheap and totally worth it.

After I shower I go on the computer and of course come on The Bump. I also read, do crossword puzzles and word searches, and I browse the internet for recipes I want to try when I am off bed rest. 

Friends and family text me all the time and I talk to my mom at least once a day. I have a dog so it is a PITA to have people come over because she is so hyper, so I can definitely relate to you there. I don't have visitors, but I do keep in touch on the phone.

I suggest that you get into a daily routine. Try to shower once a day and give yourself a manicure while you are laying in bed. It helps, trust me. I also think you need to have a heart to heart with your husband. It sounds like he is being resentful for something that you cannot control. He needs to understand that you would not choose to be helpless. You guys are a team and sometimes one person needs to carry more weight than the other. This is one of those times, and I am sure at some point down the road you will need to keep his head above water too, KWIM?

Bed rest sucks. It is SO difficult. But try to find what works for you when it comes to keeping yourself occupied. Staying occupied really helps how you feel. Good luck to you, and I hope you are able to stay pregnant as long as possible! I'm sending good thoughts your way.

amtay825

I was on bedrest for 6 months with my last pregnancy, I SO feel your pain. I had recently moved to the area, and had yet to make any friends besides my co-workers and we were more aquaintances than friends. I had nobody to come visit, and my husband worked long hours too. I went through the same emotions: I got mad, I cried, I prayed ALOT, I was just a mess. But then, I realized that this wasn't about me. It was about the beatiful life growing inside of me, and I knew I would do whatever it took to make sure he was healthy and safe. So I went into a different frame of mind. I decided this is the season for me, this is what I'm supposed to be doing right now so I'm going to make the best of it. I went from the couch to my bed; watched ALOT of TV. On cool days (we live in FL) I went outside to lay on the lounge chair and was able to get some awesome fresh air. I read lots of books, and I was on the comp alot. I did lots of shopping for the baby online, as well as paid the bills online. It was truly the longest 6 months of my life, but in the end it was all worth it. My son made it to 36 weeks and it was a miracle! I am praying for you both, I know how hard this is. Just remember its for your baby, and try to take it one day a time. Even get a calendar and mark off your days. You'll love seeing the accomplishment as the days and weeks fly by

 

TRS48

Thanks ladies. I am so grateful for this board and to have others to relate to while in the moment. I try to think positive as much as possible but sometimes it just builds up and I turn into a sobbing mess. I'm trying not to think negatively because home bedrest is so much better than being in the hospital and because we prayed so hard for these babies but sometimes I just can't hold it in. I guess it's just a mixture of everything... And nobody understands. I sometimes get annoyed when people repeatedly ask to come over or if I want to go to lunch... What part of bedrest do people not understand? I feel like nobody gets it except people who have been through it before. So many emotions... Guilt that I am helpless, worry for my babies, frustration that nobody gets what I'm going through, resentment that I don't get to do normal pregnancy things like setup a nursery etc, feeling like I'm just fat/ugly (I'm used to taking great care of myself), annoyance about our dogs needing me so much, etc. I know I am blessed to have these boys and 8 months ago I would've seriously hated seeing someone pregnant complain (when that's all I wanted)... So I feel like I just can't think this way. I just needed to vent I guess and see if these feelings were normal and if maybe I'm doing something wrong. Thank you so much for your replies, they honestly help so much. It's so comforting to know I'm not alone and that others can make it through this with happy healthy babies at the end.

amtay825

I'm glad you found this board to vent. I completely understand how it all comes crashing down on you at once! I remember having all of those exact thoughts! For the nursery, I had my hubby put an air mattress in there and 'supervised' the entire set up from the wall paper being put up to complete set up, lol. sounds crazy I know, but it helped keep me sane and also let me feel like I was involved. it got done the way i pictured it, the way I wanted it. I was so thankful for that opportunity. If you have an air mattress, try that hopefully it will work for you. Only problem is getting up practically off the floor when you're 7 months preggo lol! Let it out here ANYTIME! It def helps to get those feelings out. You could even start a journal and write everything down; that helps sometimes too. Then after the baby comes in the quiet reflective moments you'll have it to look back on and remind yourself it was all worth it. I'll be praying for you!!! You'll get thru this!!

Ylvelill

The air mattress is a great idea! I am not allowed up stairs where the nursery is though so my husband and I use FaceTime to let me check on the progress