Cry it out

brianad1204

I have tried everything except the CIO method with my six month old who is still not sleeping in her crib at all. Tonight we are trying the cry it out method and it has been an hour so far with me going in every fifteen minutes now I'm trying to stretch it to a half hour. Hardest thing I've ever done. Somebody please reassure me that I'm doing the right thing please!!!

BootsOrHearts

I would never let a child that young cry on their own, sorry. If she's crying she needs something even if it's just to be near you because she's lonely and afraid.

ReggieLou13

Nope, 15 min is too long. I don't advocate what you are doing

stacers33

Cry it out isn't for every parent it every kid. Some it works, some it doesn't. Usually the first 1-2 nights are the worst and then better. IMO you aren't doing anything that will harm your child. We did the checks and crying. Took 2 nights - we went in every 7 minutes. Now she goes down without a peep. It worked for us. We followed Sleep sense plan.

brianad1204

First night and it only took 45 minutes! I feel like this was a last resort for us and I feel like I did the right thing for a better sleep for all of us.

stacers33

brianad1204 said:

First night and it only took 45 minutes! I feel like this was a last resort for us and I feel like I did the right thing for a better sleep for all of us.

Good job!

amberpro

CIO is a perfectly fine sleep training method at 6 months. It's hard, but you are giving your child the gift of sleep. If you continue to be consistent, it will get better. Often, the 2nd night is worse than the first, but it will get better if you're CONSISTENT in your method.

You can do it. Be strong, mama. Go outside between checks or put on some headphones. If you back down, all crying was meaningless.

BootsOrHearts

lisa1129 said:

I would never let a child that young cry on their own, sorry. If she's crying she needs something even if it's just to be near you because she's lonely and afraid.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with letting a 6 month old CIO. This post was absolutely meaningless and total sanctimommy bullshit.

Hardly. There is a lot of controversy over CIO methods. Heard of attachment parenting?  If you don't agree with me fine, but don't try to tell me my opinion isn't valid.

vorse

I started this 5 days ago. The first night was much worse for me than it was for her. I used to put her down with her paci, lean over the crib and pat her head, keep putting in the paci, and so on, until she fell asleep. It was to the point where no one could put her to bed but me, so I decided she need to learn to put herself to sleep. First night, cried for 37 minutes with checks after 5 minutes, then 10. She cried, I cried.... But she fell asleep. Second night, barely cried, mostly whined for 19 minutes (again with checks). Third night she cried 15 minutes. Last night was 12. Tonight 8. I found that she got more worked up when I went in to soothe her, so now I only go in now if she's really crying and not just fussing and whining. I also started this for naps today. It's been hard but I can definitely see an improvent. Stick with it! I think it's for their own good. If you know they're not hungry or poopy or in pain, it's for their own good.

KMKaiser07

Sorry to thread jack but @vorse‌ I am in same position as you. LO gets more worked up if I go in to comfort him. I would like him to learn to self soothe because he wakes up at night out of habit, not hunger, so I am nursing every two hours. I am totally fine letting him whine and fuss but he starts out with scream crying. How would you deal with that if only going in for crying? Does that make sense?

KateVA

In my experience, the checks make it worse. They fall asleep faster without them. Be consistent is key. I'm consistent at bedtime - he either doesn't cry at all or for less than ten minutes. Naps still aren't working and I'll admit I've messed it up by caving after thirty minutes. And @BootsOrHearts‌ - GTFO - she's looking for support not judgement.

August & After

In our experience, LO was crying MORE when we were actively trying to soothe him by holding/bouncing/shushing/etc. Pediatrician encouraged letting him try to soothe himself a little, and we have a whole new baby. He puts himself down with no fuss. If he did cry, it was 10-15 min. If he wakes, we only feed if it has been at least 4 hours (for overnight). Only once has he woken up in under 4 hrs, he cried/fussed and out himself back down.

vorse

KMKaiser07 said:

Sorry to thread jack but @vorse‌ I am in same position as you. LO gets more worked up if I go in to comfort him. I would like him to learn to self soothe because he wakes up at night out of habit, not hunger, so I am nursing every two hours. I am totally fine letting him whine and fuss but he starts out with scream crying. How would you deal with that if only going in for crying? Does that make sense?

