my MIL has finally done it!

mirra23

I will first say that for the most part I love my MIL. Usually she doesn't upset me. She has not been respectful of a few things in my marriage but now that I am pregnant it is a whole new world. It seems I can do nothing right, I can't dress right, I can't eat right, I can't make any decisions that she thinks is right. I am going bananas!! Most things I just blow off and try to keep in mind ( like ever article says) that she is trying to be helpful. I realize not everything is worth an argument. But now, she has come right out and said she thinks the name we have chosen for our baby boy is UGLY. We have chosen Francisco Felix. We want him to be called Felix. Francisco is my husband and FIL name. Felix was just a name that I loved and it turned out to be my husband grandfathers name. I asked if there was an issue with the family about the name and if anyone had a bad relationship. I have been assured that it is not a problem. I will say I saw this coming because she has known the name and ignores me when I use it and has previously said she didn't like it. I talked to my Husband about it before and he thought I was being crazy. Now he sees. She says she refuses to call him by the name we want him Felix. Which in my opinion is too much. It is our child and our wishes should be respected. I don't think I should have to let her call him whatever she wants, or anyone! I have read articles that say that! My husband backs me up. I am just feeling too much stress from this and can't believe it .I am having a hard enough time because we live in Ecuador with his family. I have no family here they all are in the states. I do understand some cultural differences and let them be what they are but stand firm on what I feel comfortable with. I realize everyone is entitled to their opinion, but shouldn't  people know how to express it in a way that is not hurtful or rude? I don't feel that I am out of line requesting everyone call him Felix. She did the same with her son. Everyone had to call him by his whole name. What do you think?

RondackHiker

Hawkward said:

Today is a really good day. Like, really good.

I'm so happy.

CinemaGoddess

I think you should name him Felix Felicis.

Kewii

My inlaws, mainly MIL tried to do the same thing. 

I just correct her. Every. Single. Time. (I just say my baby's name whenever she uses the wrong, totally not the same name)  I get where you're coming from.  It's really rude and annoying. Eventually she won't have a choice but to use LO's real name if she wants a response from your kid.

minervacullen

My BFF had this. Her oldest has a family name for his first name, but it's very old school and they didn't want him called that. They had always planned to use his middle name. Her mil refused to use the middle name and would use his first. Eventually he told her he didn't like it and stopped responding to it. He's 13 now and I don't even thing most people know his given name.

It'll work out, just let it go.

SuperTreesa

Let It Go. Use the name you want but for the love of Pete quit worrying what others call your kid.

My MIL still holds major grudges against people who called her son Patrick "Patty" in grade school 25 yrs ago. It's crazy. Even with that she still makes up the WORST nicknames for my daughters. "Ellie Jelly Bean" "Harriella" and "Margartita" for example.

But she adores my girls and they adore her. And now my 4 year old corrects her on her name.

I would address the issue of saying the name is Ugly. That's just hurtful language and should not be allowed.

Edit- spelling is hard

MSC03

I miss TB more than I thought!

Unknown

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Hesterlicious

If somebody purposely called me by the wrong name I wouldn't give them the chance to call me anything. Let her wait to meet him until she can get it right.

FalconCrest

We made the mistake of sharing names the first time we were pregnant.  Everyone told us how much they hated the name (Lucy).  After that, the name was announced when the baby was born.  It takes a special kind of asshole to tell you to your face that they hate your baby's name.

Hesterlicious

Because MILs are the worst. Mine ate my pizza crescent rolls last night. RUDE. and she didn't even use a plate to warm them up in my nasty microwave. Yuck.

Hesterlicious

Yeah. And my microwave is embarrassingly filthy. Remember the maternity fridge pics? She's got nothing on me. DH is supposed to clean it for Mother's Day since his chinese food made the mess.He's a little late.

CinemaGoddess

The irony of this entire thing is that Felix means happy.  

angelashly

I agree with others just wait it out. I'll be honest I skimmed your post, but is she calling him anything? Unfortunately you can't dictate what she calls him. More than likely she will come up with a nickname for him anyway.

monkeybutt61612

I don't understand why you don't just have his first name be Felix

jesuisfatiguee

FranciscoLeDisco is my next kid's name. Amazing.

monkeybutt61612

@Hawkward‌ holy shit (pun sort of intended)

mirra23

TyrannosaurusLex said:

Fraaaaancisco! That's fun to say. Op you mil sounds like a piece of work. She had her turn to name babies, now it's yours. Also I am compelled to ask: Does your last name by any chance start with an S? FFS would be great initials.

I love that movie!! our last name starts with a P

mirra23

angelashly said:

I agree with others just wait it out. I'll be honest I skimmed your post, but is she calling him anything? Unfortunately you can't dictate what she calls him. More than likely she will come up with a nickname for him anyway.

She wants everyone to call him Francisco. She won't refer to him as anything but "the baby" which is fine now. I do understand Francisco is his first name, but that is what they call my husband and we wanted Felix to have a family name but not go by it. I am fine with Nicknames. I understand those are gonna happen, especially here. I was mostly upset by her reaction. We are raising him bilingual too and my thought was he needs consistency.

