NWMR - settle a debate

mae0111

DH and I were supposed to go out with a couple of friends tonight - one of his friends, and one of mine.  It has been months since I've been out for drinks with my friends.  Like over 6 months.

DH was out of town all last week (5/5-5/9), and was out every night with coworkers.  I was supposed to have dinner with a consultant on Tuesday night (5/13), but it got cancelled at the last minute.  I couldn't find anyone to go out with me, so I worked a bit late and made it home for bed time.  DH went out with his friend (same one we're meeting tonight), on Wed, and had a few drinks.  He had to leave his car in the city and get a cab home.

So - who is right?  I think it's my "turn" to have a few drinks, and for him to be the DD*.  He just got a night out.  Several, in fact.  He thinks the fact that he's had a bunch of nights out should have no impact on how we handle tonight.  For many reasons, taking a cab is not an option.  Someone has to drive.

Edited for clarity because I can't seem to string a sentence together today.  :-S

angiek1

Are you trying decide who gets to be the passenger on the way home? If that is what the debate is I think it is your turn, especially since he clearly had a good time the other night. However, if this is going to cause you two to be mad at the other tonight I'd flip a coin.

jf198400

You totally deserve a night out, tell him to suck it up.

Mustardseed2007

YH thinks the events of the past week or so shouldn't have any bearing on who has to drive...well what does he think should determine who has to drive? It seems like he isn't disputing who has gotten to go out more, he just doesn't think it's important-probably b/c looking at that history doesn't provide him the result he wants.

He therefore must think something ELSE should dictate the DD, what is it?  

mae0111

Mustardseed2007 said:

YH thinks the events of the past week or so shouldn't have any bearing on who has to drive...well what does he think should determine who has to drive? It seems like he isn't disputing who has gotten to go out more, he just doesn't think it's important-probably b/c looking at that history doesn't provide him the result he wants.

He therefore must think something ELSE should dictate the DD, what is it?  

He just assumed I would drive.  When I told him that I wanted to have more than one drink (because that's all it takes to impair me... 2 drinks...), he suggested leaving the cars in the city (because there would be 2 cars left due to logistics).  Which would mean a $60 cab ride home, putting the sitter in a cab when we got home, and hauling everyone into the city to get the cars.

So we are at a bit of an impasse.  I have lost this game of chicken.  I want to go out, we already confirmed our sitter, so I'm driving.  And he will be getting up at 6am with our crazy early rising children tomorrow.  )

Mustardseed2007

He's gonna get up with the babies after being out and drinking? I mean, maybe he won't have a hangover but I wouldn't trust that promise/plan if it came from my husband. But yours may be more honorable and able than mine.

VOR

Sorry, dude, but on this one issue - your DH sounds like an ass. He's had quite a few nights out lately and he can't give you ONE night?

I'm near the end of 2 really crappy weeks and right now I REALLY understand the "need" to want to have a couple drinks and just relax.  The fact that your DH just assumes he gets to go out, AGAIN, and drink, AGAIN, and you have to suck it up...  he's being an ass on this.

mae0111

Mustardseed2007 said:

He's gonna get up with the babies after being out and drinking? I mean, maybe he won't have a hangover but I wouldn't trust that promise/plan if it came from my husband. But yours may be more honorable and able than mine.

We switch off weekend days. Saturday is my day. I will put both feet on his back and push him out of bed if necessary. He will try to stay in bed, and it won't happen. Will. Not. I even slipped a comment about it into conversation tonight, and he acknowledged that tomorrow is his day. Yay!