Updated Again: Guys I need prayers — The Bump
July 2013 Moms

Updated Again: Guys I need prayers

valstulasvalstulas
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edited May 2014 in July 2013 Moms
Update 2: We have been here in the ER since 10 this morning (it's 7:20 here). They told me when we got here that we would be unable to use our cell phones (dumb!) so I've been sneaking mine here and there. >:)

Today has been a lot of waiting and aggravation. The crisis worker took forever to get here to see him and didn't communicate with us for most of the day. I had Owen's case manager call for an update at 3:30. I got this very vague message so I ended up calling the crisis worker myself. She told me that I may have to wait several days in the ER with him before he got a bed.

About an hour later crisis called me back. Our local pedi inpatient unit was full but they found a bed in a hospital a little over an hour away. She said she was going to present him (which involves giving them the concern/safety risk and past medical history) and wait to see if they accepted him. Shortly after my case manager called to tell me she had also called and spoken to the same hospital. It was a good thing because crisis had only told them that he had set a fire and they were going to deny him. So the case manager told them that he had threatened me with a piece of glass, swung at me with the baby in my arms, and that his behavior was escalating.

I finally heard back from the hospital that they were accepting him. He is being transported by ambulance right now and I am following behind him as soon as I swing home and change Thomas' and Finn's diapers.

The best part of my day, though, was a very nice surprise from @maryannespier‌ @mermomo5‌ @Citrusfamily‌ @ramy3695‌ and @lizabethann06‌. They all chipped in a bought us dinner from Ray's favorite pizza place! It was such a load off and let's face it, there's no better pizza than faction pizza.

Anyway, I feel relief that he's where he needs to be and getting help. It's been a long few weeks but I feel hopeful. And having everyone's support has made this so much easier. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all so much! You really are the best group of ladies I've ever "met!"

************************************
Update 1: Inpatient hospitals won't take overnight presentations so I have 2 options: stay here in the ER with Owen until 7 am when they can present him or go home with him and bring him back in the morning and start the whole. Process. Over. Again.

This is bullshit. Obviously I can't stay overnight. Their toilet is out of order and I have to pee so bad. There would be no place for me to sleep. I only got a few hours of sleep today after working all night.

So it's home for now and we get to wait around for crisis all over again tomorrow. Great.



************************************
I'm sorry. I know I haven't been as active lately, but I'm requesting your thoughts and prayers.

Owen's dad was absent for the majority of his life but had been seeing him for about a year or so. A few months ago he had an MP3 player that went missing and accused Owen of taking it and threatened to kill him. Owen has had no contact with him since.

However, Owen has been spiraling out of control lately. He's been lying, stealing, running away, and has been physically aggressive to me. A week and a half ago he broke a picture frame and threatened me with the glass. I took him to the ER but there were no beds for him, so they sent him home.

A few days later he threw a basket full of laundry down the stairs at Mr. Vals and swung at me while I was holding Finn. I brought him to crisis but still no beds.

Everything has just been escalating and tonight it came to a head. He ran away when I told him he couldn't go out to play after school (he got a write-up for vandalizing school property) and he stole a lighter from a neighbor's grill. He went into the woods and set 2 fires. Emergency was called, the fire department arrived to put out the fires and the police transported him to the hospital.

Right now I'm sitting in the ER hoping they have a bed for him. I don't know what I'm going to do if they don't and he has to go home. I live in constant fear of what he could do to the other boys, to Mr. Vals and me, to himself.

The officer that responded investigated the scene of one of the fires and told me that, given the dry conditions and the burn pattern, had a gust of wind kicked up the fire, Owen would have been trapped in the middle of it and would have been unable to get out.

Tl;dr My kid is mentally ill and it's getting worse. I'm out of options and don't know what to do. Please keep our family in your thoughts.


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Re: Updated Again: Guys I need prayers

  • I'm sorry Vals. :(
    valstulas
  • Offering the best and most support I can in a bunch of  >:D<  >:D<

    Thinking you all!
    valstulas
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    valstulas
  • Oh dear. Please let us know if we can help in any way.

    We all love you and I can't imagine being in your shoes with 3 other children to think of.

    All the hugs.
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    valstulas
  • Wow, I'm so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I can tell you are a strong woman and an amazing mom, and I hope you and your son get the support you need.
    K & M married 10.8.2011 *** BFP 7.17.2012, EDD 3.21.2013, Miscarriage at 6 wks 3 days *** BFP #2 11.7.2012, beautiful Tess born 7.11.2013
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  • I don't have the right words to say how sorry I am. I am sending lots of prayers your way.
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    valstulas
  • No advice but big hugs and lots of prayers. I hope you can find some way to get through to him and help him. Can't say how sorry I am this is happening to your family. Will be thinking about you all! >:D<


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    valstulas
  • I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this--I will definitely be thinking of you and saying a prayer that things get better.
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    valstulas
  • Lots of hugs. Hopefully he can get the help he needs.
                           