How long do you wait before going in? If Harper woke up scream crying in the night I'd wait 5 minutes and go in, then continue the 10 minute intervals, unless it's when she normally wakes up to eat-- which is around 11 and 4. She did that today when she woke up early from a nap. Just woke up pissed. I went in after 5 minutes, patted her head, shushed.. She got super pissed when I left, but after a few minutes calmed down and just fussy cried for another 15 minutes and fell back to sleep. I watch on the video monitor to see if she's trying to get back to sleep or if she really needs something.

KMKaiser07

vorse said:

KMKaiser07 said:

Sorry to thread jack but @vorse‌ I am in same position as you. LO gets more worked up if I go in to comfort him. I would like him to learn to self soothe because he wakes up at night out of habit, not hunger, so I am nursing every two hours. I am totally fine letting him whine and fuss but he starts out with scream crying. How would you deal with that if only going in for crying? Does that make sense?

How long do you wait before going in? If Harper woke up scream crying in the night I'd wait 5 minutes and go in, then continue the 10 minute intervals, unless it's when she normally wakes up to eat-- which is around 11 and 4. She did that today when she woke up early from a nap. Just woke up pissed. I went in after 5 minutes, patted her head, shushed.. She got super pissed when I left, but after a few minutes calmed down and just fussy cried for another 15 minutes and fell back to sleep. I watch on the video monitor to see if she's trying to get back to sleep or if she really needs something.

I've gotten him to sleep a few times through CIO but he will only stay asleep for 15-20 minutes before waking up screaming and won't stop. Part of why he is still in our room in the pnp is because he is up so much and has a sleep association with nursing so he pretty much doesn't ever calm down unless he's allowed to nurse to sleep.

notkateanymore

BootsOrHearts said:

I would never let a child that young cry on their own, sorry. If she's crying she needs something even if it's just to be near you because she's lonely and afraid.

Hey...way to be a bitch. You are super good at that.

notkateanymore

BootsOrHearts said:

lisa1129 said:

I would never let a child that young cry on their own, sorry. If she's crying she needs something even if it's just to be near you because she's lonely and afraid.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with letting a 6 month old CIO. This post was absolutely meaningless and total sanctimommy bullshit.

Hardly. There is a lot of controversy over CIO methods. Heard of attachment parenting?  If you don't agree with me fine, but don't try to tell me my opinion isn't valid.

Why do you suck so bad? Seriously.

mavgirl_73

And sometimes you try everything, I mean everything, including CIO and you just have a kid that is a terrible sleeper. My adage has always been, " if it feels very wrong, don't do it." Do what works for your family (within reason, I do believe 15 min is on the longer side but I don't know how your baby is crying).

ugoglencoco

I'm all for doing what works for you. We personally did extinction with ds1. When I went in to check on him, it worked him up even more. It took 4 or 5 days. He never cried for more than 30 minutes though. He was 6 months old at the time and is a fantastic, well adjusted 3 year old who sleeps great. I was planning on doing the same with ds2, put him in his crib and he rolled over and fell asleep without a peep. And has done the same every night since. I was fully expecting screaming. He showed me, I guess.

Moral of the story, do what makes YOU comfortable. Research, find out as much as you can about sleep training, make a plan, and STICK to that plan. Sleep training can be very beneficial if you are rigid with it.

74dragonfly

Hugs. Teaching baby to sleep is important. If you stay the course sleep will get better

RanFan28

BootsOrHearts said:

I would never let a child that young cry on their own, sorry. If she's crying she needs something even if it's just to be near you because she's lonely and afraid.

roxymatt said:

Nope, 15 min is too long. I don't advocate what you are doing

Super helpful. Super. [-X

OP: You are not eternally damaging your kid by choosing CIO. The key to ANY sleep training is consistency. You can do it and you will feel SO much better when you are rested. ::hugs::

lifesaverz

KMKaiser07 said:

Sorry to thread jack but @vorse‌ I am in same position as you. LO gets more worked up if I go in to comfort him. I would like him to learn to self soothe because he wakes up at night out of habit, not hunger, so I am nursing every two hours. I am totally fine letting him whine and fuss but he starts out with scream crying. How would you deal with that if only going in for crying? Does that make sense?

@KMKaiser07‌, I read somewhere that if a baby wakes up scream crying that it is often due to trapped gas & them having to burp. I'm so glad I read that because ever since then whenever LO wakes up crying like I have burped her & it worked EVERY time. So might be worth a try!

