What's easier to attend-- Shower or Gender Reveal?

KT416 · May 2014

Hi All--

Wanted to get opinions from the board since I've never been to a Gender Reveal party before. A good friend from college is pregnant and is having a gender reveal party soon. She lives about 2+ hours from me and I haven't seen her since the fall. I definitely want to see her soon, and feel like I should try to go to at least one thing if I can, but distance and such is obviously a reasonable excuse.

I'm wondering if a gender reveal is easier than a baby shower to attend or are they worse? Should I go to neither and then meet up with her over the summer or something. Thoughts on gender reveal parties?

theholmanherd · May 2014

I think reveals are a little easier, because you're not watching the MTB opening all her gifts and everyone playing games and all that. Reveals are usually shorter, too.

jencity9 · May 2014

I've never been to a gender reveal party but I feel like that would be more difficult for me than a shower. I still typically have fun at baby showers though so I might be the odd one out here. For me, by the time a shower comes around I'm used to the idea that this person is having a baby. A gender reveal feels more unnecessary and like we're still making a huge deal early enough on that I am still adjusting to the idea of yet another person having a baby.

BunnyBerry · May 2014

Guess I'm out of it, because I always assumed these gender/sex reveal parties were just a trendy theme for regular baby showers! I still have fun at showers too, and I guess I think a reveal party would be fun. But if you wouldn't like to be at a baby shower, I agree with @rammerjammer that it might be nice to make the time for a special one-on-one visit at a time that a long drive would "fit your schedule better."

sundaybrunch · May 2014

I'd have to say the shower would be easier because I'm selfish and would not be able to take the shrieks, hugs, "I knew it"s, and OMG!s that would come at the moment of the reveal. I'd either start crying or not be able to fully conceal my annoyance which wouldn't be fair to the pregnant lady and I'd end up feeling awful about it later. A shower wouldn't be awesome either though. I totally think the idea of meeting her separately from both events is the way to go.

I also agree with @RammerJammer that reveal parties are AWish. I didn't even realize it was a thing until a few months ago and still can't wrap my head around the idea. This gif pretty much sums up my reaction when I think about them.

Lindsey7348 · May 2014

Either would be tough in my opinion, because like PP said, all the 'YAY's!' at the gender party and the 'oohs and ahhs' at the shower would both make me vomit. But I am pretty fragile right now so I would take that with a grain of salt haha.

I might say "hey I have a gift for you but unfortunately have prior commitments, so what if we met up at a halfway point sometime soon at a great place with a patio and catch up?" I mean pregnant people can drive too. They get so much unneccesary attention, gaw lee.

See, bitter and fragile today lol.

ddvj79 · May 2014

RammerJammer , I would go to neither but catch up later 1:1.

lebradford · May 2014

Is "neither" an option?? I wouldn't want to go to a "gender" reveal party right now either.

One of my friends is getting married and she got knocked up and will be largely pregnant at her wedding. I feel like *that* I should suck it up and go to, but I'm dreading it already. But a baby shower or gender reveal I would ditch out on for sure.

SweetieShellieH · May 2014

I found my friend's gender reveal easier then the shower. It was less baby-ish I guess you can say. The part of it that was hard was at one point I was sitting at her kitchen table and I was the only person NOT pregnant that was sitting at the table. That's when I decided to go hang out with my DH. DH was not around at the shower, so maybe that's why it was harder for me.

FutureMrsBaldwin2012 · May 2014

I would probably opt out of both. Luckily the shower that I was invited to falls on my weekend to work so I have the perfect excuse not to go. I'll send a gift and a card and be done with it. I will only put myself through having to go to a shower if it's a very close friend, otherwise it's a gift only!

KT416 · May 2014

Thanks everyone for your thoughts!

It sounded very casual party with pizza and beer, and probably a colored cake, which I am always game for, so I figured it would be easier especially if DH is there. But most of her friends are pregnant and such, so I'm sure there will be a lot of baby talk, so I think I'm just going to skip it and meet up in the summer to catch up.

I will play the shower by ear; I may not be able to make the date anyway because there's always that date in the summer where everything happens on that one day, so we'll see...

nswain85 · May 2014

If there was no choice and I was forced to pick I would probably go to the gender reveal. Simply because the focus would be on the "big reveal" and probably other conversation would take over at some point where as the baby shower stuff is in your face the entire time and there's no escaping. I personally do better with news than having to look at baby stuff, for like an hour, as the mtb opens. Good luck with your choice though and remember self preservation, if you need to leave or excuse yourself, do it.