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    valstulasMelnyk86
  • Thinking of you and your family. Keep us posted... Anything else we can do to help.

     

    valstulas
  • Oh, Val, I'm so sorry. I hope he can get the help he needs before anyone gets seriously hurt. So many hugs to you.
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    valstulas
  • Oh honey! I'm so sorry you're going through all this. Sending tons of love and positive thoughts and prayers your way. I'm hoping Owen gets the help he needs and your family can stay safe. Please let us know if there is anything our mom community can do for you. Keep us posted!
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    valstulas
  • casey78 said:

    YGPM, mama.

    Thank you and replayed.


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  • JTA2426JTA2426
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    Hope y'all can get him the help he needs. Poor kid. Praying for you and your family!
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    valstulas
  • Love and prayers for you. You are an amazing mom and all your boys are lucky to have you. I hope Owen gets the care he needs and deserves.
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    martyn17valstulas
  • @valstulas‌ : I'm so very sorry you are going through this with your son. How devastating. We are here for you & we love you. :x


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    valstulas
  • Thinking of you and your family.
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    valstulas
  • ((HUGE HUGS))
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    valstulas
  • I'm sorry that you are going thru this. Mental illness is so difficult. Prayers for you and Owen that you find the help you need
    valstulas
  • emandiaemandia
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    Oh my God. I am so sorry. I'm just heartbroken for you and Owen. :(. Please let us know if you need anything. We all love you.


    valstulas
  • bobceebobcee
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    I'm so sorry. I truly hope he is able to get the help he needs.

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    valstulas
  • KMRR86KMRR86
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    :(. Thinking of you and your boys. Sending big hugs, warm thoughts and hoping for the best for tomorrow. You're a strong mama.
    valstulas
  • I'm so sorry Vals. Sending big, giant hugs your way.

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    valstulas
  • I'm so sorry val. I'm thinking of you and praying he gets the help he needs. >:D<


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    valstulas
  • I really sorry for the disappointing news. I hope tonight goes OK and you and Owen get some rest. I hope you find some help tomorrow. Big hugs.
    K & M married 10.8.2011 *** BFP 7.17.2012, EDD 3.21.2013, Miscarriage at 6 wks 3 days *** BFP #2 11.7.2012, beautiful Tess born 7.11.2013
    valstulas
  • Oh Val, I'm so sorry you and Owen are going through this. All the hugest hugs; I wish I could do more.
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    valstulas
  • I'm so sorry Vals. Huge hugs. We always love you and we're always here.
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    valstulas
  • Oh my heart breaks for you. You are such a great mom to your beautiful boys. I hope Owen gets the help he needs! Sending thoughts and prayers to you and your family. Strength to you so you can get through it all. Big hugs!

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  • I am so sorry, what an incredible heart breaker. I hope you can find options for GOOD support, for all of you. Giant hugs!!!!
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    valstulas
  • dinomama13dinomama13
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    Your family was in my bedtime prayers tonight. Hopefully the night passes uneventful so you can take him back in the morning to get some help. Sorry they sent you home :(


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    valstulas
  • So sorry val! I really hope they can get this all figured out for you. I'm praying for you guys!
    valstulas
  • I'm so sorry. Thinking of you & your family :(.
    valstulas
  • 24karat24karat
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    I'm so sorry Vals...hugs, thoughts, and prayers.
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  • MyrrhajMyrrhaj
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    edited May 2014
    I am so sorry that your son, and in turn, you and your family are going through this. It's tough on everyone, I know this from experience. I really hope that they have a bed for your son asap, and all of you can receive the help that you need. Thinking of you and yours and giving big mental hugs. >:D<
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    valstulas
  • I am so sorry! I will be praying for him, you and your whole family! I hope they can help him.
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  • ljs4117ljs4117
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    :(  I'm so sorry that your family is going through this.  It sounds like an incredibly difficult situation...  I'll be thinking about you all and hoping for some timely help for Owen.  Hugs momma, you are so strong!
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    valstulas
  • Thinking of you, Owen and the rest of your family. >:D<

     

    valstulas
  • MRadsMRads
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    <3 you and all your boys are in my prayers. How heartbreaking to see your LO deal with such an ugly disease. You're an amazing mother and role model to all your LOs. I hope he is able to get the help needed.
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    valstulas[Deleted User]
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