BoothBaby

@KMKaiser07‌ -- if you are comfortable with it, I would suggest allowing him to cry (even scream-cry) for a bit, just to see how long it might last. Sometimes babies will cry hard for just a few minutes and then settle back down. Part of the reason he cries like that might very well be because he knows it gets your attention the fastest. I swear these babies are way smarter than we give them credit for, they are just smart in a primitive way. It's tough to know what to do, but if your baby is waking every couple hours and won't ever go back to sleep without nursing, you might need to try sleep training.

mavgirl_73

Damn manipulative little humans.

August & After

Our LO would do the scream cry for the longest time (not CIO, I just knew that particular cry) and it did mean he had gas. Now however, that cry has a little twist to it and it doesn't quite sound the same. We thought gas at first but it's just his cry to get us back in the room. If he legitimately needs something, there is no consoling until he has it. With that shriek cry, he stops the second we come back in and stares at us. It honestly took a couple weeks after starting CIO to get a system going that worked. We did every 4-5 min, we'd go in and soothe. That worked at first and he was out really fast. Then after a week or so, going in every 5 was upsetting him more, so we did graduated extinction and it's working much better and faster. The last four nights, we haven't gone in once to soothe, he doesn't make a peep. Rolls around and falls asleep within 10 min.

BootsOrHearts

GTFO? In your dreams dear.

Since when are we all puppies and rainbows on here?

I think it's reasonable to have healthy debate and differences of opinion about parenting methods. She asked people to tell  her she's doing the right thing. I don't think she is so I said so. I think if a baby is crying, they should be comforted. There's a reason it feels wrong to let them cry. Cuz it is. That's my opinion. Are people entitles to disagree? Of course. But you post something on an internet board and you're going to get differences of opinions. OP - feel free to ignore me if you want. I don't judge you for doing what you're doing, I'm just telling you I disagree with you. There it is.

Everyone calm the hell down.

cammyisagirlsname

Boots, no one gives a shit if you disagree or not! Just don't be an asshole about it.

yty0205

Boots, no need for puppy dogs and rainbows but you could have phrased your original response to be clear that you didn't agree with her method but that you werent judging.

BootsOrHearts

yty0205 said:

Boots, no need for puppy dogs and rainbows but you could have phrased your original response to be clear that you didn't agree with her method but that you werent judging.

Ok fair enough. OP I apologize if my tone was judgy. I hope you find a way to get some sleep.

nofcksgiven

BootsOrHearts said:

GTFO? In your dreams dear.

Since when are we all puppies and rainbows on here?

I think it's reasonable to have healthy debate and differences of opinion about parenting methods. She asked people to tell  her she's doing the right thing. I don't think she is so I said so. I think if a baby is crying, they should be comforted. There's a reason it feels wrong to let them cry. Cuz it is. That's my opinion. Are people entitles to disagree? Of course. But you post something on an internet board and you're going to get differences of opinions. OP - feel free to ignore me if you want. I don't judge you for doing what you're doing, I'm just telling you I disagree with you. There it is.

Everyone calm the hell down.

Pot meet kettle...

mh89

https://www.thedaddycomplex.com/post/55268573331/latest-parenting-trend-the-ctfd-method

There was no need to jump down Boot's throat because she disagrees with what you're doing. It's a controversial topic. She didn't name call (unlike some of those who responded to her) or sound judgey to me. Actually she said the exact line a lot of you were saying when people were asking about CIO when I frequented the board when our babies were 0-3 months. Like, word for word.

Sometimes it seems like you are all just looking for a fight over nothing. 

notkateanymore

Boots was a bitch and people responded...you don't need to defend, she can take care of herself.

notkateanymore

Oh and I'm sure you are smart enough to know the different between 3 months and 6 months.

nofcksgiven

mh89 said:

https://www.thedaddycomplex.com/post/55268573331/latest-parenting-trend-the-ctfd-method

There was no need to jump down Boot's throat because she disagrees with what you're doing. It's a controversial topic. She didn't name call (unlike some of those who responded to her) or sound judgey to me. Actually she said the exact line a lot of you were saying when people were asking about CIO when I frequented the board when our babies were 0-3 months. Like, word for word.

Sometimes it seems like you are all just looking for a fight over nothing. 

Bless your heart...just stop.

mh89

lisa1129 said:

Nobody likes a white knight. At 0-3 months, we were also blasting people for giving rice cereal back then. This is 6 months. It's a completely different situation.