Monkeybabe

mirra23 said:

angelashly said:

I agree with others just wait it out. I'll be honest I skimmed your post, but is she calling him anything? Unfortunately you can't dictate what she calls him. More than likely she will come up with a nickname for him anyway.

She wants everyone to call him Francisco. She won't refer to him as anything but "the baby" which is fine now. I do understand Francisco is his first name, but that is what they call my husband and we wanted Felix to have a family name but not go by it. I am fine with Nicknames. I understand those are gonna happen, especially here. I was mostly upset by her reaction. We are raising him bilingual too and my thought was he needs consistency.

I'm guessing your H's family is Hispanic, given the names. I find it kind of interesting that she's so anti calling him by his middle name, because I grew up in a town with a huge Mexican population and most of the boys went by their middle names, because they were all named after fathers, grandfathers, uncles, and so on.

mirra23

monkeybutt61612 said:

I don't understand why you don't just have his first name be Felix

we just liked the way it sounds as Francisco Felix. That really is the only reason. My husband and FIL first names are Francisco. However no one calls them that, just a few family members. They both have nicknames. My MIL hates that my husband is called Pancho. From what I understand she fought it all through his childhood. Maybe that is her reason for wanting to call him Francisco?

mirra23

Hawkward said:

Hawkward said:

My honest advice is to wait until the baby is born to fight this battle. Or even better yet, when Felix is a toddler and he starts correcting her himself.

Or, an even better better yet, your MIL might do something so heinous you don't even care about the name thing anymore. For example, my MIL used to piss me off by "accidentally" calling DS by the wrong name. But then when she told me she didn't think his disorder was real and "accidentally" let him eat cat poop off the floor to see if he'd get sick and need hospitalized, I didn't really care about the whole name thing anymore. 

I have a lot of feelings about MIL issues.

OMG! That is nuts! I don't know how I would control myself! I guess I have other things to look forward to
:-S

LoveActually4

Is the Baby Names board trying to punk us?

mirra23

Thanks everyone! I feel much better! you all are right, I have better things to worry about than the name right now. Just got caught off guard and in whirl of negativity.(and maybe a hormonal upheaval) i I will just wait and she how she acts when Felix comes. Until then.... I gotta figure out this breast feeding thing!

mirra23

Monkeybabe said:

mirra23 said:

angelashly said:

I agree with others just wait it out. I'll be honest I skimmed your post, but is she calling him anything? Unfortunately you can't dictate what she calls him. More than likely she will come up with a nickname for him anyway.

She wants everyone to call him Francisco. She won't refer to him as anything but "the baby" which is fine now. I do understand Francisco is his first name, but that is what they call my husband and we wanted Felix to have a family name but not go by it. I am fine with Nicknames. I understand those are gonna happen, especially here. I was mostly upset by her reaction. We are raising him bilingual too and my thought was he needs consistency.

I'm guessing your H's family is Hispanic, given the names. I find it kind of interesting that she's so anti calling him by his middle name, because I grew up in a town with a huge Mexican population and most of the boys went by their middle names, because they were all named after fathers, grandfathers, uncles, and so on.

You are right! They are Ecuadorian. I was surprised too about the name thing. I think she tried very hard for everyone to call my H by his full name, Francisco Javier, and he ended up with the nickname Pancho and his father has the nickname Paco because they are both Francisco.

CinemaGoddess

I'm really hoping your MIL responds to this in 2020.  

mirra23

PrivacyWanted said:

Is it possible she is insisting on just saying "The Baby" because she is superstitious about naming a baby before birth?

Also OP can you please fix the title to read "Has" instead of "Had" it's really bothering me.  K? thx! 

She just doesn't want to call him Felix. I am ok with her saying " The Baby". I was just upset over the reaction she had. I thought it was rude and uncalled for.

I fixed the subject. Wasn't sure how this all worked. I think this is only my second post.

mirra23

HilarityEnsued said:

Also... who gives a fuck what she wants to call your kid?  She'll be around to be a loving grandmother, she hates the name you picked, so what?

We had all these grand plans to call my kid one name, but after he was born, he sort of grew into a totally different nickname and I love it.  When I was pregnant I would have hated it

I agree! It doesn't matter what she thinks of the name. I not so upset she hates the name. I am most upset about how she reacted to it. That is what made me see red! I have come to expect, especially where I live now, he will have a whole other nickname and I am ok with that. I know when he goes to school he may get one or he grows into something new. I am fine with that. I just was blown away by the rudeness.

mirra23

CinemaGoddess said:

I'm really hoping your MIL responds to this in 2020.  

what do you think she would say?

mirra23

Hawkward said:

mirra23 said:

CinemaGoddess said:

I'm really hoping your MIL responds to this in 2020.  

what do you think she would say?

She's making a joke in reference to the thread at the top of the page. 

ahhh! got it! missed that one

mirra23

JellyBellyStar said:

Wait it out.

On another note...or maybe the same.  Since she doesn't want to call your kid by its name can you call her by another name instead?  That way it's a win win.  So for example if her name is mary maybe you can call her harry.  Orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr you could just pretend that's what you're going to do and focus on bigger things in the mean time as in shit that doesn't involve your MIL. 

That  a good idea! She hates he given name.... and when I call her it! lol