Bullies don't like people who defend the person they're ganging up on either. Don't perpetuate the mommy wars. She disagrees with letting a baby CIO for an hour at 6 months (so do I). We can have different opinions on a controversial topic without needing to name call or gang up on each over it FFS. 

lp0

Risalyn222 said:

I know I have said this before. But CIO is not for me. I'm not against it totally but it's just not the right choice for my family. That said I rocked or laid with my 2 year old since day 1. He now relies on me to sleep. We bed share with him bc it's the only way we all sleep

I guess this is my long winded way of saying there are ways to sleep train without using CIO. You just need to find a method that works for you and stick with it.

I agree with @Risalyn222‌. Babies are all different and just because one method works for this baby it may not for that baby.

For us we also rocked our two year old to sleep every night as a baby but he does not need us to sleep. Once he's out he's out until morning. We moved him to a twin bed at 20 months and now we lay next to him to fall asleep then he's good until morning. My point is that kids are all different and react different to the exact method.

We tried CIO with DS for two nights and it wasn't for us. He would get so upset that it was much harder for him to fall asleep then if we just rocked him for 15 mins. Besides I didn't mind the extra cuddle time.

notkateanymore

mh89 said:

lisa1129 said:

Nobody likes a white knight. At 0-3 months, we were also blasting people for giving rice cereal back then. This is 6 months. It's a completely different situation.

Bullies don't like people who defend the person they're ganging up on either. Don't perpetuate the mommy wars. She disagrees with letting a baby CIO for an hour at 6 months (so do I). We can have different opinions on a controversial topic without needing to name call or gang up on each over it FFS. 

A group of people agreeing that somebody is acting like a bitch for no reason doesn't make them bullies or does it mean they're ganging up on somebody. If Boots was at all self aware, maybe she would realize that when MULTIPLE people think she came across as bitchy and judgement all she needs to think about the way she posts.

notkateanymore

Oh and when a person posts that they're at their wits end with sleep and they're going to CIO, if you don't agree with it or wouldn't do it...it's probably not the time to bring it up. How is it helpful to say "you're doing it wrong"?

nofcksgiven

mh89 said:

lisa1129 said:

Nobody likes a white knight.

At 0-3 months, we were also blasting people for giving rice cereal back then. This is 6 months. It's a completely different situation.

Bullies don't like people who defend the person they're ganging up on either. Don't perpetuate the mommy wars. She disagrees with letting a baby CIO for an hour at 6 months (so do I). We can have different opinions on a controversial topic without needing to name call or gang up on each over it FFS. 

I have no dog in this fight. We don't CIO, we don't need to do it. We haven't done any sleep training because we have been obscenely lucky.
I can't imagine doing it, but if it came down to that or sleep deprivation, I bet most of us would do what we needed to do to have a happy and healthy family.

You (and Boots) came on to a thread to bash
another mother. That simple.
Perpetuate the mommy wars all you want, it just makes you guys look like assholes.

mh89

Meggie0421 said:

mh89 said:

lisa1129 said:

Nobody likes a white knight.

At 0-3 months, we were also blasting people for giving rice cereal back then. This is 6 months. It's a completely different situation.

Bullies don't like people who defend the person they're ganging up on either. Don't perpetuate the mommy wars. She disagrees with letting a baby CIO for an hour at 6 months (so do I). We can have different opinions on a controversial topic without needing to name call or gang up on each over it FFS. 

I have no dog in this fight. We don't CIO, we don't need to do it. We haven't done any sleep training because we have been obscenely lucky.
I can't imagine doing it, but if it came down to that or sleep deprivation, I bet most of us would do what we needed to do to have a happy and healthy family.

You (and Boots) came on to a thread to bash
another mother. That simple.
Perpetuate the mommy wars all you want, it just makes you guys look like assholes.

I literally haven't bashed anyone. At all. Whatsoever. What are you talking about?

ChiAmy

I don't want to hear my kids cry...ever however, when it comes to sleep, habits are formed...good or bad. Our son had bad habits, so at 7 months we let him cry.  Yes cried an hour....not because he needed something, but because he was used to us picking him up every time he made a peep. We tried every other training method, but this is what worked for us. After 1 hour the first night, 20 minutes the second ...we had a happy sleeping baby the third. We will do this for Anya at 7 months too.

brianad1204

Hi everyone! Thank you for all the support and opinions. I didn't mean for this to be a negative conversation so I am sorry for starting such a controversial topic. Last night was a success, although it took an hour and a half! Tonight only took 15 minutes!! Seeing the progress has made me feel that I have made the right decision for my daughter!